My Best Friend's Girl
by msleahbeah3236
Summary: Cam is crazy about the girl next door, but Ms. Maya Matlin happens to be dating his best friend, Zig. Will his loyalty toward his best friend stop him from pursuing his dream girl, or will crossed lines cause him to call every man for themselves? Story in Cam's POV mostly. AU, and Zig might be a little OOC in some parts.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! Welcome to my new story! I know that I have two stories going right now, and I am definitely not stopping them. I just couldn't get this out of my head long enough to write anything else.**

**Before you start reading, I altered the ages a bit. Cam is in Maya and Zig's grade, and they are all sophomores. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi**

I find myself staring at her again as she writes feverishly at the notebook filling out the prompt on the board. Her blonde hair keeps falling over her face and she keeps pushing it behind her ears only for it to fall again a minute later. Gosh she is adorable…

"Time's up" Ms. Dawes calls happily. "Now who would like to share something that they dislike about themselves?" she continues darting her eyes around the class of unenthused sophomores.

"Really, none of you would like to share… This leaves me with no choice…" she adds glancing around the room searching for the first victim.

I bite my lip nervously silently praying that Ms. Dawes doesn't call on me to read my entry. It's not because I have an issue sharing my insecurities with 20 of my peers, but because I was too busy staring at the wonderful girl sitting across the room to write down more than "One thing I dislike about myself is"

"Mr. Saunders, would you please grace us with your work?" the strange English teacher asks looking at me expectantly.

"Um… I'm sorry Ms. Dawes. I didn't finish." I mention with a frown hoping that she will go easy on me.

She gives me a questioning look before saying "Just read what you've got so far. I'm sure it's marvelous."

I take a deep breath before looking down at my journal sadly wishing that I had more than seven words written down. "One thing I dislike about myself is" I read aloud anxiously with shaking hands.

"Continue." Ms. Dawes gives a reassuring smile as the entire class waits for me to keep going.

"That's all I have." I comment furrowing my eyebrows regretfully as the entire class seems to chuckle at my stupidity.

"Mr. Saunders, wasting the time I give you to write is unacceptable. Please see me after class to collect your detention." She tells me with a disappointed glare as the class continues to provide me with amused glances.

I sink down into my chair feeling bummed out about my bad luck, and wait for Ms. Dawes to call on another student.

I end up zoning out again not really listening to the four students who read their journal entries. Instead I watch as the blonde girl across the room listens to each person intently. She looks so cute when she is thinking. Who am I kidding? She looks cute all the time.

"Alright Class, that's enough sharing for today. Let us move on to 'Lord of the Flies'. What did you think of the first two chapters?" Ms. Dawes asks the class curiously, and I start to pay attention knowing that this was important.

"Anyone?" she asks the class with enthusiasm that they weren't returning. Finally Maya raises her hand.

"Awe yes. Ms. Matlin, what are your thoughts on this riveting classic?" she asks before letting her start.

"I really don't like this Jack kid. I feel like he's really bossy and mean, but overall the story seems interesting." She says putting her two cents in, and starting the class on an in depth discussion of what each character symbolizes.

When the bell rings the entire class gets up and walks out of the room to their next class as Ms. Dawes shouts atop all of the chatter "Nice job today folks! I am very pleased with the discussion. Read the next two chapters for Monday!"

I get up from my seat and anxiously make my way to my teacher.

"Mr. Saunders, what happened today? It isn't like you to not write your journal entry." Ms. Dawes tells me with a disappointed frown.

"I'm sorry about that. I just got a bit distracted." I add swallowing the lump growing in my throat.

"Well, don't let it happen again." She adds with a smile waving me off.

"So I don't have a detention?" I ask curiously.

"No Mr. Saunders. I trust that it was a onetime thing. Have a nice day." She smiles at me as I walk out of the classroom happy that I won't have to bring a detention slip home to my mother.

I quickly make my way to the chemistry room not wanting to be late for the class that starts in 2 minutes. When I finally make it in to the room I notice that mostly everyone is there, and Mr. Betenkamp is getting ready to take attendance.

I make my way to my seat next to my best friend Zig, and the minute I sit down he laughs at me. "I heard you got a detention!" he chuckles knowing that I have never gotten a detention before in my life.

"Ms. Dawes just told me not to let it happen again. I didn't get a detention." I tell him nervously. "Who told you anyway?" I ask getting my chemistry binder out of my book bag.

"It was Maya. Who else would it be?" he asks looking at me like I am an idiot. "I don't know. Sorry for not knowing." I add moping.

"Dude, are we still on to hang after school today?" he asks curiously, and I just nod and comment "sure".

"Cool. Video games at my house?" he questions curiously, and I nod while Mr. B starts his lesson.

"Today I will be teaching you the wonders of stoichiometry!" Mr. B shouts excitedly.

He goes on talking about crap that I don't understand for 50 minutes before the bell rings. Finally the day is over and I can go home.

"Hey, I have to go to my locker. I'll meet you at yours in a bit!" Zig calls walking in the opposite direction. "Kay" I call back having forgotten about my after school plans.

When I arrive at my locker I notice the familiar face of the girl whose locker is next to mine. "Hey Maya" I greet fiddling with my combination lock and opening it despite my shaking hands.

"Hey Cam, Ms. Dawes looked pretty mad earlier. Are you okay?" she asks me with that smile that drives me crazy on her face.

"Yeah, she didn't even give me a detention like she said she was going to." I reply back grabbing the books that I need for the night and discarding the rest into my locker.

"Well, that's good. I totally don't understand why she had us write something that we don't lke about ourselves anyway. No one wants to share that sort of thing." She tells me nicely laughing at Ms. Dawes's cluelessness when it comes to teenagers.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." I say closing my locker and leaning my back against it.

"Like really Ms. Dawes? Do you think I want to tell everyone that I hate that I'm flat chested?" she jokes, and I can't believe that a girl as amazing as she is has body image issues.

"You're not flat chested." I mention not realizing how awkward and inappropriate it was until after I said it.

Her face turns red, and I automatically feel really bad and uncomfortable. "I'm sorry that was a weird thing for me to say." I add opening her locker door more and revealing her blushing cheeks.

"It's fine. You're just trying to be nice." She responds anxiously as her boyfriend, my best friend wraps his arms around her waist from behind.

"Hey beautiful" he whispers into her ear before kissing her cheek. "Hey Zig" she smiles turning around and pecking him on the lips.

I get that dirty feeling that I feel every time I see Maya kissing Zig. It's an impulse more than anything. I feel the need to punch him in the nose which is terrible. He has been my best friend since we were 5, and still I am disgustingly envious of his relationship with Maya.

"Are you guys ready to walk home?" the tall boy asks Maya and I.

"Yeah" I utter starting for the door as Maya nods her head and takes his hand in hers.

We walk the six blocks to our street, and Zig and I head to his house while Maya keeps going the four houses to where her house and mine lay side by side.

"Bye Zig. I'll call you later!" Maya calls walking passed my front yard into her house.

Zig carefully unlocks his door and we head to his room like we have many times before.

"Dude, your room literally smells like rotten cheese." I say walking into his very gross room.

"blah blah… you sound like Maya!" He says stepping over some dirty clothes on the floor.

"Well maybe you should clean it." I add picking up an empty soda can and throwing it into the garbage can next to his dresser.

"Psssh! Ain't nobody got time for that!" He responds humorously picking up the x-box controllers.

"Let's play!" he says trying to drag my attention from his messy room.

"Alright, but man, you have to clean this mess up. It's disgusting." I smile grabbing the controller and taking a seat on the bean bag chair while he sits on the edge of his bed.

"Beat that bitch!" he yells having won the game.

"That was a cheap shot! I'm done!" I respond putting the controller down. "Baby!" he teases me.

"I'm just tired of playing." I groan turning off the x box. "Yeah we have been playng for quite a while. It's getting dark." He says looking out the window.

"You hungry?" he asks curiously. I nod and we go down the stairs where Mrs. Novak had arrived home.

"Hey mom, where's dad?" he asks her curiously grabbing a bag of chips from the pantry.

"He's still at the store. He's closing up a little late tonight." Mrs. Novak replies in her thick Russian accent.

"How are you boys doing? You need anything?" she asks with a bright smile. "Nah mom, we're good." he responds nicely.

"Well, don't eat those chips. I'm making dinner. Is Campbell staying for dinner?" she asks snatching the bag from his hand.

"I don't know… Are you staying for dinner?" he asks turning to me.

"No. I actually think I'm gonna head home now." I say pointing toward the door.

"Okay… See you later. We should hang tomorrow too." He adds waving goodbye to me as I grab my book bag and shoes and walk out the door.

Silently, I walk through the darkness to my home four houses away from Zig's.

"Hey Cam, what are you doing home?" my mom asks from the couch.

"I don't know. I'm just tired I guess." I reply plopping down on one of the chairs.

"Oh… I made some spaghetti if you're hungry." She tells me with a smile.

"I am actually." I say going into the kitchen and grabbing a plate of spaghetti. "Where is everyone?" I inquire having not seen any of my siblings since walking into the house 10 minutes ago.

"Lydia is staying over at a friend's house and Brady is at Cody's. It's probably just us here tonight sweetie." My mom tells me happily as I eat my spaghetti at the kitchen table.

"Cool I guess." I comment putting my empty plate in the sink. "Good spaghetti, mom." I comment sitting back down on the chair.

"I made it the same way I always do." She says flipping through channels. "Well, it's good." I add wondering why she won't just take the compliment.

"Well thanks, kiddo." She smiles cheerfully. "You're welcome. I'm gonna go hang out upstairs." I tell my mom going up the stairs to the bedroom my little brother and I share.

Once inside I collapse onto my bed, and just think for a while before getting a text from my older sister. "Hey favorite little brother, are you home?"

I find it strange that she is being nice and realize that she must want something. "Yeah. What do you want?" I ask her.

"Could you pretty please go in my room and grab my laptop and bring it outside? I forgot it and we need it for this project." She responds back.

"Sure. When are you gonna be outside?" I ask.

"Like 10 minutes."

"kk" I reply before dropping my phone on my bed and going across the hall to my sisters room.

After opening the door the first thing I notice is that it's extremely chilly in the room. It appears my idiot sister left her windows open. I walk over to the window to shut it and realize that her window is directly aligned with Maya's.

Through her window I see Maya jumping around dancing and singing into a hairbrush, and I smile to myself. God I think I'm in love… She is… my dream girl.

Cut it out, Cam. Stop staring at her. You're being creepy and she's your best friend's girlfriend.

I quickly finish closing the window not wanting to be classified as a total freak. I grab my sister's laptop case from her desk and look around for the actual laptop. After finding it on her bed I put it in the case making sure to grab the charger too.

When waking out of the room I take one more glance out the window and see Maya changing through the mirror over her dresser. I gulp loudly knowing how wrong it is to stare despite how badly I want to. My brain is telling me no, but I really want to. Who could it hurt anyway…

Your best friend, Cam! It could hurt him. It is also very wrong to invade someone's privacy I tell myself forcing my eyes to divert away from the window where Maya is standing in her underwear and a tank top.

I walk down the stairs quickly trying to forget how perverted I was just being. My sister is waiting outside in Alli Bhandari's car. "Here you go." I comment handing the laptop to my sister.

"Thanks so much baby brother. You rock!" she says messing up my hair with her hand.

"You're welcome Lyd. Have fun! And, hello Alli." I greet nicely before turning away and heading back inside.

"Oh by the way, you left your window open!" I call as they start to pull out of the driveway. "Don't worry I closed it!" I continue and she sticks a thumbs up out of the car window as the drive off.

I sigh deeply before going back inside and back up the stairs.

I'm really disgusting… I think to myself as I lay on my bed unable to stop picturing Maya in her underwear. Honestly, I'm glad I looked away when I did. I can't even imagine where I would be if I had seen more. The guilt I am feeling now would most likely multiply by a billion.

Eventually, I am able to get her out of my brain, but only after numbing my brain with TV shows for 3 hours. Thank god for "Family Guy" is all I can say.

**Please tell me what you think and if I should continue. I know this chapter is a bit dry, but it should get better.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my goodness guys, thank you for the nice response to this story. I love you guys! Enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own degrassi or the movie mentioned.**

I wake up Saturday morning and shower quickly before going downstairs where my sister is making herself breakfast.

"Mom says put your hamper in the basement unless you plan on doing your own laundry." She tells me as she scrambles her eggs in the pan.

"Okay…" I say turning around and going back upstairs to grab my dirty clothes from my room.

"Cam, do you want any eggs?" she calls from the kitchen.

"Sure Lyd." I reply as I carry the halfway full hamper down the first set of stairs. As I pass her on my way to the finished basement she continues "Then you wouldn't mind taking my hamper down?"

I sigh loudly as I carry my hamper down the stairs. "I guess not" I call up.

"Could you kids stop screaming across the house? If you want to talk to each other please just be in the same room." My mom berates as she puts a load of clothes in the washer.

I go back up to the kitchen and Lydia smiles as I walk back up the stairs. "Thank you baby brother." she says as I make my way into her bedroom.

I find myself peeping out the window to see if Maya is in her room which she doesn't appear to be. Man, I'm a creep for even checking.

"Your eggs are done." Lydia comments with a smile on her face as she eats her eggs at the kitchen table.

"Thanks big sister!" I mock her sitting down and eating the eggs.

"How was your project thing?" I ask her curiously before taking another bite of the eggs.

"Fine I guess… I really dislike Mr. Perino, but we got it done." She smiles proudly.

"How was your night? I'm sure it was pretty quiet without Brady." She comments jokingly.

"It was… I watched TV, and did nothing else, well, other than get your computer." I add thinking about Maya dancing around like a crazy person.

"Why so smiley about getting my computer?" she asks confusedly.

"Um… Nothing" I reply taking another bite of eggs. "Tell me!" she demands curiously obviously trying to think of what it might be.

"No" I rebut annoyed… "So there is a reason that you're smiling?" she asks pushing her long dark blonde hair behind her ears as if getting ready to listen.

"Please tell me you didn't read my diary!" she says with wide eyes… "No. Why would reading your diary make me smile?" I ask trying to change the subject.

"Then what is it, punk?" she asks nudging my arm.

"You're gonna think I'm a creep."I say lowering my head in shame.

"Did you like look through my underwear drawer or something?" she asks looking at me with a shocked expression.

"What the crap, Lydia! Why would you even assume that? That's so gross!" I ask disgusted at her accusations.

"Did I not tell you that I found Brady and his friends with one of my bras?" she asks.

"No! And, gross. Brady is a little freak." I respond shaking my head.

"I know. I don't how he is our brother. What the hell is it?"She asks getting a bit aggravated.

I take a deep breath before telling her "When I was closing your window I saw Maya through the window dancing around her room, and I watched her."

"Yeah that is creepy… Why were you watching her, weirdo?" she asks accusingly.

"I don't know, Lydia. I guess because…I like her." I say shamefully never having admitted that to anyone.

"Oh… Awe!" she coos giving me a smile as she puts her hand over her heart. "I totally called it."

"Called what?" I ask her annoyed by how she is reacting.

"Don't you remember when you were like eight and hanging out with her and I teased you that you liked her, and you were always like 'No… I don't.' and I was like 'You think she's cute' and you were all 'I don't think she's cute.' And then she was all sad?" she asks rambling on and on about it.

"No. I don't remember that ever happening." I say glaring at her confusedly.

"Well it did. I should call Katie, and tell her we were right." She adds getting up excitedly.

"Don't!" I shout at my older sister angrily.

She stops and gives me an inquisitive look. "Why not?"

"I don't want everyone knowing, and I don't want this getting back to Maya. It's a stupid crush that's never going to go anywhere. She has a boyfriend, and he's my best friend. I can't like her, and I'm trying really hard not to." I tell her miserably.

She cocks her head to the side, and gives me a sympathetic look. "Cammy…" she coos walking back toward me.

"Just promise me that you won't tell anyone." I say in hopes that she will listen.

She nods at me obviously feeling bad for my stupid situation and goes upstairs.

I tidy up the kitchen knowing that my mom would flip at both me and Lydia if she came upstairs and the kitchen looked a mess.

After that I hear the doorbell ring, and go to the door to see Zig waiting with an excited smile.

"We're going on a double date!" he announces giddily.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him confused.

"I was talking to Maya, and she was telling me her friend Tori, you know hot Tori with a nice ass, thinks you're cute! I knew that you would be into it so I told her to set up a double date, and that's what we're doing today. Get your coat, Man; we're going to the mall."

"I don't know if I want to go on a date with Tori. She's kind of shallow." I tell him with a frown.

"Dude, are you a fag or something? She's super hot… Like legit, I would hit that if I had the chance." He says confused at what I am saying.

I give him a dirty look and he continues. "You have to go. I already told them you would."

"Whatever. I'll go, but next time could you ask me first?" I sigh angrily.

"Yeah, sure, whatever man. I'm getting a ride with Maya. Do you need a ride too?" he questions curiously.

"Nah. I'll ask my sister to drive me." I tell him pointing behind me at my house.

"Kay. We'll meet at the food court entrance at 2?" he asks me raising his eyebrows curiously.

"Yeah… sure. See you there." I say dejectedly closing the door. I really don't want to go on a date with Tori… I think to myself irritated.

I walk up the stairs to Lydia's room where she is laying on her bed with her laptop and headphones in.

I walk in the room without being noticed so I wave my hand in front of her screen to grab her attention.

"What?" she asks taking her headphones off.

"Could you give me a ride to the mall later? I'll give you gas money." I ask my sister curiously.

"You're lucky that I already planned on going shopping today. Why are you going to the mall? You hate shopping." She adds sitting up and interrogating me.

"If you must know… I have a date that I don't want to go on." I tell her taking a deep breath.

"Explain?" she asks confusedly.

"Zig and Maya set me up with Maya's friend, Tori." I groan annoyed.

"Oh… Do I know her?"

"I doubt it." I sigh sitting down on her desk chair.

"Okay… What time do you want to go?" she questions curiously.

"I'm meeting them at the food court at 2, so 1:30." I say getting up and walking out.

"Okay." She answers as I go across the hall to my room to get ready for my "date".

We pick up my sisters friend on the way to the mall, and I end up being a bit late. When I enter the food court I see Zig, Maya, and Tori sitting at a table waiting.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late. Lydia had to get her friend." I say giving the group a simple smile.

"It's cool. So, we are thinking a movie and then dinner. You okay with that?" Zig asks me as the girls watch my expression.

"Why not?" I claim awkwardly as Zig grabs Maya's hand and Tori walks next to me toward the movie theater.

"So Cam, is there any movie you want to see right now?" Tori asks me sweetly.

"I don't really care. I'll go with whatever you guys want to see." I reply uncomfortably.

"Oh. That's sweet of you." She tells me with a flirty smile.

"Not really. I just don't care what we watch." I respond not wanting her to think that I am sweet, or nice in any way.

"How do you guys feel about 'Man of Steel'?" Zig asks the three of us, and we all agree pretty quickly considering I honestly didn't care.

When we get into the theater the previews are playing and we sit down. I sit in between Maya and Tori, and silently wish that I was on a date with Maya instead.

"Just a warning here, I get scared of everything so I apologize if I scream at anything." Tori utters smiling nervously.

"It's not a scary movie." I say a bit rudely knowing t is not how she wanted me to react.

Maya and Zig spend the entire move not watching the movie where as me and Tori actually do.

She tries to bury her head in my chest for one of the action scenes, and I just feel myself getting annoyed as she continues to make moves on me. Can she not see that I'm not into her?

After the movie while we are eating dinner at the food court everyone is talking while I move my Panda Express chicken around with a plastic fork.

"Cam, how did you like the movie?" Maya asks me trying to pull my attention from moving the food around the bowl. She doesn't know this, but I didn't focus on the movie. I was too busy feeling disgusted by her and Zig's PDA.

"It was fine I guess." I comment looking at her quickly and then back down at my bowl.

"How did you like it?" I continue asking her the same question that she had asked me.

"What I saw was cool." She says giving a flirty smile to her boyfriend and breaking my heart in the process. I know that he is the reason she wasn't watching, and I saw what they were doing instead of watching. It disgusts me.

I don't partake in conversation with any of them and for the most part keep my mouth closed as I try to contain my jealousy as well as my anger toward my best friend for setting me up with a girl I don't like.

At around 5, Tori's mom comes to pick her up and Maya, Zig, and I are left at the food court.

"What the hell, Cam?" Maya freaks out at me hitting me in the arm irritated.

"She likes you and you were a total jerk!" She continues angrily at me, and I start to get a bit aggravated by how she is acting.

"I don't like Tori. I don't like her as a person, and I don't like her as anything else." I respond in an annoyed tone.

"Well, why did you want to go on a date with her then?" she asks me with squinted eyes, and Zig sighs.

"I didn't actually ask him. I just told him he was going." Zig butts in stopping Maya from getting madder at me.

"Well, why would you do that? You told me he liked her!" Maya yells at the tall boy.

"Don't blame me for him being an asshole." He says pointing at me.

"I'm not blaming you for him being an ass. I'm blaming you for being an ass!" she tells him walking away from us in disbelief.

"I was not being an ass. I thought he would have fun!" he yells back at his angry girlfriend as she walks away.

"Wait, Maya" I call going to stop her as Zig stands there pouting like a child.

"What?" she asks turning around to face me with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I'll call Tori and say sorry for not talking to her. I'll let her down easy. Sorry…" I tell her apologetically with an awkward smile hoping she would forgive me.

"Okay… One question though… Why don't you like her?" she asks curiously.

"I just don't. She's not my type." I tell her shrugging.

"Oh… I guess I'm sorry for trying to set the two of you up. It sucks that you don't like her. She has liked you since freshman year." She adds sighing at Tori's her best friend's misfortune.

"Sorry… I just don't like her like that… or at all really. She's a ditz" I comment and she raises an eyebrow.

"Could you not talk shit on my best friend?" she asks me looking annoyed.

"Sorry…I'm gonna go find my sister. Have fun with your boyfriend." I say coldly, and I notice a puckered brow on the blonde girls face as I walk away.

That night I text Tori this message "I'm sorry that I was a bit of a jerk on our date, but the truth is I like someone else."

She didn't respond back so I figure she probably will just avoid me at all costs from now on which I am fine with. I don't like when she flirts with me anyway. It's awkward…

Why did she ever even like me? I mean I'm sure Tori can have any guy she wants… Well, any guy but me… I want a girl with a brain, preferably one who has blonde hair and lives next door.

Too bad it won't happen. I'm weird for even wanting it to.

**I hope you liked this chapter. Please give me feedback and suggestions. I can't believe it already has 5 favorites. I wasn't expecting it at all. Have a great day guys. I'll update as soon as I can.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.**

"Lydia, can you hurry up? I still need to shower!" I yell knocking on the door to the only bathroom in the house.

"I just need to brush my teeth!" she says from inside. Once she comes out of the bathroom I tell her "You should start getting ready earlier!"

I quickly jump in the shower and get ready just barely getting my clothes on when my mother yells up the stairs "Come on Cam, we are all ready to go!"

I rush down the stairs as quickly as I can, grabbing my back pack and shoes before following my siblings to the car.

I sit in the back seat next to my long haired 12 year old brother, and my mom turns around. "Don't you have hockey practice today?" she asks curiously as I realize she is right and I had forgotten my bag.

"I'll be right back!" I say exiting the car and running into the house and up the stairs to grab my hockey bag from my room.

"Cam, work on getting your stuff together before you go to bed so we don't have all of this craziness in the morning." My mom scolds as I put my hockey bag in the trunk.

"It's not my fault. I couldn't even shower until 8:30! Lydia takes forever." I groan not wanting to get yelled at for something I couldn't control.

"You need to work on that too, missy." My seemingly stressed out mother tells Lydia as she pulls out of the driveway and turns toward my younger brother's school. Lydia rolls her eyes at our mother, and mom sighs irritated at her.

When our mother pulls up in front of our school Lydia gets out of the car without saying a word, and I tell my mom "Have a nice day at work." Before grabbing my hockey bag and walking into school.

I set my large hockey bag on top of my locker, and grab my stuff for first period French with Madame Jean-Aux. On my way to French class I pass Maya and Zig in the hall who seemed to have made up by the way they were holding hands.

"Hey Cam, are you ready for French?" Maya asks me running up and walking next to me after having said goodbye to Zig.

"I guess…" I reply knowing that she is asking because we have this class with Tori.

"Did you call her like you said you were going to?" she asks curiously.

"I texted her… she didn't respond, but I did text her." I say with a slight smile as we make it closer to the French room.

"What did you text her?" she questions hesitantly.

I take a deep breath before continuing… "Just that I am sorry for how I acted, and that I like someone else."

"Ugh…" she scoffs at me. "She's probably crushed." She frowns at me sadly. "You suck for not liking her. Think of how much fun it would have been. Since Zig and you are friends and me and Tori are friends we could've doubled all the time!" she says sadly.

"Well, I'm sorry that I like someone else." I tell her trying my best to not let her know that I was referring to her.

"Okay… who is it?"She asks me raising an eyebrow.

"Play it cool, Cam. Don't make it obvious that it's her. Just say a name." I think to myself trying to say any name other than hers. Sadly, in that instant I couldn't think of any other girl, but her.

"Uh… I like um… Caroline." I tell her with a smile as I open the door to the French room and hold it open for her.

"Caroline Stephens?" she asks looking at me like that is the craziest thing she had ever heard.

"Yeah… she's smart, and nice, and pretty." I say nervously trying to convince Maya.

"And she's dating Allen! Cam, you can't like a girl who has a boyfriend. That's crazy." She responds with wide eyes.

I chuckle at the fact that she doesn't know the half of it, and go to my seat in the back of the room.

The fact that she thinks going after a girl with a boyfriend is crazy makes me wonder what she would say if she knew about me liking her, my best friend's girlfriend. She would probably think that I was the worst person ever.

After Madame Jean-Aux let us out of class I walk to my locker to get my gym bag and then to the locker room where the majority of boys in the class are already changing.

"Man, did Zig show you that naked pic of Matlin? I did not think she was that hot!" Chewy tells me sticking his book bag in a gym locker.

"What are you talking about?" I ask him confusedly.

"Zig showed me a picture of Maya with her top off during free period this morning. Legit man, she should dress to show off that little body she's got, one word to describe it, dude…SEXY!" he says enthusiastically obviously picturing Maya in his head as he says it.

"Chu, if you so much as think of that picture one more time I'll rip your head off." I tell the boy aggressively pushing him into the lockers.

"Dude, chill! What's wrong with you?" he asks getting up and taking a couple steps away from me.

I feel myself growing angrier as I think of all of the people Zig has showed this picture to. Chewy is barely what he would call a friend, and he showed him.

What the fuck is his problem? I mean I know that he can be an asshole, but this is even bad for him. Why would he ever think that it is okay to show people pictures like that?

Why would he want other guys ogling over pictures of his girlfriend? Was he trying to brag or is he really that fucked up in the head?

I can't even believe she would send him naked pictures… She's so perfect and sweet. How did he even talk her into something that stupid?

I don't want people looking at my Maya naked. I don't want Zig looking at my Maya naked. To think of what he probably did while looking at that picture… It makes me sick.

Have they had sex? I think making myself nauseous at the thought of Zig and her… doing that…

Of course they haven't. He would have told me. I assure myself.

As soon as lunch starts I walk to Zig's locker knowing that he would be there. "What the hell is the matter with you?" I ask him angrily with a clenched fist.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he asks turning away from his locker to face me.

"In gym class Chewy told me that you showed him a naked picture of Maya!" I whisper angrily at him not wanting the world to hear.

"What? Do you wanna see it?" he asks curiously pulling his phone out of his pocket.

"No! Why would you show people that?" I ask him shoving him harshly into the locker.

"You need to fucking chill. It's no big deal. I showed like ten people. It's not like I sent it to anyone." He responds acting as if it's no big deal.

"Do you know how embarrassed Maya would be if she knew that you showed people those pictures?"I ask him angrily through clenched teeth.

"She's never gonna know, Cam. Calm your tits."he replies shoving me away from him.

I laugh angrily in disbelief. "How do you know that I'm not gonna tell her? She's my friend too you know!" I say pushing him again with more force slamming him into the locker.

"Sure… maybe when you were ten. Things have changed. You don't even know her… And I know that you aren't gonna tell her because you wouldn't ruin my relationship with the girl I love over something so stupid." He declares looking at me annoyed.

"Delete the pictures!" I say angrily knowing that he is right. Despite how crazy I am about Maya I would never tell her this.

Zig is wrong however about why I wouldn't tell her… I wouldn't want to hurt her with the news that her boyfriend, the guy she trusted with those pictures is an idiot who showed them to all of his friends.

His feelings are the last thing in my mind…

"Fine dude, I'll delete them. Just chill!" he says slamming his locker and walking away down the hall.

I decide for the first time ever to sit with the hockey team at lunch. "Hey, can I sit with you guys?" I ask the group of guys who were mostly older than me.

"Sure you can, Rookie." Dallas says scooting his chair over and making room for me.

"Thanks guys." I say grabbing a chair and bringing it over to the table. "What made you sit with us today, kid?" Luke Baker asks me with a full mouth after taking a bite of his roll.

"My friend's just being stupid." I tell the guys with a frown as I take a bite of the sandwich I had gotten for lunch.

"Awe… Rookie's having trouble with his little boyfriend." Luke teases, and a few of my team mates laugh while others look at him strangely.

"I'm not gay, Luke." I tell him with a serious tone, and Dallas nods agreeing with me, and looking obviously annoyed by Luke.

"Don't listen to Baker. Dude's an idiot." Dallas tells me jokingly. "No I'm not!" Luke butts in offended. They continue to tease each other and say annoying things and I realize why I don't go out of my way to hang out with them.

Dallas is really the only one of them that I like at all. The rest of them get their kicks from making fun of people and being jerks to everyone.

English class comes around and I feel an overwhelming urge to tell Maya what Zig had done, but I decide against it.

"Cam, why didn't you sit with us?" she asks me as she catches up to me a couple of feet from the door to Ms. Dawes' room.

"I'm not getting along too well with your boyfriend today." I tell her with a blank expression.

"Oh… He didn't say anything. What happened?" she asks curiously grabbing my shoulder and stopping me as I try to walk past her.

I gulp loudly at the feeling I get as her hand touches my arm taking in the moment and all of its awkwardness as her hand rests on my shoulder waiting for me to turn around.

"I don't really want to talk about it." I say with a sad frown before walking over to my seat trying not to give her another glance.

The prompt on the board for our journals today is "What, if anything, would you be willing to fight or even die for? Explain your answer."

Funny that the first thing that pops into my mind isn't my family, hockey, or anything else that it should be… it's Maya.

I would do anything to make her happy, and I mean anything. That is the only reason that I am keeping Zig's stupidity and jerkiness from her.

I decide that writing about her in my journal would be inappropriate so I don't use her name, or any details that would reveal her identity to the class on the off chance that I am stuck reading it out loud again.

"Alright everyone… Time's up. Any volunteers?" Ms. Dawes asks the class clapping her hands once.

Today a few students raise their hand because the prompt is a lot less personal to them, and she calls on the lot of them before moving on to "Lord of the Flies" once again.

"I have decided to assign a Character Map project based on your discussion last class… After so many complaints on your last project where you chose your own partners I have decided to try out a new method… Everyone on this side of the room, write your name on a slip of paper, and we will put it in a container while people over here will choose a partner at random." She proclaims smiling happily while many of the students groan miserably at the news.

I don't really care how our pairs are chosen considering I do not have many friends in this class, so I have no issues with the idea. I don't even have to get a slip of paper out because I'm on the choosing side.

Ms. D starts at the front of my side carrying a hat full of names and having everyone choose. I don't even consider possibly being Maya's partner until the hat gets to me, and I pick out a paper with her name written on it.

I find myself smiling as I realize I have an excuse to spend time with her… I'm kind of a terrible friend. I know. At least I didn't show a bunch of guy's pictures of her naked. Instead I watched through the window as she changed …

Yeah… I feel like she will hate me forever if she knows that so I think I'll keep that to myself.

As soon as the last person chooses their partner we break into our pairs and Maya comes over to my desk with a wide smile across her face.

"I'm so glad I got paired with you and not someone who I don't get along with." She says sitting in the desk in front of me.

"Yeah… me too" I smirk. "So, who do you want to do for this project?" she asks me curiously looking at the rubric.

"Um… I don't know. We could do Piggy, or Ralph, or maybe Jack." I say listing the main characters in the book.

"Jack it is… I hate his jerkiness so much. It will be so easy." She giggles cutely.

"So, when do you want to get together to do this?" I ask her inquisitively.

"Um… It's due on Thursday so how about we make plans to go to the craft store for materials after school today or tomorrow and then work on it after that?" she inquires.

"I have hockey until 4 today, but I'm free after that. My mom or sister could probably drive us." I smile looking forward to the time we will be spending together without Zig. It will be the perfect opportunity to get to know her better and prove to Zig that I am still friends with her.

"Okay… Today it is. This is going to be a fun project. I'm excited." She says enthusiastically causing me to chuckle. She is so cute when she gets excited.

Chemistry is perhaps the most awkward hour of my life. Even if we don't have time to talk with all of Mr. B's teaching there is tension in the air.

Zig is obviously irritated with me for flipping out at him, but he deserved it. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten physical by shoving him into the locker, but he totally disrespected Maya, and that isn't okay.

Luckily, I have hockey after school and I am not stuck walking home alone. I know that it wouldn't be ideal for Zig to walk home with a guy who he's angry at, and I know that Maya would walk with him mostly because she doesn't know why I am so mad at him.

**Ooh... Stirred things up a bit. I liked writing this chapter and I hope you liked it too. I included invisible swag man! lol Please tell me what you think. I super appreciate it. Also, I am so pleased with the response you guys have had to this story. Thanks for reading! You are all the best!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I know this is kind of cold, but I'm going to challenge you. I will only update if I have 9 reviews on this chapter. I like to know that people are reading because it motivates me and puts me in the mood to write. Hope you like this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

My mom picks me up from hockey practice on her way home from work, and I ask her about driving me and Maya to the store for materials for our project.

"Um… I guess I can do that." she says sighing and looking tired from a long day at work. "I'll ask Lydia." I smile knowing that it would be easier.

"Alright… That's a good idea." The brunette, middle aged woman says with a small glint of relief.

My mom has been acting kind of weird lately, and I am starting to wonder why. "Are you alright, mom?" I ask concerned.

"Yeah… Work is just getting really stressful. It'll be okay." She assures me pulling into the driveway of our home.

"Go ask your sister to take you." She tells me as I grab my hockey bag from the trunk.

I make my way up the stairs and drop my hockey stuff in my room before knocking on my sister's door.

"Come in!" she yells and I open the door to see her sitting at her desk doing homework.

"Hey favorite sister!" I say taking a seat on her bed as she swivels her chair to look at me.

"What do you want?" she asks knowing that I don't refer to her as my favorite sister unless I need something.

"Do you think you could drive me to the store?" I ask her hopefully.

"Are you serious, Cam? I just gave you a ride to the mall on Saturday. I'm not your personal taxi." She says turning her chair back to her homework.

"Please Lydia. I have a project due on Thursday and we need to get a poster board, and markers and stuff. I will love you forever."

"Why can't mom do it? I have homework." She groans annoyed.

"Mom is really stressed out and I'm sick of bugging her, and it's not like Maya's mom can drive." I say really hoping that my sister will just agree to it.

A smile comes across her face at the sound of Maya's name. I completely forgot that I told her…

"Awe… You're working with her on a project. That's adorable!" she squeals causing my face to turn a dark crimson.

"It was at random… I wouldn't have paired with her if it wasn't." I say trying my best to return to a normal color.

"Well, I guess I'll take you." She tells me smiling deviously. "Lydia, if you say something I swear…" I say nervously hoping that she doesn't tell Maya that I am obsessed with her.

"Oh relax… I'm not a total bitch." She assures me with a smile.

"Tell your little girlfriend to be ready in 20." She teases as I exit her room.

I quickly text Maya to be over in 20 minutes, and she responds "KK! See you soon! :)"

She even texts cutely with little smiley faces. Could she be more perfect?

The doorbell rings 15 minutes later and I greet Maya with a smile. "Hey." I say as she walks in past me examining the living room.

"This brings back some serious memories." She sighs looking around at everything.

I laugh slightly at that as Lydia walks down the stairs. "Ready to go guys?" she asks holding the keys to her car in her hands.

"Yep…" I say walking toward the door and holding it open as both of the girls walk through it.

"Thank you." Maya says thankfully surprised at my holding the door.

I open the door of the car for her too, and then climb into the passenger's seat as Lydia gives me nudge to tease me without being obvious.

"Cam, you should teach Zig how to be a gentleman. He never holds doors for me, and he's my boyfriend." She giggles humorously.

I sigh annoyed at hearing his name, and I guess it is obvious. "Oh sorry, I forgot you guys were fighting. He told me what happened. He can be a jerk sometimes." She says sympathetically.

I am shocked that the only thing she has to say about him showing naked pictures of her to guys is "he can be a jerk sometimes". He must have lied to her… yet another strike against him.

"What did he tell you?" I ask her curious to what he came up with.

"He told me that he told some girls that you wet the bed until you were 12." She says with an awkward face, and I start laughing in disbelief at the lie he came up with.

"Well, that's mean of him… I'm also pretty sure that Brady is the one who wet the bed. Cam's pretty normal…" Lydia says looking annoyed. She has never liked Zig. She thinks that he treats me like a sidekick which I guess he does, but I've never been a leader anyway. I'm an introvert.

"What's so funny?" Maya asks as I laugh sadistically.

"I just don't know if I can be friends with him anymore…" I say biting my lower lip.

"Come on, Cam. It's not that big of a deal… I'm sure he'll apologize." She adds trying to talk me out of hating him.

"Let's not talk about it…" I say not wanting to accidentally reveal the real reason that I am not talking to him.

We get to the craft store, and pick out what we need while Lydia waits in the car. "Jeez… Took you long enough! What were you guys doing in there?" my sister asks annoyed as we get back into the car.

"Sorry Lydia." Maya tells her sincerely as she drives back to our house.

"Do you want to work on it at my house or yours?" I ask her curiously once we get back to our neighborhood.

"Um… We can do it at your house if that's alright. My mom's in a lot of pain lately with her MS." Maya replies holding the bag of stuff as we walk toward my house.

"It's fine with me." I reply holding the door for her again.

We sit in the basement family room and discuss what we are going to do. The project requires a life-sized drawing of the character with quotes and defining features written around it for each of the required elements.

"I talked to Hailey, and her and Dan are tracing one of them, and the drawing the features in like they were described. Do you want to do that?" Maya asks me with a smile as she looks over the rubric one last time.

"Sure… I guess that will work. I'm not much of an artist though so I hope you are ready to do a lot of the drawing." I tell her awkwardly.

"Well, I know that you can't draw so I expected it… Also, if we are doing this tracing thing I have to trace you because I doubt Jack has huge hips and just an overall awkward girl shape." She frowns.

I want to tell her that she is beautiful, and that she shouldn't be insecure about her body at all, but I know that it would just be a repeat of the "You're not flat chested" thing so I keep my mouth shut, and frown sympathetically.

"Okay… Do you want to trace me now then?" I ask her curiously.

"Sure… Might as well get it done." She responds getting the large poster boards we bought and taping them together carefully.

I lay down on the posters, and she takes a pencil and carefully traces my body onto it.

"How we doin?" she asks as she traces my head, and looks carefully at the paper making sure to not make any mistakes.

"Fine…" I reply looking up at her. A smile comes to my face as she bites her lip and realizes she made a mistake. She quickly erases it, and moves on to my arms starting with the one closer to her, and then leaning over me to get to the other one.

When she's tracing my legs I feel incredibly awkward. I know that she is tracing me, but goodness why does she have to be so close to my crotch. It makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, and I'm forced to think of gross things in hopes that nothing happens down there.

She just barely grazes my inner thigh with her hand, but she quickly says "Sorry." Knowing that her hand as well as her pencil is extremely close to certain parts…

When she finishes tracing me I get up, and look at what she had drawn. "Good job!" I tell her with a smile, and she smiles back at me with gratitude.

"Since you aren't an artist do you want to start finding characterizing quotes from the book?" she asks me as she starts to draw in the boy's red hair, and other features.

"Yeah… sure." I respond flipping through the book looking for passages that characterize the boy.

We get about halfway done with the project when Maya insists we take a break. She walks around the family room examining picture frames as well as just looking at what has changed in my house.

"Oh my god is this us?" she asks pointing to a picture of my 7th birthday party in a frame. "I was such a dorky kid." She says looking closer at the picture of us smiling side by side with party hats.

"No you weren't." I sigh getting up and looking at the picture that I hadn't noticed in quite a while.

"I totally was. Look at those wire frame glasses. They're terrible." She groans looking at the picture where we are both missing teeth and her hair is in pig tails.

"I think we were adorable children." I add sarcastically laughing at the picture.

"We used to hang out all the time when we were younger. What happened?" she asks looking at me.

I sigh loudly knowing exactly what it was. "You started thinking that we were gross boys in 6th grade when you met Tori in middle school, and then in 9th grade Zig asked you out and you said yes. You talked to him and not me... Now I'm just the perpetual third wheel." I tell her knowing that she wasn't looking for a response.

"Oh… I wish we would have stayed closer. You were like my best friend all through grade school." She says looking at the picture obviously reminiscing in our past.

"Yeah… me too" I sigh not knowing what else to say.

"Do you remember that time we went camping in your back yard with Lydia and Katie when we were like 9, and your dad came out and told us scary stories?" she asks laughing at the memory.

"How could I ever forget that? He told us the one about a ghost that came out on summer nights and occupied our backyard, and you got super paranoid. You wouldn't let go of my hand all night. You were so gullible." I tell her thinking of that night, and my dad.

"Do you miss him?" she asks me sympathetically.

I nod sadly as I remember other times I spent with my father.

"I'm sorry, Cam. I didn't mean to bring him up." She says regretfully.

"It's fine… I like thinking about the good times." I tell her taking a deep breath, and wiping away a tear that was welling in my eye.

She takes me by surprise when she wraps her arms around me embracing me in a hug. "I'm sorry that I wasn't here for you when everything happened." She whispers understandingly as she rubs my back trying to comfort me. It feels nice to be this close to her… I missed hanging out with her.

"It's okay. I doubt I would have talked to you anyway. I didn't talk to anyone that year except for my therapist." I tell her once she lets go of the hug.

"We should probably get back to the project." I say pointing to the half finished project on the floor.

"I don't know, Cam. My head might explode if we work on it any more today." She groans.

"That is fine with me. I'm sick of reading about little boys on an island with a pig head anyway." I say chuckling slightly.

"Cam, Dinner!" my sister screams down the basement stairs.

"Oh… I guess I should get going. It was nice… working on the project with you." She says awkwardly.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" I ask her curiously not ready for her to leave quite yet.

"I don't want to impose." She says smiling politely.

"You wouldn't… My family loves you, you know that." I tell her reassuringly.

"I don't know, Cam. I feel like it'll be awkward." She tells me biting her lip.

"Come on, My. How could it be awkward? Please…" I beg her jokingly with a wide smile on my face.

"I guess I will, but I don't know why you want me to stay so badly." She laughs walking up the stairs.

"I don't… I just… I don't know. I miss hanging out with you." I say awkwardly not wanting to tell her that I want her to stay because I just happen to be in love with her.

I follow her up the stairs and to the dining room where my family is sitting eating dinner. "Mom, can Maya stay for dinner?" I ask her with a smile, and she nods happily.

"Of course she can. Maya is always welcome." My mom says gesturing for us to sit down at the table. Maya sits next to me at the table and catches up with my family.

"How does your sister like Stanford?" my mother asks her curiously.

"She loves it. She doesn't talk too much about it, but she says that she's having a blast." Maya tells my mom as she takes a bite of the chicken that my mom had made.

"Mrs. Saunders, this chicken is amazing." Maya compliments my mother politely.

"Well, thank you Maya. I'm glad you like it." She replies gratefully.

After dinner Maya's dad calls her to come home, and I walk her to the door. "So, when do you want to finish the project?" I ask her as we walk out into the dusk and quiet neighborhood.

"Whenever is good for you. I'm free tomorrow and Wednesday so either would work, or both if we don't finish." She says as she walks backward on the pathway to the sidewalk.

"Cool, tomorrow it is. See you at school, Maya!" I tell her waving nicely.

"Yeah… See you tomorrow… And Cam?" she says from her doorstep about 20 feet from mine.

"Yeah?" I ask curiously. "I had a lot of fun today. We should start hanging out again. I miss it." She smiles as she goes into her house.

That night despite how annoying my brother was being I couldn't wipe the smile from my face. She is my dream girl, and she wants to hang out again.

Sure, she's Zig's girlfriend, but he doesn't deserve her. Heck, I don't deserve her. She's smart, beautiful, sweet, trustworthy, and everything I will ever want in a girl.

**Hope you like this chapter. It's pretty cute if you ask me. It's cute in the friendly way! Anyway, remember to review... 9 and I'll update**


	5. Chapter 5

**I love you guys so much! Thanks for reading and favoriting and following and reviewing. Your lovely reviews make my day happier. You are the reason I write! Anyway, here is chapter 5. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

Zig apologizes to me for disrespecting Maya and tells me that he was stupid and that I was right. I tell him to make sure he deletes the pictures from his phone, and he says that he did it last night.

"So dude, we cool?" he asks holding his hand out to do our handshake that we started doing in grade 4.

"I guess so." I smile doing the handshake with the guy who had made me so angry just the day before.

"Good!" he smiles as we get back to listening to Mr. B's chemistry lesson.

Afterschool I meet with Zig and Maya to walk home, and as soon as Zig greets me at my locker Maya grins excitedly while clapping.

"Did you guys kiss and makeup?" she jumps up and down giddily.

"We're friends again if that's what you're asking." I tell her as I close my locker.

"Yay!" she squeals enthusiastically. "My two favorite guys made up!" she continues.

We start toward our homes, and the three of us talk… It's different than usual. I don't feel like a third wheel nearly as much because they don't walk in front of me or behind me holding hands like usual. It feels like old times almost… I mean like 5th grade old times before anyone had feelings for each other.

"Cam, you wanna hang today? We could go to the skate park. It's pretty nice out." Zig suggests gleefully.

"Sorry babe, Cam has plans with me tonight." Maya tells him nudging his arm, and Zig raises his eyebrow confusedly.

"Since when do you guys hang out without me?" he asks curiously.

"We used to hang out without you all the time!" Maya says smiling at both of us.

"Yeah, before we started dating. I don't know if I'm okay with this." He includes looking at us strangely.

"Ziggy, we're friends. Don't be silly." She tells him as if the thought of us doing anything was the craziest thing she had ever heard.

"We were just friends at one point too." He adds looking at her a bit annoyed.

"Dude, we have a project in LA. That's the only reason we are hanging out." I assure not wanting them to start fighting about it.

"And, Cam is like my brother, and I love you, Ziggybear!" she tells him with a smile leaning on her tippy toes and pecking his lips.

Honestly, I had heard her say those words to him a total of 4 times, and each time it hurt more than the last. Knowing that she actually feels for him the way I feel for her hurts to think about. Also, their kissing made me feel like a third wheel again which sucks.

"Okay…" he smiles awkwardly yet sincerely as we make it to his home.

Maya and I continue down the street to our homes and Maya tells me. "I'm gonna grab a snack, and check on my mom. I'll be over in like 10!" she says as she continues to her house. "Kay" I smile walking into my home where my sister is already home.

Lydia is sitting on the living room couch flipping through channels when she looks at me with a grin moving her eyebrows up and down teasingly.

"So, you and Maya… are you guys going somewhere?" she asks winking at me.

"Lydia, you suck! We are hanging out because of the project. She's still dating Zig even if he is an ass!" I tell my sister annoyed.

"Why is he an ass all of a sudden? I mean I have always known, but you are friends with him." She says questioningly.

"I'll tell you later." I tell her annoyed that she is teasing me about it. I can't believe I told my sister about it. I know that she's already told Katie, and it's only a matter of time before Katie tells her sister.

When Maya rings the doorbell we head back downstairs to where our project sits unfinished.

"Let's finish this bitch!" Maya proclaims excitedly clapping and then rubbing her hands together.

Did I just hear Maya Matlin swear? This can't be right… I think to myself as I try to contain my laughter. That word sounds so strange and unfamiliar coming from her mouth that I can't help but giggle.

"What?" she asks me curiously once she notices that I'm laughing at her.

"You shouldn't swear…" I tell her still chuckling to myself as we start where we left off.

"Why not? You guys swear…" she comments accusingly.

"I know. It just sounds weird coming from you." I mention opening the book and looking for another quote.

"Yeah? Is it because I'm a girl because that's sexist?" She jokes as she starts working on writing another quote I had found onto the project.

"No. You're just too cute to swear. I don't know. I guess you look too innocent. " I tell her laughing, but stopping as soon as a reason she is not innocent pops into my head.

"I am not innocent!" she says sounding offended

"I didn't say you are. I said you look innocent." I comment starting the project again.

"You're so weird!" she adds writing again.

We work on the project in silence until Maya starts again "So, I think I need a potty break." She says standing up.

"You know where it is." I tell her with a slight grin as she heads up the stairs.

When she comes back down she sits on the couch instead of where the project is, and I look at her curiously.

"No more work. This project is so annoying!" she groans sadly.

"It's not that bad. We're almost done." I say getting up and sitting on the opposite end of the couch. "No more!" she says with a tiredly in my direction.

"Alright." I agree not wanting to annoy her.

There is an awkward silence between the two of us for a few minutes before Maya says "Remember that time you, Zig, and I were outside on your swing set, and I dared you to climb the tree, and you fell out and broke your arm?" she asks giggling.

"Yep…" I say looking at my arm that has a scar from the incident.

"I'm sorry about that!" she responds looking at me with a sincere smile.

"No big deal. It was years ago… I was stupid for doing it in the first place." I laugh. "Also, your face when I fell was priceless. I could tell you felt terrible." I joke, and she laughs slightly.

"How about the time Zig pushed you off of the trampoline and you twisted your ankle the day before your big soccer game?" I chuckle knowing how angry she got.

"Oh my god, I wanted to kill him! I swear that's the reason we didn't get to go to play offs!" she claims cutely.

"Who would've thought back then that I would ever be in love with Zig? He used to make me so mad!" she says humorously.

There goes that word again. The word that makes me hate my best friend. I wish she knew what he did yesterday… She would never say she loves him again… I even consider telling her, but remind myself that if I do she will be hurt, and Zig will hate me.

Honestly, Zig would hate me if he knew how I felt about Maya or how much I think about her on any given day. I feel like a terrible person whenever I think about her, but at the same time I can't help myself. She's amazing.

"I don't think anyone thought you would date him." I mention not wanting to think about them together anymore.

"When Zig and I first started going out my sister told me that I should dump him and date you." She laughs hysterically, and I think about how I wish I was the one to ask her out. I started liking her in 6th grade, and never told anyone. Then one day Zig told me that he thought she was hot, and decided that he was going to ask her out. I should have told him last year when it happened that I didn't want him to, and I would've if I thought she would say yes to him.

"Isn't that the silliest thing you've ever heard? I mean you're like my brother. We grew up together." She giggles, and I get more discouraged.

"Yeah… that's the craziest thing I've ever heard." I say in a monotone as convincing as I possibly can. "We should get back to work. I want to get this done."

"ugh... fine." She moans dejectedly sliding off of the couch, and getting back to the project.

We work diligently for another hour, and get the poster done. "Finally finished!" she says excitedly looking at the finished project with a bright smile.

"I think we did a pretty damn good job!" she applauds admiring her work.

"Yeah... " I say smiling awkwardly kind of sad that we are finished and we won't get to hang out anymore.

"So, I should probably be heading home… I'll see you at school tomorrow!" she says happily grabbing her purse from the couch.

"Alright. Seeya!" I tell her with a small smile.

"Oh wait. I forgot to ask you. Are you going to Dan's party on Friday night?" she asks me curiously coming back down the stairs and standing next to the couch.

"I don't know yet. Are you guys going?"

"I can't. I'm going out of town, but Zig really wants to go. You should go with him. Caroline is supposed to be going!" she teases raising her eyebrows up and down with a grin.

"Oh! Yeah. I Guess I have to go. I can't get enough Caroline!" I say as confidently as possible, but it comes across as awkward.

I had forgotten that I chose Caroline as the girl I "Like" until Maya said that, and now I'm kind of nervous that I blew this lie… I suck at lying… I always have, and if there is one person who knows that it's Maya.

"I thought you said I shouldn't like a girl with a boyfriend?" I add trying to calm myself down.

"Do you know nothing, Cam? I heard from Kyla who heard from Hailey that Allen made out with Jen. It's all over school. There is no way she'll stay with him, and you're an attractive guy. You totally have a shot." She tells me with an excited smile.

"Oh… sweet!" I say with a giddy smirk not being able to get the fact that Maya just called me attractive out of my head.

"Yep, it's going to be adorable. Go for it, Cammy!" she says from the stairs snapping her fingers and then pointing at me with a wink.

"Never call me 'Cammy' again please." I comment furrowing my eyebrows.

"Oh, does it bug you? Looks like you have a new nickname, Cammy!" she calls lightheartedly.

"Okay… then you won't mind if I call you Chicken cutlet would you?" I ask all in good humor.

She looks at me in disbelief shaking her head. "Maya, I'm sorry." I say feeling bad about it after I realized how she reacted.

"I really didn't mean to be a jerk. I was joking." I tell her hoping that I didn't offend her too badly.

"I hate you!" she comments in a serious tone and my heart drops. "Maya, I'm so sorry." I utter out feeling terrible about what I had said. I knew how much that nickname bothered her when the seniors on the hockey team gave it to her last year, and yet I still brought it up. I'm a bad person.

"Oh my god Cam, you should have seen your face!" she laughs pointing at me while she cracks up. I exhale the deep breath that I didn't know I was holding, and shake my head at her.

"You little… ugh. You scared me!" I groan starting to chuckle at her giggling and coming toward her throwing her petite frame over my shoulder.

"Put me down!" she squeals squirming in my arms. "Nope!" I say starting to tickle her right side with my free hand. Maya has always been super ticklish, and as soon as my hand makes contact with her side she squirms 10 times worse causing me to drop her onto the couch not stopping the tickling.

"Cam, stop it. Come on! I'm serious. Quit!" She calls through the laughing spat that she can't control.

"Nope!" I say continuing to tickle her sides as she squirms on the couch. "I can't breathe!" she yells through her intense laughter, and I decide that I better stop.

I stop tickling her only to realize that we are kind of in a compromised position. I am hovering above her with my knee between her legs as she lies on the couch heaving heavily trying to catch her breath. I look down at her and our eyes meet. I feel a connection to her instantly, and she stares into my eyes continuing to catch her breath.

She smiles up at me sweetly, and I feel an overwhelming urge to kiss her. I go for it… I lean down closing my eyes, and our lips barely graze when she pushes me off of her forcefully.

"What are you doing?" she asks shocked with wide eyes as I stumble backwards trying to regain my balance.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that." I tell her apologetically thinking about the huge mistake I just made.

She stands up with her jaw dropped looking at me with surprised eyes. "Where did that even come from?" she asks confusedly.

"I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I just… I don't know. I'm so sorry." I add shaking uncontrollably feeling awful for what I did. Zig's my best friend, and I tried to kiss his girlfriend.

"Can you please tell me why you just tried to kiss me?" she asks me a bit angrily.

"I don't know, Maya. I'm sorry." I say once again not knowing what else to tell her. I honestly don't know what brought me to try and kiss her, and I regret it a ton. Why are you such an idiot, Cam?

"Cam, I don' know what I did to make you think that that was okay, but I'm sorry. It's not. I'm in love with Zig. I will never have non platonic feelings for you so… Yeah. I'm gonna go." She says grabbing her purse again and going to leave.

"Please don't tell him!" I tell her as she goes up the stairs my voice cracking several times due to my nervousness.

"I won't. I'm not stupid. I'll see you at school." She says sadly as she walks out. Once I am sure Maya is out of the house I lose it.

"I'm such a fucking idiot." I yell throwing the TV remote at the wall watching it shatter into a mess of circuits and plastic.

I feel my eyes welling with tears and grab a glass knickknack off of the side table and pelt it at the wall behind me.

"Woah!" Lydia says frightened as she comes down the stairs barely missing the glass shards reflecting off of the wall.

"Calm down, Cam!" she yells with a scared look on her face as she walks down the stairs avoiding the broken glass sprawled across the floor.

"I fucked up!" I tell her as I start pacing across the floor worriedly pulling at my hair.

She comes over to me and turns me around to face her and puts both hands on my shoulders. "Take a deep breath!" she instructs me, and I do.

"Now calm down…" she continues holding my shoulders. "I'm calm" I say taking another deep breath. "Okay, now what happened?" she asks me curiously.

"I'm an idiot that's what happened. I tried to freaking kiss her and she got all freaked out and left." I groan miserably explaining my incredibly terrible situation to my big sister.

"She was more than freaked out. She was bawling her eyes out when she walked out." My sister tells me sympathetically.

"What the fuck did I do? I moan sadly falling onto the couch.

"I don't know, kid. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you wanted them to." My sister says compassionately.

"I tried to kiss my best friends girlfriend! I ruined any chance I had of being friends with Maya! And, I just wanna kill myself!" I whimper sadly.

"Don't joke about that, Cam!" Lydia freaks out at me. "I'm not joking. I want to die!" I tell her throwing my head over the back of the couch.

"Cam, I'm serious. Stop saying shit like that!" she says sternly starting to get upset with me.

"Fine! I'm not going to die! I'm just really upset. How am I going to look either of them in the eye tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I guess you should have thought about that before you tried to kiss her… Tell me what happened." She demands wanting details.

"Well, I called her Chicken Cutlet, and she got mad, but she wasn't actually mad. She was fake mad, and the she was all 'You should have seen your face!' and then I picked her up and started tickling her, and then she was on the couch and I was on top of her, and we had a moment. She smiled at me, and then I just went for it." I explain quickly to my sister.

"Okay… slow down. Did you kiss her or did she stop you?" she asks inquisitively analyzing the information I had just given her in her head.

"She pushed me off of her before it would be classified as a kiss." I tell my sister sadly.

"I wonder why she was crying. I mean if you had actually kissed her she would be crying because she was guilty, but if she stopped you… I have no idea." She adds still thinking about it.

"I'm so stupid!" I whine one last time before my sister looks at me and tells me "No you're not. You like her… Why don't we get this cleaned up before mom gets home?" she asks with a small grin comfortingly.

She helps me clean up the remains of both the remote and mom's favorite knickknack before mom get's home. I apologize to my mother for freaking out, and she sends me to my room for my "tantrum".

Later that night when Brady comes in to go to bed he acts like a total brat. "Haha! You're grounded!" he laughs annoyingly.

"Haha! You're an asshole and I hate you!" I reply back lying in my bed next to his.

"I'm telling mom you called me the A word!" he says snottily.

"Yeah? And I'll tell mom about you watching porn on the internet!" I tease meanly not being able to handle his shit right now.

He looks at me with a scared expression and I continue "Learn how to clear your browsing history, idiot!" I say irritated. It shuts him up the rest of the night and I am able to get a bit of sleep once I take one of my sisters Benadryl's. Luckily they're pretty much like a sleeping pill to me…

**OMG! You're so mad at me! Why couldn't she just reciprocate the feelings! You shall see! Also, I'm upping the ante... 10 reviews to update. Good job getting 9 done in 24 hours. That's impressive!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! I am so happy with the response to the last chapter... Just a warning... This one's kind of cray. I hope you like it. Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.**

Maya and I avoid each other for the rest of the week which is hard to do considering we have 2 classes together and sit at the same table at lunch. Luckily, Zig is kind of clueless and didn't notice that we weren't talking. Leave it to Zig to not notice anything wrong with either of us. I swear he is the most clueless person on the planet even if he is my best friend.

Our project itself got a decent grade, but the presenting was kind of shaky. We didn't talk about it before hand due to the fact that we were avoiding each other, and it ended up being quite a train wreck.

Tonight is the night of Dan's party, and I am about to walk the 6 blocks to his house with Zig.

"Yo, you ready?" he asks me curiously as he steps into my room where I am just combing my hair quickly.

"Dude, you are not going dressed like that!" the guy in dark jeans and a dress shirt tells me annoyed as he looks at the t-shirt and jeans that I am wearing.

"I'm pretty sure it's casual." I tell him furrowing my eyebrows as I look down at what I am wearing.

"Think about the ladies, man! Do you think you'll get any dressed like a slob?" he asks as if it should have been obvious.

"I'm not looking to get laid, dude. I don't even want to go." I add rolling my eyes at Zig.

"Dude, just change!" he tells me walking out of the room and closing the door behind him.

I change out of my plain gray crewneck, and into a black and red plaid button up before walking out of my room, and going down the stairs to where Zig is waiting in the living room talking to my little ass head brother.

"Ready!" I say grabbing my jacket and heading out the door with Zig following behind.

We walk to the party, and see that the house is already pretty busy. Zig walks in front of me and opens the front door with a smile across his face greeting people he knows as he walks through to the living room with me following hesitantly behind.

I don't do well in social situations. I'm awkward, and I dislike crowds, so by the size of this party I can tell that tonight is not going to be fun for me.

The majority of people here are people I barely talk to or have seen walking around the halls from time to time. The only people I actually know seem to be Zig, Dan, Gabby, and Henry. I guess I can't forget Tori who's here, but completely avoiding me.

I stand awkwardly in the crowded kitchen making small talk with my friend/ acquaintance, Gabby when Zig hands me a beer.

"Drink up big boy!" he says smiling as he walks away from me and into the living room.

I look at the already opened beer and say "what the hell" before taking a sip of the disgustingly bitter liquid, and spitting it back into the bottle immediately only to notice Gabby laughing at me hysterically.

"Not much of a drinker?" she asks giggling as I shake my head. "Not ever actually" I reply grinning at the brown haired girl who I have 3 classes with.

"Here… try this" she says handing me her red solo cup. "What is it?" I ask looking at the brown liquid inside.

"Captain and coke" she replies taking the beer from my hand and setting it on the counter behind her.

I sip the drink skeptically only to realize that it tastes like vanilla coke with a slight burn as it goes down my throat.

"I cough slightly at the burn after swallowing and hand the drink back to her. "Tastes better! Burns more!" I laugh as she takes the cup back.

"You want a weaker one?" she asks curiously turning to the counter where there are a bunch of bottles of all sorts of stuff.

"Sure…" I reply tentatively knowing that I really shouldn't be drinking… I'm 16, and I have a history of substance abuse in my family. It's probably not the best idea.

A few seconds later the short girl turns around and hands me a cup full of the brown beverage.

"Less burn?" the familiar girl asks as I take a sip, and notice that it's a lot less in your face.

"Yeah… Thanks" I add casually. "No problem." She says smiling and waving it off.

"So, I'm pretty sure Mr. Munster would be disappointed in us." I laugh referring to our health and gym teacher who just gave a lecture about underage alcohol consumption earlier in the week.

"Mr. Munster went to high school with my dad. Apparently, dude was wasted like all the time. 3 syllables Hyp-o-crite." She jokes, and I laugh.

"Hey Cam, I didn't know you were coming tonight!" Henry hollers from across the living room doorway.

"hey Henry." I greet the obviously buzzed tall16 year old as he walks over to Gabby and I.

"Hey Gab… Lookin good!" he tells the girl who he towers by at least a foot and a half while looking at her and her kind of low cut top quite creepily.

"Henry… how many drinks have you had?" I ask him curiously, and he holds up 2 fingers.

"Really?" I ask not believing him as he observes his hand intently.

"I also may have smoked a joint before I came." He laughs thinking his hand is the most hilarious thing in the world.

"Oh…" I laugh looking at Gabby who is giving the normally nice boy a look of disbelief.

"Cam, you want to go down to the basement?" she asks me obviously wanting to get away from my friend Henry.

"Sure…" I comment as she grabs my arm and pulls me down the steps to a fully finished basement equipped with a stereo blaring music and a pool table being played by some kids. She pulls me through the main room to another one with a couch that is void of people.

We sit down and talk for a while, and before you know it my first alcohol induced buzz causes me to tell her everything. I tell her about the pictures of Maya that Zig showed people, I tell her about how I've liked Maya since 6th grade, how much I enjoyed hanging out with her again, and lastly I tell her that I tried to kiss her.

"Awe, Cam." she sighs sadly for me. "I had no idea that your love life was so complicated." She laughs tenderly putting her hand on my knee and letting it linger for a bit longer than is appropriate.

I smile at her awkwardly as her hand moves up to my thigh. I lift her hand off of my leg and put it on the couch not feeling comfortable with the contact, and she gives me a flirty smile.

"Um… Gabby… I just told you that I'm in love with Maya" is what I should have said, but nope. My alcohol clouded judgment caused me to actually want her.

She swings her leg that is hanging off of the side of the couch around my legs and straddles me before gently moving my chin upward so that I face her.

She leans her lips toward mine and presses them up against mine, and I actually reciprocate. I gulp loudly the moment she pulls away from the first kiss, and she grins down at me.

"You're cute when you're nervous." She tells me with a slight giggle before leaning back down and kissing me again this time with more force.

This time when she comes up for air I have a rush of morality and decide that I can't do this.

"Gabby, can you get off of me?" I ask her anxiously, and she looks down at me curiously. "This is just getting fun" she says leaning down and trying to kiss me again. I turn my head causing her to kiss m cheek instead, and I continue.

"I can't do this. We'll both regret it later." I say to her nervously trying my best to get it through to her.

"I won't regret anything." She says going for my neck this time.

Jeesh… she won't take no for an answer. She doesn't know how hard it is for me to be trying to reject her right now. She is really pretty, and really nice, and smart usually… I wouldn't normally peg her as the type to get drunk at parties and make out with guys she usually wouldn't like, but here she is on top of me sucking on my neck.

She runs her hands down my chest as she kisses my neck, and I find myself not wanting to fight her again.

Come on, Cam. Just have a little fun. Maya doesn't like you anyway… I battle in my head before I notice a bit of a growing problem.

She Pulls away from my neck and blushes. "I guess you like that." she says with a red face as she giggles slightly.

"I'm sorry. This is embarrassing." I say nervously really wanting to just be home right now and away from this mortification.

"Don't be. It's flattering… Do you want me to help you out with that?" she asks me flirtatiously and I find myself getting even more anxious. My hands are getting sweaty and shaking.

Is she really offering that? She really isn't who I thought she was… Gabby at school is so sweet and innocent.

"No thank you." I say trying to get my mind off of how a hot girl is on top of me right now.

"Can you actually get off of me please?" I ask her politely and nervously not really understanding the protocol here

"You're no fun!" she groans getting off of me finally. I quickly cover myself with my jacket and try my best to think of something that will get me out of the mood.

"I'm sorry, Gabby. You're really pretty and I like you, but… I really like Maya, even if she's dating Zig. It doesn't feel right." I tell her anxiously.

She starts laughing at me, and I don't know what to say. "You're a really good guy. She's lucky to have you for when she realizes Zig is a douche." She tells me with a smile.

"I doubt she will ever want to be with me… I'm not smooth like Zig." I sigh sadly.

"Cam, in all honesty you are so much more charming than Zig and way more adorable." She compliments with a small grin causing me to blush.

"Thanks, but I know that I'm awkward." I say looking around the room uncomfortably.

"It's endearing and it works for you." She smiles at me.

"No hard feelings?" I ask referring to me rejecting her as I hold a hand out to shake hers.

"Nah. We're fine! I understand. You're in love… Sorry for coming on to you." She apologizes awkwardly.

"No worries… I'm gonna go see if I can't find Zig." I tell her standing up and walking out of the room looking down to make sure that I am okay again.

I walk around looking for my friend and notice him coming out of a bedroom upstairs with his hair a mess, and one of the buttons on his shirt on the wrong loop. Coming out after him was Tori, and I realize at that moment what must have happened in that room.

No he fucking didn't hook up with Tori. He wouldn't be that stupid. I walk up to him irritated, and he smiles dumbly at me.

"Hey Cam, what's up?" he asks slurring his words. He's fucking drunk… "Please tell me you didn't just sleep with Tori!" I say accusingly at him.

He looks around to Tori who is now on the other side of the room, and he nods his head. "I totally did, man!" he laughs happily.

"What the hell man!" I ask pushing him into the wall. "What… do you like her now?" he asks continuing to slur.

"What about Maya?" I ask him angrily wanting to hurt him for cheating on her.

"She's in Ottawa. She'll never know." He says stumbling slightly.

I shake my head at him in disbelief. He really is an ass. "All of these people saw you walk out of there. Someone's gonna tell her, and who knows… it might be me." I yell at him pushing him into the wall again.

"You're not gonna tell her." He mumbles steadying himself by putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Really… What's stopping me?" I ask him forcefully pushing his hand off of me.

"Because you care about her." He tells me and my heart falls. Does he know that I'm in love with his girlfriend? No of course not. He's Zig. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

"You know it would hurt her, and you love her too much to hurt her." He mumbles shakily.

Shit. Maybe I don't give him enough credit.

"You think I don't see the way you look at her, but I do." He adds laughing.

I frown at him guiltily, and he smirks at me. "You're not gonna tell her." He adds poking me in the chest.

"This is too much, Zig. This is the worst thing you've ever done. I'm going to tell her." I say angrily.

"She still won't like you." He laughs, and I think about it. Although he is probably right I think that she deserves to know.

"It's sad really. You're supposed to be my best friend, and you are trying to steal my girlfriend." He mentions laughing inappropriately.

I swallow loudly, and look at him angrily. "I'm not going to tell her so that she wants me. I'm going to tell her cause you're an asshole, and you don't deserve her." I say nervously through gritted teeth.

"Did I deserve her when I fucked her last week?" he whispers satisfied with himself into my ear with breath that reeks of beer.

"You didn't!" I shout at him. "I did, and you know what? It was awesome!" he slurs.

"You want to punch me. I can tell." He adds staring down at me. "What is it, Cam? Are you mad that I fucked my girlfriend?" He asks slurring.

"She loved it too!" he adds smirking stupidly. My anger toward my former best friend rises and I lift my already clenched fist and connect it forcefully with his face. He falls back and everyone looks at me with shocked faces.

"I'm telling her!" I shout at the obviously dizzy boy on the floor before stomping out of the house angrily.

I walk home and eventually the adrenaline rush ends and I am left with an extremely sore hand, and all of my angry feelings.

He's known that I like her this entire time… He's a manipulative asshole. He must not care about Maya at all. He cheated on her and with her best friend none the less.

Was he telling the truth about having sex with Maya? I really hope not…

He must not care about me either. He knows how I feel about her, and he just said some terrible things to me.

I get home, and my sister and her friend Alli are sitting in the living room watching a movie.

"Hey Cam! How was the party?" she asks me curiously with a smile.

"Terrible!" I reply angrily walking into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

"What happened?" she shouts from the living room and I walk back in and sit on the chair sadly with my water.

"A lot of shit!" I add sadly taking a sip of water.

"Like?" she continues concerned moving to the edge of the couch anxiously awaiting my response.

"Zig knows that I like Maya… He hooked up with her best friend at the party… He said some terrible things and I punched him in the face." I tell my sister and Alli sadly.

Alli looks confused and Lydia leans over saying… "It's a long story."

"So… You're gonna tell her what happened right?" my sister asks me curiously.

"Yeah…" I say sadly. "You should call her now!" my sister says excitedly.

"Are you kidding? I can't call her tonight. She's at a wedding. I don't want her to have a terrible weekend because she decided to date a terrible person." I reply annoyed taking another sip of water.

"After the week we've had I doubt she'll even answer. She hates me…" I tell my sister sadly looking down at the floor.

"I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow guys!" I say as I walk up the stairs dejectedly.

**told you it was crazy. Anyway... Review, fav, follow, and all that jazz. I will not put a specific number of reviews in for this update because you guys did 10 way too fast and I can't keep up. How about this... I will not update as soon as I have 12 reviews, but I won;t update until there are at least that many. I'll try my best to update quickly, but I have a busy weekend ahead of me!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi or any other show mentioned (The Walking Dead)**

"Campbell Ernest Saunders, get down here right now!" my mom calls angrily up the stairs.

Crap… What did I do? Is she mad about the knickknack from the other day? The remote? I think to myself as I rush down the stairs anxiously awaiting my inevitable punishment.

"Why is Mrs. Novak calling me to tell me you punched Zig?" she asks furiously.

Well shit… That's so much worse than the stupid glass angel that she got from a craft fair. I'm looking at some serious punishment here.

"Mom, he deserved it. You should have heard some of the things he was saying to me. He was drunk out of his mind, and I couldn't handle it." I say desperately hoping she goes easy on me.

"Drunk? There was drinking at this party?" she asks crossing her arms over her chest and looking at me disappointed.

I look around the room avoiding my mother's brutal stare. "Campbell?"

"Yeah, but…" is all I get out before my mom asks "Were you drinking?"

"No." I reply anxiously scratching the back of my head.

"Well, what did Zig do that made you feel the appropriate response was to punch him?" she questions.

What do I tell her? I doubt my reasons will sound just to her… and I don't exactly want my mother knowing that I associate with sexually active teenagers…

"He hurt Maya!" I tell her through gritted teeth unable to get him and Tori walking out of that room out of my head.

"What do you mean? Physically? Do I need to talk to Mrs. Matlin?" she asks concerned and I quickly shake my head knowing that despite how terrible Zig has treated Maya, he would never lay a hand on her. If he did that I would probably kill him.

"No… he would never do that." I tell her with a frown.

"Then I'm sorry, Campbell, but fighting is unacceptable behavior. You're grounded!" she tells me seeming a bit more sympathetic than before. Thank goodness that my mother has always loved Maya.

"Okay…" I say sadly going up the stairs to my bedroom where I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling.

I get my silenced phone out of my pocket and notice that I have a missed call from Maya. Why would she be calling me? I was planning on calling her today anyway… I should probably call her back. Since she was trying to get a hold of me she might even answer.

I press the call button, and the phone starts ringing. "What is wrong with you?" Maya yells as she answers the phone.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her confusedly.

"You punched Zig because you like me! What the hell is your problem?" she asks me in an exasperated and distraught voice.

I sigh at the fact that Zig called her before I got the chance. She's never going to believe me.

"That's not why I punched him!" I tell her sadly.

"Save it! Zig told me everything. I'm sorry if you are like obsessed with me, but I don't like you like that. I'm actually really freaked out right now. Can you please just leave us alone?" she begs miserably.

"I'm not obsessed with you, and I can guarantee that whatever he told you was a lie. I doubt he even remembers last night. He was drunk off of his ass, and he cheated on you!" I tell her irritated and not understanding why she believes a thing that comes out of Zig's mouth.

"Now this is just getting ridiculous. I'm sorry I don't like you. Don't lie to me to make me break up with Zig!" she shouts not believing me.

"I'm not lying, Maya." I tell her after swallowing loudly. I can't believe that she doesn't believe me. I have never lied to her, and I never would.

"Just stop, Cam, and don't talk to me ever again. Please." She begs desperately sounding as if she is worn out from all of the drama.

"Okay… Sorry." I fold feeling bad that her weekend in Ottawa is probably ruined. "Have fun at the wedding."

"You are so weird!" she groans angrily before hanging up.

It's official… Maya hates me. I knew she was mad after the attempted kiss, but she's furious now. How is she so naïve? She believes everything he tells her, and it makes no sense.

Love is blind and she must really think she loves him… Of course she does. Maya would never do it with someone she wasn't certain about. I don't think she would…

Who am I even kidding? I don't know her as well as I think I do. I put her on a pedestal, and she will never live up to my expectations. I should have just left it alone.

She's obviously not as smart as I thought she was. She believes all of Zig's lies… He's such an ass!

I sit in my room thinking about how screwed up everything is for the rest of the weekend… Grounded life is the good life… You get to wallow in all of your mistakes while you do absolutely nothing.

I wake up Monday morning at 4 am to the crash of thunder outside my window. It startles me, and shakes the entire house. I look over at Brady, and wonder how he is still sleeping soundly after such a loud crash.

I try for nearly an hour to get back to bed, but the weather outside is just not permitting that. It seems that every few seconds there is a flash of lightening, and thunder roaring in the following moments.

I start down the stairs only for the power to go out when I am halfway down. Okay… how many more steps until I am at the landing? I carefully make my way down the remaining steps, and of course don't fall until the last step.

Nice going, Cam… I think as I stand up on the carpeted floor, and make my way to the kitchen careful to not run into anything. I look for the flashlight in the junk drawer, but instead reach in and get stabbed by thumb tacks.

"Damn it" I wince shaking my hand to relieve the subtle prick pain. Reaching in with my other hand I find the flashlight and click it on. The first thing I look at is my hand which has 4 pricks in my palm where the thumb tacks had protruded my skin.

Using the flashlight, I make my way back up the stairs to my room where I grab my cell phone. 4:17… Ugh… I should probably try and get some sleep. I lay on my bed trying my best to fall back asleep, but can't due to the flashing lightening and rumbling thunder that doesn't seem to settle until nearly 7 when my mom and sister wake up.

At some point the power came back on, but the lights were all off in my room, so I honestly don't know when. I don't even realize it until the hall light flickers on, and the light can be seen from the crack under my door.

We don't go to school until almost 9, and they wake up at6:45… That's insane. The moment the bathroom is open I shower quickly, and then get dressed for school.

Maybe I should start waking up early… Lydia is always in the bathroom putting on makeup and doing her hair when I normally wake up, but I'll actually have a bit of time if I shower right after her while she's picking out her clothes.

I go down stairs at 7:50, and realize that I am ready 10 minutes before I usually wake up, and I've got time to have a bowl of fruit loops with soy milk.

I eat cereal alone at the kitchen table until Brady comes down the stairs in his pajamas and gets his own bowl of cereal groggily. He probably has the best plan when it comes to living with girls. Shower the night before, and wake up as late as possible and still have time for breakfast.

Walking into first period I notice the entire class watching me, and I'm nearly positive that it's because of what I did at the party.

I'm sure that by now everyone knows what happened with me and Zig, and hopefully they know why. I walk to my desk trying my best to avoid the awkward stares that surround me.

Even people who barely know my name are watching me as if I have killed someone when in fact the only thing I did was punch Zig in the face. I sit down, and look at the clock waiting for class to start when Maya walks in and the stares of my peers are diverted to her.

She sits down at her desk in the front of the room next to Tori, and they start talking as if nothing had happened.

I guess she still doesn't know the truth about that night. She might never know.

Gabby sits next to me in her desk, and doesn't say a word to me. Did she hear about what happened?

"Hi" I say turning to look at the girl who I had made out with on Friday. She grins awkwardly at me before lowering her head into a book. No one is going to talk to me today…

Lunch draws around, and I decide that I have had it with the undesired attention that I have been getting all day. Not even thinking twice about it, I chug an entire bottle of milk knowing that it will get me out of the rest of the day.

I sit by myself on the stairs in the cafeteria waiting for my stomach to want to explode, and see Maya and Zig walking hand in hand. His eye is bruised and swollen… and she thinks I did that because I'm obsessed with her.

My stomach starts to make gross regurgitating sounds, and I rush to the trash can making it just in time to lose the contents of my stomach into it.

I stand up wiping my mouth of the vomit with my sleeve, and looking around as people I don't know stare at me concerned.

Mr. Perino who was sitting at a table with a few other teachers walks toward me, and guides me out of the cafeteria and to the nurse's office.

"Nurse Carla, this boy just got sick in the cafeteria." Mr. Perino tells the nurse pointing at me before exiting the office and getting back to his day.

"Okay, what is your last name, honey?" she asks me curiously as I try and recover from the sick feeling in my stomach that I caused.

"Saunders" I respond tensely as I start to feel the need to puke again. I rush into the nurse's office bathroom, and puke up the remaining lactose beverage in my stomach into the toilet before flushing.

I rinse my mouth out with water from the sink, and walk out feeling kind of exhausted.

"Honey, have a seat right here." She says pointing to a chair and bringing a trash can over to me before bringing over the thermometer and taking my temperature.

"Well, you don't have a fever, but it's probably safe to say that you aren't feeling well. Would you like me to call your mom or dad to come get you?" she asks me nicely as she heads back to her desk.

"I'm guessing you're not Lydia?" she asks clicking on something. "Campbell" I tell her as I sit in the chair regretting my decision to make myself sick. I hate puking. Why would I do that?

"I'll make a call to your mother." The dark haired, dark skinned woman says with a smile before dialing a number on the phone.

"Hello Mrs. Saunders, this is the school nurse at Degrassi. I'm here with Campbell, and he appears to have gotten sick." The woman tells my mother into the phone.

"He vomited twice… It would probably be best for him to go home." She adds into the phone.

"Okay… He'll be in the office when you get here." She tells my mother into the phone before hanging up, and I know that it worked.

"Your mother is on her way. Do you need to go to your locker?" she asks me curiously, and I shake my head slightly signaling that I don't.

"Okay… I'll walk you down to the office." She smiles.

When my mom arrives to come get me she looks more flustered than normal. "Next time you are feeling sick, please tell me in the morning. It's very hard for me to leave work early right now." She tells me distraught as we walk through the pouring rain to the car.

"I'm sorry, mom" I say guiltily feeling bad for making myself sick and causing her to have to come get me.

"I'll just have to drop you off at home. I have a meeting to get to. I'm already late." She tells me as she drives home quickly.

"Will you be okay?" she asks me worriedly, and I nod sadly. I'm stressing my mom out more than ever. I'm a really bad kid too.

I unlock the door as the rain falls hard. It had let up for a few hours, but is now worse again. The second I'm inside I drop my book bag onto the floor, and lay down on the living room couch.

I'm happy that I don't have to face Zig, but I feel really bad about making my mother leave work to bring me home…

"What are you doing home so early?" Brady asks as he walks into the house.

"I got sick. Mom came to get me." I tell him not taking my eyes away from the television where I am watching "The Walking Dead" on Netflix.

"Oh, sucks to be you!" the drenched boy comments rushing up the stairs. He's so annoying…

"Ding" goes the doorbell 20 minutes later. Who could that be? I ask myself as I get off of the couch and open the door.

"Maya? What are you doing here?" I ask the soaking wet girl standing in the rain concernedly. I've never seen her look so rough. Her clothes are drenched and stuck to her skin, her hair is plastered to her face, and her makeup is halfway down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She tells me sadly as the rain continues to fall on her.

"What? Come in!" I tell her not wanting her to get sick by standing in the cold rain for a long period of time.

She enters my house, and I can now tell that she is shivering. She did not dress to be walking home in this weather.

"Now what is going on?" I ask Maya worriedly as she stands on the entry rug dipping wet.

"You were right, and I was a bitch. I'm sorry." She says wiping some of the black liquid under her eyes and smudging it all over her face. She sniffles, and now taking a closer look I can tell that she's crying. Oh, how I hate to see her cry.

"So you know about Zig and Tori?" I question sympathetically ready to hug her if she needs me to.

"He slept with Tori?" she asks her face contorting to one of extreme sadness. I guess she didn't know all of it…

I nod sadly at the fact that I am the one to tell her that her closest friend betrayed her by sleeping with her boyfriend.

"I heard it was Brittany." She cries, and I shake my head. "It was definitely Tori… I'm really sorry." I tell her putting a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her as she starts hyperventilating.

"I'm sorry. This is just big news." She tells me trying to calm herself and stop her tears.

"Why would she do that to me?" she asks hysterically obviously not looking for an answer.

"I can't trust her to be around Zig anymore." She tells me sadly. "What if she tries something again?" she continues distraught.

I'm not sure if it's the way she is wording it or what, but by the sound of it she isn't breaking up with Zig. Why wouldn't she? He is just as at fault as Tori is.

"Are you staying with Zig?" I ask her worriedly, and she nods. "He told me that he was too drunk to remember who it even was. He said she seduced him and he couldn't say no. He told me he was sorry and that it would never happen again." She continues still looking upset.

I can't believe what I am hearing. How does she believe him after that? How is he stringing her along like this?

"Maya, you can't believe that." I comment regretfully trying to talk a little sense into her.

"He wouldn't lie to me. He loves me." She tells me with assurance. She really does believe every word he says.

I sigh loudly wondering how to convince her that she shouldn't stay with him after this.

"He told me last weekend that he thought Tori was hot, and that if he had the chance he would… you know" I tell her tentatively, and she shakes her head not believing me.

She steps away from me. "He wouldn't say that." she adds shaking her head quickly looking slightly hurt.

"He did… and you know those naked pictures you sent him?" I ask her hesitantly knowing she would be upset that I even know about them.

"He told you?" she asks putting a hand over her mouth looking just as mortified as I would have pictured. I shake my head sadly knowing that the truth is a lot worse than him telling me.

"How do you know about that then?" she asks shocked, and looking like she was going to cry again.

"Chewy… he was talking about how Zig showed them to him." I tell her putting my hand on her shoulder again as she starts to get even more embarrassed.

"That's why Zig and I were fighting last week. I freaked out at him and pushed him into his locker." I tell her as she comprehends my words.

Her lower lip starts quivering as she starts to understand what a jerk she is dating. "No… No… No" she repeats over and over putting her hand on her forehead and making her wet hair stick up. "When did I get so stupid?" she questions thinking back at all of the lies she believed.

"You're only boy stupid." I tell her with a slight smirk nudging her arms and trying to lighten the mood a bit. It doesn't work so well. She breaks down into tears again, and I feel that there is no other way to console her than to wrap my arms around her, and let her cry on my shoulder.

"It'll be okay, Maya. You'll always have me." I tell her as she lays her head on my shoulder getting me wet as she wraps her arms around me letting me comfort her.

"Cam?" she asks looking up at me with those sad blue eyes that make my heart melt.

"Yeah?" I ask looking down at her eyes with a small smile. "I'm sorry that I didn't believe you."She says sadly, and I "It's alright. I did lie to you once." I tell her thinking about the day last week.

"What?" she asks curiously looking up at me not pulling away from my embrace. "I don't like Caroline." I tell her chuckling slightly "I kind of figured that when you tried to kiss me." She smiles before finally releasing me, and stepping away.

"I got you all wet." She giggles looking at my now wet t-shirt. "And I got makeup on your shirt… I'm sorry." She apologizes sniffling back her last few tears.

"No big deal. I knew the risks." I smile at her sympathetically. My day has been hard, but hers has definitely been a lot worse. To find out that the person you think you love cheated on you with your best friend is just rough.

**Awe... I know right. They're the cutiest. Thanks for all of the feedback. Keep it up! You have no clue how much it motivates me to write faster. Love you all so much! I hope you like this chapter. 10 reviews until I'm allowed to update... On your mark... Get set... Go! Have a nice day readers. You make my life happy despite how boring my summer is.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

"Shut up! I'm trying to go to sleep!" my brother yells after throwing a pillow at me, and waking me from my uneasy slumber.

I wipe my eyes and realize that I had been crying in my sleep. "Sorry" I tell him as I get out of bed still crying and go across the hall to my sister's room.

I open the door, and she wipes her eyes groggily being woken up by my sniffling. "Cam?" she asks sitting up in her bed. "What's wrong?"

I walk over and sit on the edge of her bed crying as she turns on the side table lamp and lets her eyes adjust to the bright light.

I don't say anything, but instead think of what brought me into Lydia's room at midnight on a school night. It's been years since I've had the dream. I thought I was finally over it, but I guess I'm not.

"What's the matter?" she asks once she grabs her glasses, and notices that I'm crying.

"dad" is all have to say for Lydia to know what's wrong with me. I relived the worst day in my life for the hundredth time.

She quickly swings her legs around, and scoots next to me putting her hand on my back as I cry my eyes out thinking about the horrific nightmare.

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was the week after I turned 13, and I walked home from school only to find that my dad's car was still in the driveway.

I wondered why he was still home, but didn't think too much of it. I figured he had the day off or maybe he was running a bit late. He worked 2nd shift, and usually went to work about 10 minutes before I got home from school.

I unlocked the door, and called "Dad" a few times without hearing a response. I went upstairs to see if he was up there, and maybe couldn't hear me. My parents bedroom was closed, and I figured he was in there changing or something.

"Dad?" I called curiously standing outside the door. Still no answer… I turned the knob only to see something that changed my entire outlook on life.

My dad was lying on the floor in a pool of blood with a gun in his hand and his blood splattered all over the wall behind him. "Dad" I cried not yet believing what I was seeing.

My dad can't be dead… This has to be some sort of sick joke… April fool's day is next week. Is this his idea of a prank? I wonder as I walk into the room nearly in tears.

"Real funny dad… You can get up. You're not fooling anyone." I say nervously hoping to god that he would move. He didn't…

"Dad, come on. Get up!" I yell as tears form in my eyes and start to spill out as I realize that this is not a joke. He really is dead.

"Dad, please!" I call in one last desperate tear filled attempt to see if this was a joke.

I take a closer look at my lifeless father, and it makes me sick. I turn to the trash can and puke before hearing the door open downstairs.

"Dad? Cam?" Lydia calls walking into the home just arriving home from school. I am unable to speak as I hyperventilate in the hallway pacing back and forth not knowing what to do.

She sees me as she walks up the stairs and gets worried. "What's wrong? Where's dad?" she asks concerned as she goes up the last steps and looks around just barely glancing into our parent's room.

Her hand covers her mouth and she steps backward until she runs into the wall as she sees what I'm so freaked out about for herself.

She starts crying as she slides down the wall, and I continue to pace not looking in the room again.

She calms herself to the best of her ability stands up grabs my hand and pulls me down the stairs with her.

She runs to the corner of the room where the cordless phone sits on its charging dock and dials 911.

When the police arrive they call my mother, and she rushes home to be with us… That was the scariest thing that I've ever experienced, and it haunted my dreams for a long time.

Just when I thought it was done I have the dream again, and the loss still feels so fresh.

My sister rubs my back comfortingly as I sob unable to get the image of my dead father out of my head.

"I hate him!" I claim as my anguish diminishes into anger. "You don't mean that." My sister says sadly.

"You think he cared about us, Lydia? He didn't." I tell her wiping the last of my tears as I go through the entire "grieving process" again.

"Cam, he loved us more than anything. You have to know that." she consoles trying to calm me down.

"No… He left us. You don't leave people you love, and he knew I would be the first one home. Did he even think of what this would do to me? To all of us? It's been 3 years and here I am still having nightmares about it… Just face it, Lydia… He fucking hated us!" I yell heatedly at her as I stand up and break into tears again.

Why am I crying over a coward? That's what he was. He couldn't face his issues so he left them behind.

Lydia stares at me looking frightened, and I realize that my lashing out at her is completely uncalled for. She's just trying to help, and here I am yelling at her in the middle of the night.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'll let you sleep." I apologize irritably walking out of her room and into the hall.

I go back into my and Brady's bedroom, and try to get a little sleep. Two sleepless nights in a row, this can't be good for me.

Waking up for school the next morning is something I find impossible to do. I feel too upset to face the world, and ask my mom if I can just stay home.

"Oh honey, are you still not feeling well?" she asks as she comes into my room and puts her hand on my forehead checking for a fever.

"I feel fine. I couldn't sleep last night is all." I tell her sadly thinking about my dad yet again.

"Did something happen at school yesterday?" she asks me concerned sitting on the edge of my bed.

"No… I'm just not up for it right now." I mention wishing she would just leave me alone. "I heard you yelling last night, Cam. Are you sure you're okay?" she asks me more worried about me than she has been in years.

"I'm fine. I'll freaking go to school if that will make you happy." I shout annoyed getting out of my bed aggressively.

"I think I'm going to schedule an appointment with Doctor. Reed for you, Cam." My mother tells me sadly walking out of my room.

"I don't need to see a fucking shrink. I'm fine!" I yell irately loud enough for her to hear me.

"Campbell, you are clearly not fine. You have been acting out a lot lately, and now you're swearing at your mother. You're going through something and I'm not sure what it is, but I'm worried about you." She tells me looking as if she's going to start crying.

"How have I been acting out?" I ask her furiously as I look for clothes to wear to school.

"You punched Zig, you pelted my hand-blown glass at the wall, and now you're waking up in the middle of the night screaming at your sister… I'm making the appointment, and that's final." She responds from my doorway. She turns away upset with me, and goes down the stairs wiping her eyes carefully.

I guess I have a bit of a temper when I get pissed off, but that doesn't mean I'm insane. I don't need to see a stupid psychiatrist. I'm not crazy… right?

When Brady comes back into the room to get dressed he raises an eyebrow at me as I sit on my bed thinking over the events of the last week that my mother listed as well as ones she didn't.

I pushed Chewy into a locker and I felt like I wanted to kill him. I slammed Zig into his locker for showing those pictures. Maybe I am crazy…

"Why were you crying last night?" my little brother asks interrupting me from my thoughts.

"I had a bad dream… no big deal." I tell him irritated getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower quickly before school.

I go to school in a bad mood after arguing with my mother, and probably over thinking the week's happenings.

"Morning, Cam." Maya greets me awkwardly joining me on my way to first period. I ignore her salutation as I continue to analyze my behavior and wonder if I am turning into my dad… He was clinically depressed… Am I depressed?

I know that it can be hereditary… No! Cam, you're fine! You're happy all the time! You're in a good mood most of the time! Dad was sad most of the time. He had his good days, but he was nothing like you.

"Are you okay?" she asks me curiously as we walk into the French room.

"Yeah… why do you ask?" I ask her nervously trying my best to smile. "You just seem a little depressed… are you sure you're alright?" she asks putting her hand on my shoulder and tilting her head cautiously.

"Depressed?" I question worriedly making sure I heard her right… She may not realize this but that is absolutely the last word I want to be described as right now.

"Yeah" she responds with a concerned look before I walk away from her and over to my desk next to Gabby.

"Hey, I saw you in the cafeteria yesterday… Are you feeling better?" Gabby asks me as I sit down next to her.

I nod my head before sitting down and zoning out once again.

"Campbell?" I hear Madame Jean-Aux's familiar French accent call pulling me out of my head. "I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention." I say nervously looking up at the woman standing in front of the class.

"I noticed. Please take your book out!" she tells me as the whole class seems to giggle at me.

"Oh… Sorry!" I say again as I take my book out, and look over at Gabby's book to see what page we are on.

I find it difficult to focus in all of my classes before lunch… I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't think today.

Lunch comes around, and Maya stands at our locker waiting for me as I make my way up the hall. "Cam, you wouldn't mind if I eat lunch with you would you? I'm feeling kind of friendless." She tells me sadly.

"Of course not… It's not like I have people to sit with anyway." I tell her as I switch out my books for my afternoon classes.

"Great… Thanks, Cam!" she tells me with a genuine smile as she waits for me to finish up with my locker.

"So how was 2nd and 3rd period?" Maya asks me uneasily as we walk to the cafeteria.

"I don't know. I've been having trouble paying attention. I'm really tired." I tell her with a small smile as we make our way to the lunch line.

"You didn't sleep either?" she asks me curiously nudging my arm, and I shake my head.

"I was up crying all night if it makes you feel any better." She tells me quietly so that only I could hear her. "Me too actually" I comment laughing slightly.

"You should have called me. We could have cried together." She giggles as we pay for our lunches and make our way to an empty table.

"Next time…" I smile at her. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling better about the break up." I add as we sit down across from each other at the table genuinely happy that she has that beautiful smile on her face.

"Well, I got my crying done last night." She comments pushing her hair behind her ears nonchalantly.

"That's good." I smile taking a sip of my juice. "So why were you crying?" she asks with a curious smirk before popping a grape into her mouth.

I take a deep breath as I mentally argue with myself about whether or not to tell Maya about my bad dreams.

Yes, I already told her that I was crying, and she is a trustworthy friend, but do I really want to burden her with my haunting memories? "I don't kn…" is all I get in before I am interrupted by an angry voice behind me.

"You're kidding me right?" Zig booms angrily walking up to the table. "You break up with me by text yesterday, and now you're all over this psycho?" he yells at Maya causing a scene.

"You're the one who cheated on me!" she tells him with a pissed of look on her face.

"I told you what happened. I didn't even know it was Tori!" he tells her calmly obviously trying to get on her good graces.

"I know you knew. Cam told me everything!" she quietly shouts back at him trying to not gain too many stares from the people surrounding us.

"So this is payback? I have one drunken night with your best friend so you go for mine? You're a little whore you know! You might as well stop losing Cam to go through with your petty revenge. He really is obsessed with you!" Zig yells before walking off leaving Maya in tears as the whole cafeteria watches her.

She quickly gets up and runs in the direction of the girl's restroom hysterically, and I don't follow her.

I know I should, but the things that Zig said stop me. Does she even consider me a friend? Does she like me at all?

Of course she doesn't… I'm crazy. Why would she ever care about me?

I get to Ms. Dawes' room and sit in my seat. I'm the first one here, and eventually the rest of the class trickles in as I sit here staring into space.

Maya is the last one in before the bell rings, and I can tell that she had spent the last 20 minutes of our lunch period crying… Somehow despite the fact that she was using me I feel sympathetic for the sad looking girl who I have known my entire life.

Then it hits me… Cam, you've known Maya since you were a baby. She wouldn't use you to even the score! Why would you listen to Zig? By letting him get in your head you may have given him what he wanted.

I get my phone out of my pocket and text her from across the room as Ms. Dawes writes down the day's journal entry.

"Hey, are you okay?" I text her, and then watch from across the room sadly until she gets it, and looks at me shaking her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I text her before looking at her again watching as she reads the message and texts me back "Yes, but we're in class. After school?"

I nod at her, and she smiles sadly before reaching into her book bag for her journal.

I grab my journal and finally take a look at the board which reads "Describe your favorite day."

It takes me a minute to think about it, but I finally decide on my favorite day.

"Canada Day in 2005 was probably one of the best days of my life. We had a barbeque with our next door neighbors and close family friends, the Matlins, and it was just a great day. I was 9, and Maya was in her last few weeks of being 8. We were swimming in her pool with our siblings like we had hundreds of times before while our parents were hanging out on the deck.

I wish I could write about some significant event that happened on this day to make it my favorite, but in all honesty nothing really all that special happened. We were all just so happy. I guess that is what makes it my favorite. It was probably the one day that nothing went wrong.

Also, and I didn't know this at the time, but I do now. During the fireworks that our dad's put together Maya held my hand for the last time. If I would have known how much I would grow to fall in love with her, I never would have let go." Is what I write in my journal before Ms. Dawes calls time.

I hope to god that I'm not called on. This is the kind of thing that makes me seem obsessed with her… I think as I close my notebook looking up at Ms. D not making direct eye contact with her.

"Who would like to start us off?" Ms. Dawes asks the class, and no one raises their hand.

"Mr. Saunders… You seemed to be writing quite feverishly. Would you please share." She asks smiling at me.

Of course… I glance over at Maya, and she smiles at me reassuringly as I look down at my paper and recite what I had written.

I leave out my last paragraph completely when reading it out loud and the whole class still looks at me funny. I guess it was kind of cheesy if you think about it, but I glanced at Maya when I finished reading it and she was grinning at me looking genuinely amused.

"That was lovely Mr. Saunders. Thank you. How lucky was it that you two got to do the Character Map project together." Ms. Dawes smiles before moving over to another student.

Before chemistry class starts I beg Mr. B to let me switch seats, and the man who was once my favorite teacher lets me down. He tells me that lab partners are final, and that I should have chosen a different partner in the beginning of the semester.

"Come on, Mr. B. It's important." I beg the young teacher trying to get him to level with me.

"Cam, what's wrong with your current partner?" he asks me taking his goggles off, and listening to me.

"He's a bit of a jerk, and I may have punched him on Friday night." I add carefully as to make Mr. B move me.

"You mean to tell me you gave Zig Novak that black eye?" He asks obviously not believing that a guy so much shorter could do that kind of damage to a face. I nod my head at him, and he continues "Very well. You can sit with Greg. He doesn't have a lab partner."

"Thank you Mr. B! This is why you're my favorite teacher!" I tell him with a smile as I go to the middle of the room to sit by Greg.

"Hey Greg, how you been?" I ask the guy I have only talked to twice with a genuine smile.

"Good I guess. What are you doing over here?" he asks raising his eyebrow at me.

"Campbell will be your lab partner for the remainder of the semester." Mr. B cuts in standing behind the blonde boy.

As I walk out of the chem. Classroom, Zig shoves me into the lockers opposite the door.

"Have fun with my used trash!" he says as my head bangs against the locker.

"Why can't you just realize that nothing you say is going to get to me? And, leave her alone. You've hurt her enough!" I tell him pulling my arm out of his grip and stomping off in the direction of my locker.

"Have fun when the entire school has seen her naked." He laughs satanically waving his cell phone as he walks backwards down the hall away from me.

All I want to do is pound his face in, but I hold myself back knowing that I spent the first half of my day worrying that I have a temper problem and possibly depression.

Shit… He didn't delete them. Shitter… he's going to send them to everyone. How did I not realize what an ass he was earlier?

**Oh snaps! More conflict! I hope you liked this chapter. I put a lot of effort into it, and I very much appreciate all of your wonderful feedback from last chapter. You are all amazing! Keep it up! 12 reviews minimum for next update! Have a great day guys!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay guys I'm disappointed. You couldn't get to 12 reviews on the last chapter, and I gave up. I was finished with this, and I decided to be nice to the 10 of you who did review. Love you guys! Happy 4th of July if you are from USA. If you aren't than happy other holidays!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi or Finding Nemo.**

I don't know what to do about the picture sending threat so I go to the only person that I think might know how to go about it… my sister.

Her locker is fairly close to my chem. Class, so I quickly rush to find her at her locker. "Lydia, I need to talk to you." I say tapping her shoulder anxiously and moving her attention away from her friends.

"What?" she asks turning around annoyed that I'm interrupting her conversation. "It's about Maya and Zig… They broke up which is good, but now I think Maya is going to be in some serious trouble…"

"What do you mean trouble?" she questions curiously shooing her friends away.

"Did I tell you about the naked pictures?" I ask her figuring I had and her face goes into one of shock. "No! What naked pictures?" she asks me a little too loudly and gaining glances from other seniors at their lockers… I guess I didn't tell her.

"Maya sent Zig some…pictures, and now he's threatening to send them to everyone. I don't know what to do. He just told me after chemistry, and I'm scared to tell Maya." I say anxiously waiting for her to respond.

"Maya Matlin?" she asks still in shock. "Yeah that's the one. What do I do?" I ask her nervously wishing she would just give me some advice.

"Katie's gonna kill her!" she adds covering her mouth still surprised.

"Lydia! Focus! What do I do so that the entire school doesn't see those pictures?" I ask her desperately in one last attempt to make her help me.

"Okay… Sorry. You say little shit Novak has the pictures?" she asks knowing the answer and probably just wanting to call him a "little shit". I nod my head quickly and she guides me down the hall. "Where is he? I'll get the pictures." She says in a protective tone.

"I don't know. He might be at his locker. What are you gonna do?" I ask her as she starts down the hall after spotting him near the door.

I follow her down the hall, and it appears that she is going to pull a Katie, and defile anyone who hurts Maya. I guess that's what friends do. Protect each other's little siblings while they are away at college.

When my sister gets to Zig he is joking around with Chewy, and doesn't notice my sister coming at him with raging eyes.

"Hey Zig!" she smiles aggressively at the younger and taller than her boy.

"Hi?" he says clearly confused at what she is doing talking to him. "You're gonna hand me your phone, and I'm gonna delete the pictures that you're threatening to send… kay!" she says still smiling an angry smile.

"Um no…" he says trying to turn away from her and walk out the door. She grabs his arm and pulls him to face her again. "No no no… Maybe you didn't hear me clearly. Hand me the phone or I'll shove my boot up your ass and take it… And then I'll break your face worse than my brother did." She adds giddy with anger.

He gulps loudly, hands my sister his phone, and she quickly presses buttons deleting the pictures. After she is finished he holds his hand out waiting for her to hand it back. Instead of handing it back to him she throws the phone on the floor as hard as she can and its screen shatters.

Zig looks down at his phone in pieces and then looks at my sister with a face of pure shock.

"Don't mess with Maya ever again! If you think a broken phone is bad… you don't want to know what Katie would do to you." My sister closes turning away proudly.

I must say… she's rocking this whole protective older sister thing. It's funny to see my sweet big sister acting like such a bitch. "Lydia, that was the coolest thing you've ever done for me!" I follow her excitedly down the hall. Zig's face when she threw his phone was… priceless.

"I didn't do it for you! I did it for Maya. You know she's always been the sister I never had." She smiles at me sincerely… "And I kind of like acting like a bitch." She laughs.

"I can see that." I chuckle unable to wipe the grin off of my face. "How much do you wanna bet that I'm going to have to pay for that freaking phone?" she adds jokingly.

"I doubt it. He'll probably just tell his parents he dropped it." I say smiling at my sister who I appreciate so very much.

"You walking? I'm sure Alli and Jenna left without me by now!" she asks pointing at the exit.

"I was kind of planning on walking with Maya." I tell my sister nervously biting my lower lip. "Oh… I see how it is! Ditch your favorite sister to walk with your little girlyfriend!" she teases biting her lower lip and raising and lowering her eyebrows suggestively.

"She's not my girlfriend! And you're more than welcome to join us." I add nicely.

"Maybe not yet, but you want her to be!" she grins and nudges my arm with her elbow.

I have to go to my locker. Are you walking with us?" I ask her curiously.

"I'm good! Have fun! See you at home!" she waves goodbye to me walking down the hall.

I go to my locker to see Maya still waiting for me. "Where were you? Class let out like 10 minutes ago!" she smiles happy to see me.

"Maya, I'm sorry, but if you're gonna be this kind of over possessive friend I can't do this." I joke unlocking my locker.

"Oh shut up! You promised me you'd walk with me! I am not over possessive!" she says hitting my arm playfully.

"Okay… I believe you!" I say closing my locker and walking down the hall next to her.

"We tried to drown your little brother, and my sisters skirt caught on fire." She comments as we walk home.

"What are you talking about?" I ask her curiously still feeling happiness in seeing Zig put in his place.

"Canada Day 2005! You said nothing went wrong, but things did go wrong!" she laughs.

"I hardly classify us nearly killing Brady to be 'wrong' and I completely forgot about Katie's skirt. That was exciting ay?" I ask her jokingly, and she shakes her head at me playfully.

"I guess so… I wrote about my family's Christmas party when we were 12…" she mentions shyly looking down at her feet and kicking them as we walk home.

I am shocked by this and raise my eyebrows at her. "Really?" I ask her not really believing that out of all of the days she chose that one.

"Really…" she nods her head smirking at me slightly. "That was probably the most traumatic day of my life, and it was your favorite?"I ask her starting to blush a little as I think of what happened.

"Why was it traumatic?" she asks humorously offended… "You know why." I add unable to control my ever reddening cheeks.

"I had fun!" she adds with a small smile in my direction. "I was mortified!" I claim possibly looking like a tomato.

"Well, I'm glad that I know how you feel about kissing me!" she jokes nudging me in the arm. "I promise it'll never happen again." She giggles.

"Maya, that's not fair. I was a 12 year old boy being forced to kiss a girl I liked a lot who thought I was gross by 2 teenage girls. That's barely what I call romantic. I'm allowed to be traumatized." I add kicking my feet nervously.

She's smiling and her face is getting red too. "You liked me?" she asks grinning at me.

"Yeah" I add feeling super embarrassed about telling her that.

"If it means anything to you… I didn't think you were gross. I had the biggest crush on you from when we were 6 to when we were 14" she adds undoubtedly feeling a bit self-conscious just telling me this. "I thought Zig was gross…" she adds sniggering faintly.

"Wow… I wish I would have known that back then." I say picking at my lip as my heart flutters at thoughts of what could have been.

"Would you have asked me out?" she asks biting her bottom lips so cutely. I swallow loudly feeling my hands shake and clam up.

I giggle slightly scratching the back of my head anxiously "Probably not… I've never asked a girl out before. I get too nervous." I say trembling before wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. Why are you getting nervous now, Cam? Chill out!

"Cam!" she says shocked… "You've never asked a girl out before?" she questions hitting my arm with her purse lightly.

"No… I can't do it. I get too scared… I don't do rejection well. This is also the first time the girl I like has been available in quite some time." I add unable to look away from my fidgeting hands. She's going to know it's her that I like… She already assumes after I tried to kiss her. I also admitted that I had a crush on her. Oh god this blows!

"Well we need to work on your confidence!" she jokes nudging my arm with what appears to be a flirty smile… Maybe it doesn't blow. Maybe she likes me again… That would be awesome even if it is highly unlikely.

"So, I guess I'll see you later!" she waves once we make it to the sidewalk in front of our homes. Oh how I wish this walk would never end.

"Yeah! Seeya tomorrow" I say with a small nervous smile as I watch her walk the short distance to her front door.

Even the way she walks is adorable. How could Zig be such an idiot to give up a girl as great and amazing as Maya for a one night stand with Tori. I don't know what would possess anyone to do that, but I'm glad he did. Maybe it did hurt Maya, but I doubt she would ever speak to me again if Zig hadn't messed things up so bad.

It might seem selfish of me to want her to have to go through that, but how else would I ever get close to her again? She means the world to me, and even if I am content as long as she is happy, it's better for her to be happy and speaking to me because living without her would kill me.

"Ugh!" Maya groans loudly as I start down the path to my front door. "What's the matter?" I ask the visibly distraught girl standing at her front door looking through her purse frantically.

"I forgot my mom had an appointment today, and I left my key!" she says disappointedly dropping her bags on the doorstep. "Do you guys still have a spare key to my house?" she asks me desperately.

"I don't know." I answer honestly. My mom has a bunch of keys on her keychain, and I don't know what they open. "We could still have one, but it's most likely with my mom." I continue feeling bad that she's locked out.

She sighs loudly, and grabs her cell phone from her pocket. "I guess I have to call my grandma."

"Or you could hang out at my house for a while until your parents get home." I add with a genuine grin.

"It's nice of you to offer, Cam, but my parents aren't going to be home for a while. They had to go into the city. They're never back before 11." She groans as she dials the number on her phone.

"Is my grandma seriously not answering?" she yells at her phone before after calling her.

"I don't think my mom will care, and she might have a key. She'll be home pretty soon." I add considerately walking through the grass to her.

"Well, thanks. I'm sorry you're stuck spending so much time with me." She apologizes with a grateful smirk as I help her pick up her book bag and purse and walk her over to my house.

"I think that I'll live. You're a fun person." I smile as I open the front door of my house.

We walk into the living room, and an awkward silence falls between us. I don't know what to say, and by the look of things neither does she.

"So, are you hungry or thirsty at all?" I ask her curiously walking into the kitchen. "No I'm good. Thanks though." She replies with a smile.

"Well, you want to go hang out in the basement?" I ask biting my lip nervously.

"Sure" she comments starting toward the stairs with me following behind. She takes a seat on the chair and I sit on the couch still unsure of what to say.

This is ridiculous… I have known this girl my whole life and I can't even think of something to say to her right now. What is wrong with me?

We sit quietly until Lydia comes home. "Cam, where are you?" she calls from upstairs. "Basement!" I reply loud enough for her to hear me.

"The basement? What are you doing down here?" she asks as she walks down the steps. "Oh… Maya's here." She grins giddily coming down the few remaining stairs and sitting beside me on the couch.

"How are you today?" Lydia asks Maya curiously. "I'm alright I guess. I'm locked out." She tells my sister with a slight chuckle.

"Oh… That sucks. At least you have awesome neighbors like us to keep you company right?" she laughs gesturing to the two of us.

Maya giggles and nods. "Yeah… I'm pretty lucky."

"I'm glad you're over. After last Tuesday I was beginning to think I would never see you over here again." Lydia adds causing my eyes to bug out a bit. "Lydia!" I say turning to her to signal her to stop talking about it. I'm not interested I scaring Maya off at this point. Tuesday was a mistake and I don't want to think about it. I don't want Maya to think about it.

"Oh… yeah… we're okay again. " Maya says awkwardly from the chair.

"Have you talked to Katie lately?" Lydia asks changing the subject. Thanks for not embarrassing me too bad sis!

"Um… I talked to her a couple weeks ago. I'm sure you talk to her more than I do." Maya adds starting to let her guard down a bit.

"Yeah… I talked to her on Sunday. I'm surprised she hasn't called you. She's worried about you." Lydia adds with a furrowed brow. My mind starts racing. I knew I shouldn't have told Lydia anything about Maya. It probably all will get back to Katie and her parents… Oh god I'm dead.

"Oh… she did call. I should probably give her a call back." She smiles at my sister.

"Okay well, I'm gonna leave you two little cuties alone to do whatever you guys do when you're alone!" Lydia says getting up from the couch and walking up the stairs. Thank goodness she left before ruining my life.

"So, you wanna watch a movie or something?" she asks me curiously glancing at the TV stand that she knows holds DVD's underneath.

"Um… yeah" I say nervously getting up from the couch and kneeling next to the bottom cupboard. Maya follows getting up from the chair and sitting down on the floor beside me looking through the movies.

"You still have this?" she asks pointing to the copy of "Lilo and Stitch" that she got me for my 7th birthday.

"I'm not going to throw away a movie. Of course I still have it." I joke as she continues to look through the movies.

"This collection has become a lot more mature in the last couple years I see." She giggles pointing to the princess movies that have been there since we were little.

"We don't keep all of the movies down here anymore… These are mostly the ones we got when we were younger." I add realizing that the majority of the movies are up in the living room now.

"We can go in the living room and find one." I add getting up from the floor and holding my hand out to help her up.

"Who needs that when we can watch 'Finding Nemo'?" she says pulling the DVD off of the shelf with a smile on her face.

"Really?" I ask her not knowing whether or not she was kidding about watching the movie we had seen at least 50 times.

"Yeah. Why not? I haven't seen this movie in years." She grins at me getting up off of the floor and turning on the DVD player.

"Fine by me" I say moving over to the couch as she starts the movie. When she gets the movie started, instead of sitting back down in the chair, she sits on the couch with me… well on the other side. It still makes me happy to have her a bit closer.

"Should I make popcorn or something?" I ask her curiously as the movie starts. "If you want to" she responds already watching the movie pretty intently.

I go upstairs to make popcorn and see that Brady is in the kitchen just getting home from soccer practice. "Hey Bro, how are you?" I greet him nicely patting his back.

"Fine… why are you being nice to me?" he asks confusedly. "I don't know… You're not being annoying just standing there, and I'm pretty happy right now." I say smiling at the 13 year old boy.

"Are you high or something?" he asks raising one of his eyebrows at me. "Of course not!" I laugh getting the popcorn out of the microwave and transferring it to a bowl.

I walk back down into the basement and sit back in my seat with the popcorn. To my pleasant surprise, Maya scoots beside me so that she can reach the popcorn.

Halfway through the movie, Maya falls asleep on my shoulder and I feel butterflies in my stomach as her breathing slows and her body relaxes into mine. She is so beautiful when she sleeps. She drools on my shoulder, but I don't mind. She can drool in me whenever she wants if it means being this close to her.

I find myself watching her sleep rather than watching the movie, and feel like a total creep. I can't take my eyes off of her though… She's just too cute.

My mom arrives home around the time that Marlin finds Nemo, and I decide that I should probably wake Maya.

"Maya" I say in a singsong voice as I nudge her shoulder gently trying to wake her. She opens her eyes and yawns groggily sitting up and then looking at me.

"My mom is home if we want to see about that key." I say with a smile at her as she wipes the edge of her mouth realizing that she was drooling.

Once she is finally awake enough to comprehend what is going on she looks at my shoulder with wide eyes probably noticing the small bit of her saliva that had made it to my t-shirt.

"Cam, I'm so sorry!" she says covering her mouth and giggling slightly at the fact that she had gotten her spit all over me.

I look at my shoulder and shrug. "No big deal… If you want to check about the key, my mom is home." I add acting as cool as possible.

"I can't believe I fell asleep on you… and drooled. Gosh, I'm sure that's attractive." She says embarrassed standing up from the couch.

Yes! It was very attractive. I think it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen actually… too bad that would be the creepiest thing to say ever.

"It's okay. I didn't even notice." I add in the playing it cool voice I had established moments earlier. "And you were tired. Like you said, you didn't get a bunch of sleep last night." I add getting up and standing next to her.

"So… the key, we should probably see if she has it." Maya smiles at me with her face still a bright red.

"Okay" I grin starting up the stairs to the kitchen. "Cam, I made your appointment with the psychiatrist for Friday at 4." My mom yells while we make our way up the stairs.

God why? Why did my mom have to say something about that in Maya's presence? She's going to think I'm insane… who would ever want to be with an insane guy?

"Mom!" I blurt out annoyed as Maya makes it up the stairs. She turns to us, and realizes that Maya is there too.

"Oh hi Maya, I didn't know you were here." My mom smiles at Maya before mouthing "Sorry" to me about making it known to the whole world that I need a freaking psychiatrist.

"Hi Mrs. Saunders." Maya greets my mother with a smile before turning to me with a slightly concerned look.

"Maya forgot her key at home. Do we still have a spare?" I ask her in a monotone trying to hold in my irritation toward her right now.

"Oh… yes. I think that I have it on my key chain." She responds toward Maya before turning around and fishing in her purse on the counter for her keys.

"Here you are, Maya" my mother says as she hands her the key. "Thanks Mrs. S" she smiles taking the key.

"I guess I'm gonna go. Thanks for letting me hang out here." She smiles at me sincerely.

"Where is your mother today?" My mom asks Maya curiously. "My mom had an appointment. They'll be back in a few hours I'm sure." She tells my mother sweetly.

"Oh well, would you like to stay for dinner? I'm making Pizza." She says happily toward the blonde girl.

Maya bites her upper lip and looks at me probably to see what I think about it. I grin as much as I can considering how upset I am with my mother, and she responds "How could I say no to pizza?" with a small chuckle.

"Great! You kids can go back down stairs. It'll be ready in about an hour." My mom tells us shooing us out of the kitchen. Maya goes down the carpeted stairs first and I am stopped by my mom when I go to follow a few steps behind. "What is on your shirt?" she asks curiously pulling me over to her to look at the spot.

I notice Maya bring her hand to her face embarrassed as my mom dabs my shirt with a rag. "It's just a little drool. I fell asleep when we were watching a movie." I answer my mother giggling at Maya's reaction.

"Oh goodness Cam, you want Maya to think you're a slob? Go change!" she tells me with a frown.

"Okay" I tell her before telling Maya "I'll be right back." and heading up the stairs to change my shirt.

I quickly change my shirt and head back down to the basement where Maya is sitting on the chair looking mortified. "Your mom thinks I'm a slob!" she groans laughing at herself.

"No… she thinks I'm a slob for not changing right away. I forgot about it though. I'm not a slob." I tell her as I sit back on the couch.

"I know you're not." She smiles at me. "I'm not a slob either… I just slobber like one." She laughs sticking her tongue out at me.

"Is that where that comes from? Do slobs slobber? Is that why they're called slobs?" I ask her curiously.

"I don't know." She chortles at me. "You're silly!" she adds getting up from the chair and plopping beside me.

"I'm not trying to be. I want to know if the two are related…" I continue not really caring, but knowing she is finding me hilarious right now. Who doesn't like a funny guy?

"Probably!" she nods still giggling at the fact we are having a conversation about whether the word slob is related to the word slobber.

"I guess you're a slob than. I mean I don't slobber like that… especially on other people. Come on My that's just gross!" I tease laughing at the blonde, red faced girl next to me.

"I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to. It's really embarrassing!" she adds looking down at her lap sadly.

"Why would you be embarrassed around me? I've seen you at your absolute worst and I still love you." I laugh not quite realizing what I had said.

"I love you too" she says in a friendly, purely platonic way smiling at me. "You've always been there for me, and I thank you for that." she tells me tapping my nose.

I was wrong about the flirty signals earlier… She thinks of me like a brother and she always will… Fuck!

"Well, I'd like to think that if I needed you, you would be there." I grin at her as sweetly as possible to cover my disappointment.

She frowns at me and wraps her arms around me guiltily. "I'm so sorry that I wasn't."

I know exactly what she is referring to, and it doesn't even upset me too much. "Maya, I think that if I really needed you, and I told you that I needed you than you would have been there." I tell her with a small smirk hoping that she doesn't notice that I smelled her hair when she was hugging me. It smells like Apples.

"I don't even have to ask you though. You save me from myself, and I don't think that there could be a better friend." She mentions looking into my eyes gratefully.

"Well, you're welcome." I tell her looking back into her eyes. "Your eyes are really brown." She tells me not diverting her gaze away from them.

"Yours are really blue!" I respond looking into the beautiful blue oceans that are her eyes not moving my lips toward hers despite how much I want to. She thinks I'm like a brother… I remind myself.

She moves her head closer to mine, and I look away from her eyes and down at her lips. Is she going to kiss me?

She presses her lips on mine and moves them around waiting for me to reciprocate. Once I am past the shock of this, I move my lips in sync with hers.

She pulls away seconds later and there are tears in her eyes threatening to stream down her face. "What's wrong?" I ask her cautiously wiping a tear off of her cheek with my hand.

"I'm sorry. That was a mistake. It's way too soon." She cries. "It's alright. Don't cry, Maya. I hate seeing you cry." I add continuing to wipe her tears.

Even if it was a mistake and it made her cry I am so glad it happened. I'm in love with this girl… There is no doubt in my mind. She is going to be mine someday. I swear she will be.

**Awe... cute ending right? I hope you liked this chapter. I had fun writing it. I broke my glasses and it took me forever to do because I couldn't see, but I love you guys and I wasn't going to make you wait until Monday. Please tell me what you think! It makes me write faster when I see that you like it! Also, suggestions are always welcome. Favorites and follows too. Have a great day Beautifuls!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow! You guys blew me away! 14 reviews on 1 chapter? You guys are legit the greatest readers a girl could ask for! I am so thankful to all of you, and I tried very hard to update before going to bed. I even stayed up until 5:30 just to get this up! You're welcome!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

I went to see Doctor Reed today, and I was really nervous the entire time. He asked me a bunch of questions that seemed hard to answer. He was extremely harsh and seemed scary. It only took him about 30 minutes to diagnose me though which makes me think that I must be really messed up.

I'm not depressed like my father was. Instead I am suffering from Trauma induced Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

It's funny really. I was worried that I was going to be depressed because of my dad. I thought that having the same genes and taking after him personality wise would make me have mental issues too, but Doctor Reed tells me that my father's suicide caused me to have anxiety issues. It's still his fault that I'm so messed up…

The Doctor prescribed me Ativan which is supposed to help with my anxiety that I didn't even realize I had. I mean I know that I get nervous a lot and I know that I haven't been sleeping well the last couple of months, but I thought that it was normal.

Sometimes I felt like everyone else could handle things better than I could, but then I would convince myself that I was being ridiculous and I just needed to take a breather. I guess I was right though. It's kind of a relief to know that after a few short weeks I could be normal.

I'm stuck seeing a therapist for a couple of months after starting this medicine just so that they can make sure it's not making things worse and that it is helping.

Luckily, I can see the therapist that I talked to back in 7th grade. I like her. She's a laid back person and she doesn't pressure me too much to talk to her about stuff I don't want to talk about. I'll only have to see her once every 2 weeks for an hour so it's nowhere near as intensive as when I was 13. It's just to check on how I'm doing.

The minute my mother pulls into the driveway I see Maya bolt out of her front door to meet me at the passenger side. "How'd it go?" she asks with hopeful eyes as I open the door and exit the car.

"It was okay I guess." I tell her sadly as I get out of the car. Although finding out about my mental stigma has been a bit of a relief to me. It is also kind of scary and it's making me nervous to think about how Maya will react to it.

What if she doesn't want to talk to me because I'm crazy? What is she treats me differently? What if she tells people? I don't want the whole world knowing about this…

"Okay… So tell me what happened! Are you okay?" she asks me curiously following me onto my front steps as my mom unlocks the front door.

"If by 'Okay' you mean I'm not depressed than yes. I'm okay." I smile at her sweetly.

"That's great, Cam!" she says wrapping her arms around my neck and embracing me in a hug. "I knew you would be fine." She continues smiling at me.

I savor the hug knowing that if I tell her the truth, it could be the last I ever get.

My mom turns to us and gives me a serious look while heading inside. I know that she thinks I should tell her, but I don't know if I want to.

"Even if there was something wrong with me you would still talk to me right?" I ask her worriedly as I sit down on the top step. "What do you mean?" she asks confusedly sitting beside me.

"If I had a mental issue would you still be my friend?" I questions still feeling incredibly anxious about this situation.

"Of course I would be. Why would you ever think otherwise?" she asks slightly surprised by my question. I take a deep breath trying to calm myself before explaining it to her.

"What aren't you telling me?" she continues nudging my side as I fidget with my fingers.

"I have an anxiety problem." I tell her as I pick at my lower lip with my thumb nail.

"Oh…" she says looking out at the front yard. "Did they prescribe you something for it?" she asks me curiously and I nod at her still skeptical to whether or not I am ruining my chances with her by telling her this… Oh wait, what chances?

"So you'll be okay?" she continues looking at me sympathetically. "I should be… if it works." I reply shrugging my shoulders while fiddling with my fingers.

"Well that's good." She replies resting her head on my shoulder as we watch the grass in my yard grow.

"So, what are you doing this weekend?" she asks me curiously picking her head up off of my shoulder. I find myself start to calm down at the fact she is asking me about my weekend plans instead of more about my mental health.

"Probably nothing… you?" I ask her turning to face her. "I might go to that Bonfire at Kyle's house tomorrow, but only if you go with me." She says giving me a small smirk.

I sigh loudly and adjust my feet to a lower stair. "I don't know if I'm ready for another party. Last weekend was kind of crazy." I tell her with a slight frown as I think about the previous Friday night and how much everything had changed since then.

"Come on, Cam! It'll be fun! I am single and ready to mingle!" she laughs jokingly crushing my spirits… She wants to meet other boys. I knew she would never want me, but why? She did kiss me. There has to be something there right?

"Maya, I don't want you dating any other Degrassi jerk!" I tell her sadly.

"Would you rather I find a Bardell boy?" she giggles cutely.

"No no, I was thinking that maybe… I don't know. Do what you want I guess." I sigh unable to tell her the way I feel. I wish I had the confidence to just tell her that I don't want her dating anyone else because I want her to date me, but of course I don't.

"What's wrong?" she asks me worriedly probably seeing that my hands are shaking and my breathing has become shallow and quick.

"Never mind" I tell her a bit agitated rolling my eyes as I sit next to her.

"Cam, tell me what's going on with you." she says grabbing my hand caringly. Her touch is gentle and steadies my trembling hands. My palms are sweating a ton, but she doesn't let go. She looks at me with concern rubbing the top of my hand cautiously with her thumb.

Time to tell her how you feel, Cam. Be honest. She'll listen. She kissed you and she admitted she used to have a crush on you. There's something there despite how hard she is fighting it. Just tell her.

"I love you!" I tell her with a serious tone in my voice as my mind races with what her response will be. "I love you too. Now what's wrong?" she continues still worried.

"No… I mean I'm in love with you." I tell her as my heart starts racing. Why did I tell her that?

She lets go of my hand and gazes at me with an eyebrow raised. "No you're not." She tells me as if I had just said he stupidest thing she had ever heard.

"I am." I nod at her desolately as I come to the realization that she doesn't feel anything for me.

"Is this because I kissed you because I told you that was a mistake." She tells me with a sad frown in my direction.

"Was it though? You don't just kiss someone you don't have those kinds of feelings for." I tell her as a stray tear makes its way down my cheek. I ruined everything… I always ruin everything…

"I do have those feelings for you. You're sweet, you're hot, you're funny, and you're perfect. How could I not? But that's beside the point, Cam." She tells me looking like she's going to cry too.

"How is it beside the point?" I ask her confused at her logic… If I love her and she thinks I'm all of those things than why won't we work?

"What if we were to go out and break up? You live next door, and it would be super hard to see you all of the time. Also, I can't lose you as a friend, Cam." She tells me in a very distraught tone.

Why does she think we would break up? She was with Zig for over a year, and we get along better than Zig and she ever did.

"Maya, we wouldn't break up." I tell her grabbing her hand with my sweaty, shaky ones.

"You don't know that." she responds as a tear falls down her cheek. "I do know that" I tell her guiding her chin upward with my free hand and causing her to look into my eyes.

Her lower lip trembles as her deep blue eyes spill more tears. "How could you possibly know that?" she asks in a shaky voice as my face draws closer to hers.

"Because there is no way that I would ever let you go." I tell her before pressing my lips to hers with passionate force. I feel fireworks as our lips crash into each other repeatedly and out noses bump a few times.

She puts her hand on the back of my neck holding my head close to hers to continue the kiss and I see this as a good sign.

My heart doesn't stop fluttering in my chest the entire time we are kissing. I cup her face in my hand and move my with hers for what seems like forever. It is the greatest sensation I have ever experienced and I never want it to end, but eventually she finally pulls her lips away from mine heaving from the lack of oxygen.

She pulls my head toward hers again and this time kisses m lips much more gently before pulling away.

"That sounds really controlling." She giggles letting go of my neck.

"What?" I ask her breathlessly grinning at her as I situate myself back to the way I was sitting prior to our little… kiss.

"You said you wouldn't let me go. That sounds controlling." She laughs at me as I try to come down from the high I am in right now.

"I didn't mean it that way," I tell her biting my lower lip.

"I know you didn't." she says grabbing my hand and intertwining our fingers. What does this mean? Are we willing to take the risk? Are we dating now?

I glance down at our intertwined hands and then back up at Maya curiously. "Are we giving this a shot then?" I ask her hopefully.

"I guess so." She shrugs at me scooting closer to me on the stairs. "So… are we like a couple?" I ask just to clarify we are on the same page.

"If you want to be." She responds smiling at me. "Oh I do… One question though. Why the change of heart?" I ask her raising an eyebrow at her.

Her cheeks begin to turn a rosy shade of pink and she looks at me with a nervous smile. "I don't know... that kiss." She says biting her lower lip the adorable way she does.

"Oh…" I tell her with a grin that won't go away. "This is my new favorite Day" she says smiling at me.

I smile proudly at the fact that both of her favorite days involved kissing me. Maybe I'm not as bad as I thought. "Mine too." I tell her continuing to hold her hand.

We never held hands like this when we were little. This is much more… perfect. The way they fit together just blows me away… She really is my dream girl and maybe if I'm lucky I can be her dream guy.

The sun is low in the sky and setting behind the trees that lace our view. What a perfect view for a perfect moment. After years of waiting, she is my girlfriend. That feels good to think about. I can't wait to say it out loud…

She leans her head on my shoulder and we watch the sun fall completely behind the trees and eventually out of the sky only to be replaced by a gorgeous crescent moon.

"So… that fire tomorrow. Do you want to go?" she asks with her head still on my shoulder.

I swallow loudly before answering. "What if Zig goes? Kyle is friends with him." I tell her anxiously feeling my hands become sweaty once again including the one interlocked with Maya's.

"So what if he goes. I hope he see's us together. It would kill him. He deserves that!" Maya says irritated squeezing my hand a bit too tightly.

She wants him to see us together… Was this whole thing a lie? Does she even like me at all or was he right? Is she using me for her vengeance?

"Maya, that's not why you're doing this right?" I ask her with a disappointed frown as I turn to look at her.

"Are you bugging because of what he said at lunch on Tuesday?" she asks me curiously.

A little… "Can you just answer the question?" I ask her sadly as she picks her head up off of my shoulder.

"I like you… I always have. I never would have dated Zig if I knew that you felt the same way." She tells me making my cheeks blush a tomato red.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't get up the guts to ask you out first." I apologize with a small giggle.

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you how much I like you earlier. "she responds with a frown.

"So the fire?" she asks one last time with a smile. She really wants to go…

"Sure!" I tell her with a genuine smirk after seeing her excitement. "Yay" she squeals excitedly beside me.

"I get to show off my cute new boyfriend to everyone." She tells me with a flirty smile rising up our held together hands slightly and resting her elbow on her knee.

"And now I have a legit reason to reject all of the females lining up to date me." I joke sarcastically.

"Oh, Cammy… I hope you never find out about what girls say about you. It would give you a big head." She tells me laughing at my pretend cockiness.

"What does that mean?" I ask her curiously really wanting to know what they say about me.

"A lot of girls like you." She chuckles. "Really?" I ask her figuring that she is just kidding.

"Yes. They really like you." She tells me with a smile. "Like who?" I ask wanting to know more.

"You want to know so you can go after them instead of me! No thanks!" she tells me with a fake serious tone.

"Well, I don't talk to a lot of guys, but Chewy seems to think that you are very hot after seeing those pictures of you." I tell her laughing and figuring she wouldn't be offended… I was wrong.

"Cam!" she says letting go of my hand and hitting my arm. "Ouch… I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd get so mad." I tell her apologetically with a frown.

"Sore subject! Let's not bring up my sexting mishap ever again!" she tells me looking down at her lap.

"Okay. I promise. Never again!" I assure nodding and really not wanting to make her mad at this point.

"One question… Did you see them?" she asks me looking incredibly embarrassed.

I quickly shake my head knowing it would make her feel better and she smiles at me. "Good! It was really stupid of me to send those to anyone." Maya adds still feeling self conscious.

"Yeah it was!" I agree with her, and she hit my arm again. "Wow… way to make me feel better."

"I'm sorry Maya. It wasn't your finest moment." I laugh.

Then it hits me… It might not have been her worst. Zig was bragging about having slept with her. Did he? Can I ask her that? No! That's not okay to ask your new girlfriend.

"What's wrong, Cam?" she asks as I bite my lip nervously. "Nothing" I tell her quickly not wanting her to know what's on my mind.

"I've known you forever. I can tell when something is bugging you. Please tell me what it is." She says nudging my arm.

"Do you really want to know?" I ask her anxiously fidgeting my fingers once again.

"Yeah…" she nods sweetly putting her hand on my knee. Let's hope that she doesn't break up with me for bringing this up.

"At the party last weekend when I was fighting with Zig he told me that you had sex with him. He was lying right?" I ask her scratching at my bottom lip nervously.

Her face goes blank and she looks down. I wish I didn't ask. I obviously won't like her response.

She sniffles and wipes her eyes before looking at me sadly.

"You did have sex with him?" I ask her feeling upset as I scratch the back of my head anxiously.

She bites her upper lip and nods her head with sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry" she tells me as she starts to cry. Well Shit! Now you made her cry!

I wrap my arms around her understandingly trying to make her feel better. "What are you sorry about silly? It's no big deal!" I lie to her as I try my best to comfort her.

"I didn't want to." She cries into my shoulder and it gives me pause.

"Maya, what do you mean you didn't want to? Did Zig rape you?" I ask her concerned not knowing what he is capable of.

"No! Of course not! He would never do that. I just felt pressured. That's all." She says shaking her head quickly.

I feel like I want to kill Zig now. How dare he do that to Maya? She's such a great girl! How could anyone ever do that to her? He pressures Maya to have sex with him and then ditches her the next week! What. An. ASS!

"Maya…" I groan sadly rubbing her back carefully as she cries into my shoulder.

At this point it is getting really dark outside, and Maya is done crying. "I have to go home now, curfew." Maya sniffles pulling away from my embrace and standing up.

"Cam, before I go… are we still dating?" she asks me curiously with a sad frown.

I laugh at the fact that she thinks anything would change that. "As long as you want to" I tell her standing up.

She nods her head and gives me one last hug before walking across my yard to hers. "Night!" I call with a smile on my face. "Night!" she calls back.

I turn to go inside of my own house and the minute I do my mom asks me what I was doing sitting outside for 4 hours, and I smile at her.

"Maya is my girlfriend now!" I tell her happily. I knew that saying it would feel great and guess what… it does.

"Oh Cam, that's great. She's such a nice girl. She's like family." My mother smiles at me.

"Is Brady upstairs?" I ask her curiously and she responds "yeah why?"

"I want to tell him my good news." I reply with a grin as I start up the stairs.

"Okay" my mother says giving me a curious grin. I don't normally talk to Brady, but Lydia isn't home, and I just want to say that Maya s my girlfriend again.

I open the door to me and my brother's bedroom, and smile at him. "Guess what!" I tell him giddily.

"What?" the brown haired 13 year old responds back at me raising an eyebrow as he plays his portable game thing.

"Maya is my girlfriend!" I tell him happily falling back onto my bed in pure bliss.

"Maya dating you? Ha! I'll believe it when I see it!" he laughs getting back to his game.

I'm too happy to care about what he has to say about it. I know that I'm the happiest person ever right now and that is enough for me!

**Awe! Another cute one with a bit of drama tied in... I know it's not my greatest, but I hope you like it. I love you all so much! Thanks for reading! You rock a lot! Tell me what you think**!

** I am taking notice to the suggestions you gave me last chapter and of course there will be more drama. This is taking place in spring of so hockey season is overish. I figure that I won't include the ice hounds too much because they aren't important to the story and I wouldn't know how to tie them in. And, Katie will be coming back when school ends and that will be soon! Love you all keep the suggestions coming!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry that I haven't updated in a couple days. I've been working on another story "Everything Has Changed". It is also Camaya and you should all check it out because you are amazing and you just should. Thanks for the reviews on last chapter. I love you guys. Remember that I update faster if motivated by reviews... Motivate me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

"Cam! Wake up!" My sister calls jumping on the foot of my bed with her knees excitedly. I sit up and groggily wipe my eyes before looking at the alarm clock… 8 am. "What?" I ask my sister with a scraggly voice.

"You and Maya are dating! What the heck dude! You're supposed to tell me stuff like that before Katie calls me to tell me!" she shouts excitedly at me with a smile on her face.

"Sorry… it just happened last night and you weren't home yet when I went to bed. How does Katie know?"I ask my sister curiously after coughing a few times to get the sleepiness out of my voice.

"Maya told her! What do you think?" she asks me as if it should be obvious. "Well?" she asks.

"Well what?" I continue not knowing what she wants from me.

"What happened?" she asks curiously and loudly grinning at me as Brady begins to stir in his sleep.

I think about everything that happened yesterday, and smile at the fact that I have reached the goal I was looking toward for so long. I feel like it's a Mario game, and I just beat the last Boss level. Now all that's left is me and my princess…

"Cam!" she says hitting my arm and pulliIng me out of my head. "Sorry…"

"Um… I told her how I feel about her, and she told me that she liked me, but she was worried about dating in case we were to break up because we're neighbors and it would be hard. Then I kissed her and she changed her mind." I tell her smiling and she holds her hand over her heart.

"Awe! My little brother and my adoptive little sister make a cute couple!" she coos on the edge of my bed.

"Can you not put it that way? You make it sound like incest!" I tell her standing up now fully awake.

"Sorry! It's just too cute… Are you going on your first date today?" she asks me inquisitively.

"Well, we're going to that Bonfire tonight. I guess it could be kind of like a date." I tell my sister as I walk across my bedroom to the door with her following behind.

"Ooh! I guess I'll see you there, Bro!" she says going past me in the doorway.

"Why are you going to a party hosted by a guy in my grade?" I ask her confused at what my sister; a pretty cool person would be doing caught at a grade 10 party.

"Are we talking about the same party? I'm talking about Liam's party." She says confusedly cocking her head to the side a bit.

"Oh… I'm talking about Kyle's, but Liam's his brother so it's probably the same one." I nod as the realization comes to my mind. "Okay! We should carpool." She adds as she walks away down the stairs.

I hop in the shower and get myself ready for the day before going down stairs to see that my mom is not home. "Can you tell Brady to get ready? We have chores to split up!" Lydia yells from the kitchen. Ugh! Chores suck!

After making sure Brady gets up and gets ready I go back down the stairs to the kitchen where Lydia is already tidying up busily.

"You guys took too long! I split up the chores myself… I've got kitchen and laundry. Cam, you have living room and dining room. Brady you're doing the bathroom and the basement!" Lydia orders us while she wipes the counter.

"Okay" I agree going into the dining room to start tidying the table. "Why do I always get the bathroom?" Brady groans irritated as he makes his way up the stairs.

"You wake up last!" Lydia calls back at him as she continues to clean the kitchen. I vacuum the floor quickly and put things where they belong and finish my chores before 11.

"Where's mom anyway?" I ask Lydia curiously as she brings a basket of clean clothes upstairs. "She went to get her hair cut and then to the grocery store." She tells me as she sits on the couch and starts folding the clothes.

I sit down on the coffee table and help Lydia fold the clothes in the basket, and sort them into piles according to who they belong to before bringing me and Brady's piles up to our bedroom and placing his on his bed.

I put my clothes away before heading back down to see my mother had arrived back at home. "Hey mom. Love the new do!" Lydia greets her as she sits folding a new basket full of clothes.

"Cam, could you help me bring in the groceries!" she asks me with a smile. "Sure thing, mom" I say walking past her in the door and to the trunk to grab a couple bags.

Once I get back into the house m mother is talking to Lydia and I carry the groceries in my hands through to the kitchen.

As I walk back through to grab more bags I hear my mother say something to Lydia about her having a date tonight.

"What?" I ask shocked butting into their conversation. "Cam, it's no big deal. I'm just going out on a date with a very nice man tonight." She tells me with a happy smile as she folds one of Brady's plain t-shirts.

"What about dad?" I ask her as I start to feel anxious and upset about the news.

"Your father has been gone for 3 years, Cam. I have to move on at some point. What better time than the present?" She adds shrugging her shoulders continuing to help Lydia fold.

The thought of my mother dating anyone ever again never even crossed my mind. It bugs me to think that she is trying to replace dad. I mean I understand that he's never coming back and she gets lonely, but dating? Really? It seems so juvenile for a person her age.

"Do you think he would want his wife dating other men?" I ask my mother snippily.

"I like to think that your father would like us all to be happy, and if that means me finding companionship then I'm sure he'd be okay with it." She says not looking away from the clothes.

"He would not be okay with it!" I snap back at her irately. "Well, I don't think that it's your place to tell me what you think he would want. I am a grown woman capable of making my own choices, and I choose to start dating again." She retorts back obviously getting frustrated with me.

"I can't even believe you're doing this, so much for loving dad!" I yell at her in disbelief. What is she even thinking?

"Don't accuse me of not loving your father! I gave that man everything and I loved him more than anything! I don't want to be alone the rest of my life because of something I had no control over. Please Campbell, understand that I can only be a mourning widow for so long." My mother shouts more angrily than I have ever heard her shout.

"Lydia, what do you think about this?" I ask my sister angrily. "I think that you should chill out. Mom should be happy too." She snarls while folding laundry.

"I'm taking a walk." I say irritated as I walk out the door.

Does no one see how mad dad would be if he saw mom dating another man? Does no one care? Am I the only person in my family who still gives a damn?

I wander around the neighborhood for a few hours before unconsciously stumbling upon the field about a mile from my house where my dad taught me how to play soccer when I was a kid. I was wrong about what I said the other night. I could never hate him.

His last actions may have scarred me for life, but he was a good dad and he was a good husband to my mom. How could she do this to him? To us?

I really don't want to be around to see her with another man and I'm certain that I'm not the only one. Brady would probably agree with me even if Lydia is being ridiculous and siding with mom.

She fights with mom about everything and now the one thing that mom is doing that I don't agree with she does. She's supposed to side with me on something like this. Why does she want mom to try to replace dad?

Obviously mom could never replace dad. He was awesome when he was happy. When Lydia and I were little he was happy all of the time. I think he started having issues when I was about 5, and after that he would come in and out of being sad.

It got worse as time went on and near the time of his death he didn't really talk to us that often. He was happy maybe twice a month. I have no idea why he didn't talk to Doctor Reed about switching his medicine. The Zoloft was obviously not working the way it was supposed to.

I'm no stranger to sadness, but I can't even imagine how he felt everyday to feel that the only way out was to kill himself. I hope I never have to endure that sadness.

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and I see that it's Maya. "Hey, where are you? Your mom came over here looking for you."

Oh great... Now my mom is worried about where I am. I've been gone for four hours and now she cares. Okay!

I decide to text Maya back "I'm at Pine Ridge Field… Don't tell her. I don't really want to talk to her right now. I'm cooling off."

Not even seconds later my phone starts ringing and it's Maya this time instead fo my mom who had called me 9 times in the last hour.

"Hey… what's up?" I ask her as casually as I can as I sit underneath a tree.

"What happened? Should I walk over there? Do you need to talk to someone?" Maya asks me with worry in her voice. Knowing about my anxiety issues probably sent her into worry mode as soon as she found out I was missing.

"I don't NEED to talk to anyone. I'm just trying to get my head around something. You can come if you want, but please don't worry about me just because I'm crazy." I add laughing into the phone, but not hearing even a giggle on the other end.

"Cam, it's not funny. She had me thinking you were dead. I'm coming to the field. Don't move a muscle." She tells me into the phone before hanging up.

Is my mom seriously that worried about me? She has no reason to think that I'm doing anything other than what I said I was doing which is taking a walk. After she lays something that huge and upsetting on me she has to expect that I;m not going to want to talk to her.

Maya pulls up on her bike and I see her grab her phone out of her pocket as she looks anxiously around for me. "Over here!" I wave at her from under the tree. She walks her bike through the grass over to me and sits next to me grabbing my hand.

"Hey, don't scare me like that." she tells me obviously feeling relief in seeing that I'm fine.

"Maya, I'm not some loser who tries to hurt himself." I sigh sadly with a frown as she leans her head on m shoulder.

"Okay… well, your mother doesn't know that. She's really worried. I told her that you're fine, and that I was going around the neighborhood to look for you." Maya lets me know still holding my hand tightly.

"What does she think I'm gonna kill myself because she's being an idiot? That's ridiculous." I groan annoyed at my mother's actions.

"What happened between you two anyway? You never fight with your mom." Maya adds worriedly looking at me.

"She's going to start dating tonight. I don't think that she should… I don't think my dad would want her to date anyone." I tell Maya with a frown as I continue to think of my mother's betrayal to my father.

Maya raises one of her eyebrows at me and looks at me bewildered. "You don't think that your mom should date anyone because your dad wouldn't want her to?" she asks clarifying the situation for herself as I nod in agreement with her words.

"Cam, that's ridiculous." She says letting go of my hand.

"Why is it ridiculous to think that he wouldn't want that for her?" I ask her annoyed that she is siding with my mom. I thought that at least my girlfriend would see this through my eyes… or at least try to.

"Let's say that he's looking down at her and doesn't want her to date anyone, which for the record I highly doubt. Anyway hypothetically, he doesn't want her to date… why should that stop her?" Maya asks me curiously.

"She should respect that!" I tell her irritated as I stand up from my seat under the tree.

"Why? Do you think she wanted him to kill himself?" she asks standing up too.

"Of course not" I reply as if it should be obvious which it is. "Well then why should she be lonely just because he left her by herself with 3 kids?" Maya asks me calmly clearly trying to make me see things her way.

"Because no one can replace my dad!" I yell at my girlfriend angrily starting to get frustrated with her.

Maya cowers slightly looking scared of me, but I don't even feel bad. I still feel angry at her for not agreeing with me.

"She knows that no one can replace him. She's just tired of being sad about it. You should understand that." she tells me gently placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't tell me what I should understand, and don't touch me. Just leave me alone, okay!" I yell at her ripping my shoulder out from under her hand aggressively.

How did she manage to make me feel worse about this? How did she manage to make me mad at her? I haven't been mad at Maya since I was 11…

"I'm not going to leave you when you're this upset." She continues trying to appear calm, but I can see the tears threatening to spill.

"Alright, you stay. I'm going." I tell her furiously starting to walk away.

"Cam, wait." She calls running after me and grabbing my hand. "Maya, I'm pissed off. Can you please just respect that I need a little space?" I scream at her continuing down the road faster as she watches me walk away sadly.

Go back, Cam. She's right and you know it. You wish that she wasn't but she is. Mom didn't choose to be left here and no one can dictate what she wants to do or not do.

You probably made Maya cry with the way you were screaming at her! Go apologize before she breaks up with you!

Now I've got fucking voices in my head… What the hell is wrong with me? I find a new place to sit and sulk in my unhappiness and stay there behind the dumpsters by Degrassi for hours ignoring every call I get from my mother, Lydia, and Maya.

I don't want to talk to any of them… I want to sit here by myself and just yell. I realize that I'm overreacting, but I can't stop. I find myself getting more enraged with every passing moment and I don't know why… If I go home I might do something I regret so I stay here still trying to cool down.

**Okay... tell me what you think! Love you guys! **


	12. Chapter 12

**I am so sorry for taking so long to update. I am trying my best I swear! I know I shouldn't be making excuses, but I have to start my summer reading, and I just wont have a lot of time for fan fiction. I apologize to all of you. You are awesome! The most lovely readers a girl could ask for! I will try my best to kepp things updated at least once a week, but it's gettng difficult! Also, I decided to write this chapter from Maya's perspective because I just couldn't get into the Cam head space. I am sorry if you hate it. Please let me know!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi**

Maya's POV

He hasn't called or texted anyone since I made him angry at the field, and I'm scared. He told me he wasn't going to hurt himself, but I really don't know… I'm no shrink, but he's never raised his voice at me like that, and I don't know what other out of character behavior this could cause.

I shouldn't have been so stupid. Why would I argue with him when I knew he was so upset, and then there's his anxiety disorder to think about. I made things worse…

I probably should be crying because I'm upset about the fight or angry at him, but I'm not. I'm crying because I'm worried. I may have only been dating him for a day, but I love him… I've always loved him. It might not have been in the way a girlfriend loves a boyfriend, and it still might not be, but I know that I care about Cam more than I care about most people in my life. I know that Cam loves me, and I know that he almost always makes me feel safe.

I couldn't handle it if something happened to him because I made him feel like everyone is against him. I try calling him for what seems like the hundredth time, and there is no answer. The call goes straight to voicemail, and I worry more.

Of course it is likely that his phone died, but that isn't my first thought. I wonder if he got angry and threw it, or if he did something that hurt himself and the phone.

My heart races and my head hurt at all of the terrible thoughts racing through my uneasy mind. I guarantee I wouldn't be this crazy worried if he didn't have a mental illness or if his dad hadn't committed suicide just a few years ago.

This will never be a normal relationship. I'm always going to worry about him, and from now on I am going to be careful to not set him off. This probably wasn't the best idea, agreeing to date Campbell after he told me that he had an anxiety disorder, but he's such a great person and he loves me… at least he did. I don't know if that changes after stupid fights like this.

"Maya, I'm gonna go look for him. You wanna help?" Lydia asks walking over to me on my front porch where I have been crying the last couple of hours. I nod my head quickly and follow the older girl to her car.

"Do you have any ideas of where he might be?" Lydia asks obviously not as worried as I am."No clue" I tell her as she takes the car out of park and starts down the vacant evening roads. Its 9 and I haven't seen him since this afternoon at the field.

"I'm so mad at him. Why must he be so stubborn? It's not that big of a deal. So our mom wants to go on a date… who cares? He just has to be a child about everything. Can he not see that being alone is hard on her?" Lydia rants as we drive slowly around the neighborhood knowing that he wouldn't have left the 3 mile radius around our homes.

"He doesn't mean any harm, Lydia. He's really upset, and I made it worse." I groan sadly looking out the window.

"What do you mean?" she asks raising her eyebrow at me. I didn't even tell them that I saw him earlier. I figured he didn't want anyone to know.

"I saw him earlier, and I told him that he was being ridiculous. He screamed at me, and went off somewhere else." I tell her sadly feeling completely awful for not following him.

"Oh shit... should I not be bringing you?" she asks jokingly lightening the mood in the car a lot. "He just doesn't get it. He's mad at all of us. Don't worry so much. I'm sure he's fine. The only reason I'm out looking for him is because my mom told me to." Lydia tells me putting a hand on my shoulder reassuringly, but it doesn't really help.

"He scared me. It wasn't like him at all. You don't think he would hurt himself do you?" I ask his sister sadly. She knows him better than I do after all.

"No… He would never." She continues driving along the ever darkening road.

After checking all of the places we could think of and not finding him I could tell that Lydia was getting worried. Seeing her worried makes me more worried than I am, and I honestly have no idea where he could be.

"We should check the school." I suggest to Lydia as we drive away from the field where we thought he might have returned to. She nods her head and speeds away to the Degrassi parking lot.

"Cam!" Lydia calls worriedly getting out of the car and slamming the door quickly. I search around the grounds for him as Lydia does, and we keep calling for him with no luck.

I hear a stir from behind the dumpsters and figure that it is just an animal until I see a red hood sticking out.

"Cam?" I say walking closer to the pungent smelling green dumpster. When the hood moves again I rush behind the dumpster and see him sitting there with a frown.

"You found me… you win!" he yells exasperatedly rolling his eyes at me. I don't even care that he is still angry with me. I'm just so relieved to see he is okay. A smile spreads across my face as I fall down to my knees and wrap my arms around the boy leaning against the back of the dumpster.

"I'm so happy you're okay!" I tell him as I hold tightly around his shoulders. He looks at me confusedly raising one of his adorable eyebrows and I just keep hugging him.

"I yelled at you… Why are you hugging me?" he asks me obviously puzzled by my gesture.

I smile at him holing back m tears of relief from finding him. "I was worried." I mention finally letting him go from my tight embrace, but grabbing his hand in my own as to not let him go completely.

"I'm so sorry for earlier. I shouldn't have gotten involved. It's none of my business." I apologize to him hoping that he isn't angry at me anymore. He nods his head solemnly and squeezes my hand gently.

"What the fuck, Cam! I was getting worried!" Lydia yells finding us behind the dumpster. I let go of his hand quickly not wanting Lydia to see us in even an innocent romantic position such as that. Cam stands up and nervously bites his lip and I follow his lead getting up from the dirty cold ground.

"Sorry." He apologizes to his sister walking past her in the direction of the car. "Sorry? Mom had to cancel her stupid date! She's out looking for you too!" Lydia yells at him angrily.

I wish she would let him be, but I know I shouldn't intervene. I just don't want him running off again… I sit next to Cam in the back seat and Lydia lectures him the whole way home about how it's not okay to run off like that, and to not tell anyone where he is going.

He stares out the window sadly and I close my eyes just hoping that Lydia's yelling would stop. When the car takes a turn and halts I open my eyes to see that we are back at home, but Lydia is still yelling at Cam as he stares into space with those brown eyes that scream sadness. Poor Campbell…

He exits the car slamming the door behind him and rushing into his house clearly distraught at all of the yelling, and Lydia scoffs and rolls her eyes starting to get out.

"Lydia, do you think you could maybe not yell at him so much? I don't think its helping." I mention skeptically opening the door to the car and exiting the car.

"I guess. Mom will deal with him as soon as she gets back. I need to call her and tell her we found him." Lydia adds rushing into her house and leaving me standing in the dark by myself.

I don't know if I am supposed to go home now or what, but I would much rather talk to Cam about everything so I walk into the Saunders house hesitantly not want to intrude too badly.

I see Lydia on the phone in the kitchen with her back turned to me, and decide to go up the stairs where I figure Cam is to see him. I quickly make my way to the bedroom that I hadn't been in for a long time and see Cam laying on his bed with his hands over his face.

I walk over to his side and sit down on the edge next to him and he looks up at me startled.

"Hey…" I greet with a sympathetic frown. He looks up at me with those dark brown eyes that are red from tears, and my heart hurts for him.

Yes, he scared everyone, but he really didn't deserve his sister's freak out either.

"I'm not allowed to have girls in my room." He tells me with a frown.

"Since when?" I ask him with a small smile thinking of the countless sleepovers we had had in here n this bed.

"Since I hit puberty." He replies watching me. "Oh… well I'm not trying to jump you right now. I just want to talk." I tell him nudging him over slightly.

He chuckles slightly, and I am happy that I can put a smile on his face even though I'm not really sure why he is laughing.

"Jump me? Really?" he asks humorously. "You would never!" he adds laughing at me.

"Wow… You laughing at me bringing it up makes me not want to. I guess we're never going to do it then." I add giggling going to tickle his side with my hand. He laughs at the tickling for half of a second when his mom walks in.

"You better not! Not until you're married!" she scolds, and I instantly get super embarrassed and scared that she's going to tell my mom that I said that.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Saunders. I was just joking!" I say standing up as I tremble in my mortification.

"We'll have that talk another day. You should go home, Maya. It's nearly 11, and Campbell is in a lot of trouble." She adds looking at her son with a frown before giving me a small and very fake smile.

I just made Mrs. Saunders hate me. Oh my god. What is wrong with me? Why would I even bring up sex? I've been dating Cam for like 5 minutes… He probably thinks I'm a whore now. His mom will probably never let me come over again.

I walk out the door with probably the reddest face I've ever had, and make my way to my house where my parents are sitting in the living room watching TV.

"Maya, how did everything go? Did Cam come back?" my dad asks curiously as I walk up the stairs.

"Lydia and I went looking for him. We found him. He's fine!" I tell them nervously hoping that they don't ask me anything else.

"I'm glad honey! It's so great that you're friends with him again. We've always liked that boy. We should start back up with the Saunders/ Matlin barbeques this summer." My dad smiles happily.

"Yeah… sure!" I tell them just wanting to get out of there and to my bedroom. "Ooh! You should ask him to come over for dinner tomorrow night!" my mom adds giddily.

"Okay" I agree before running up to my bedroom.

I should probably tell my parents that Cam and I are more than friends… I should probably tell them that Zig and I broke up and that Tori isn't my friend anymore, but this is all happening really fast and I can barely keep up with this myself.

When I finally get upstairs, I collapse onto my bed and think about how much of a whore Mrs. Saunders probably thinks I am… Oh god why am I so stupid? What would even bring me to say that to him?

I mean sure I have thought about it, and what t would be like a bunch of times. I'm a teenager it's bound to cross my mind at some point, but most girls have a brain and don't talk about it after 24 hours of being a couple.

He didn't seem to be bothered by it though. His mom was angry, but Cam didn't even make a weird face at me.

Maybe I'm overreacting… Mrs. Saunders will probably just tell us that she doesn't want us doing that, and it will be the end of it… or she won't even let me talk to him anymore.

Her face when she walked in was so angry. I should call Cam and ask what happened. One problem… his phone is dead.

I call him at midnight and he doesn't answer… he had plugged his phone in and turned it on, but he didn't bother to answer.

Chill Matlin… He's probably sleeping. Call him in the morning and see how much his mother despises you now…

I hope his mom didn't yell at him like Lydia did. He's so upset about everything and I hate seeing him so sad. It breaks my heart…

I start getting ready for bed when my phone starts buzzing on my bed. Please be Cam! I rush over to my bed from my bathroom and I am sad to see that it's a text from my sister.

"CALL ME NOW!" the text reads in all caps. I know that she's in a different time zone, but seriously? I'm usually sleeping by now. I dial the familiar cell phone number and she picks p on the first ring.

"Maya, why is Lydia telling me that her mom caught you in Campbell's room talking about sex?" my sister answers angrily.

"Not even a hello?" I joke nervously… Oh my gosh. Dating one of your sister's best friends little brothers is going to be difficult. Everything gets back to her.

"Maya, you're 15! You better not be thinking about having sex! You just called me last night to tell me that you two were dating!" my sister yells shocked at me.

"I was just joking!" I yell back at my older sister not believing that she wanted me to call her so that she could berate me about something so stupid.

I can tell that she is shaking her head at me in disbelief with the way she is huffing. I know my sister and all of her mannerisms. "I would beat you if I were home right now! You're just a kid! You don't joke about that with your boyfriend! It might put ideas in his head!" Katie yells at me angrily as if she thinks I am the stupidest person on the face of the earth.

I scoff at this angry, overprotective Katie that I know so well. If she knew that I wasn't a virgin I wonder what she would say… I don't even care anymore honestly.

"Well, he laughed at me when I brought it up, and I doubt Mrs. Saunders will ever let me talk to him again after hearing me… Don't worry about my life! You have our own to worry about!" I tell her back exasperated before hanging up…

Katie is insane! It's not like Cam is some stupid jerk! He's Campbell, a boy she has known his entire life. She's wanted me to date him for years and now that I am she I going to reprimand me about some silly little conversation.

This is ridiculous! She isn't exactly a role model when it comes to dating guys! She dated a guy who broke up with her the day after she had sex with him… I'm not exactly any better…

Tears trickle down my face as I think of how 2 weeks ago I was completely happy with Zig. I loved him…Heck, I love him. I know I shouldn't and I know I have Cam, but I do love him.

He broke my heart and humiliated me, but I still have unresolved feelings for the ass wipe that I used to call my boyfriend. Why did he have to sleep with Tori? I think that if it were just some random I could forgive him, but my best friend?

No, Maya! Stop! You can't even think about Zig or how much you thought you loved him. Cam, the boy you liked for years is finally looking your way, and he even told you that he's in love with you. The feeling will come back despite how much you swept them under the rug. You have to admit that kissing Campbell felt better than every kiss you shared with Zig!

He's adorable, but it's new and awkward being with him… It will subside soon enough, and it will be a next to normal relationship… if you don't do anything to set him off.

Don't do anything to set him off!

**Alright, what do we think? Should I write from Maya's point of view more often or just stick with Cam's? Let me know guys! I'll try my best to update soon, but I have a busy couple of weeks ahead of me! Please forgive me for taking so long! I am so sorry! Review, favorite, and follow! Love you all a ton!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi guys! Sorry that I haven't updated in forever. I've been kind of busy. Anyway, this chapter switches between Maya and Cam's POV. I hope you like it. Please tell me what you think when you're done reading. I will only update again if I have 10 reviews. Don;t let me down guys! lol Thanks for the feedback on the last chapter. It really helps to motivate me!**

**Disclaimer: I don;t own degrassi**

Cam's POV

After the most boring Sunday that I have ever lived through, I walk into school looking for Maya. My sister told me that she called and texted like a billion times, but I got my phone taken away for the entire week and I haven't been able to respond.

Looking around quickly in all areas of the school's foyer I spot Maya talking to Dan.

"Hey M, I'm so sorry I didn't text you back. My mom took my phone away for the week. Lydia told me that you called." I apologize sincerely biting my lip. Please forgive me!

"I figured that after you didn't call me back all day Sunday." She smiles looking happy to see me as she moves her books to her other hand and laces her fingers in mine.

My heart races at the contact between us. It is a very mild form of PDA, but still PDA none the less. It feels good, but at the same time nerve wrecking.

"Ooh… when did this become a thing?" Dan asks curiously in an exaggeratedly feminine voice as Maya swings our hands slightly before answering "Friday".

"Was it this guy protecting your honor at my party? I bet it was!"Dan laughs patting me on the back. "That a boy you little knight in shining armor!" the boy with gelled hair jokes before walking toward his first class.

We start toward French class hand in hand and Maya starts talking. "How much does your mother hate me after Saturday night?" she asks with a sad frown.

"She doesn't hate you. I told her that you were just kidding. Maya, how could you think my mom would ever hate you? She thinks of you as her own kid." I tell Maya laughing at her anxiousness regarding the whole thing.

"Don't say that. It makes me feel like this is incest." Maya giggles clearly relieved that my mom doesn't hate her.

"You're too cute!" I tell her chuckling at her adorable giggle. Is it a thing that when you are dating someone that everything they do becomes incredibly adorable? I mean it already was, but especially now.

"You're nuts!" she laughs swinging our hands back and forth as we walk down the hall.

We stop at our lockers and get the things that we need, and I notice that Maya is wearing a dress. She rarely wears dresses, but it does look very nice on her. "You're wearing a dress?" I raise my eyebrows at her as I grab my French II book.

She sighs before responding "I look silly don't I? It's Katie's. I didn't have anything clean so I raided the stuff she left. I knew I should have just worn a belt with her jeans." She groans looking down at her outfit and obviously feeling self conscious.

"No, you look beautiful just like always." I grin at her examining the blue polka dot dress. She actually looks really great in it. She looks great in everything, but I don't know. The way it's tailored shows off her shape and her legs.

"Well, thanks." She says as a blush comes across her face. "Stop staring though! I feel so self conscious, and you're not helping." She mentions closing her locker door.

"Sorry" I apologize taking her by the hand again as we walk down the hall toward our first class.

"So how was your Sunday?" I ask her curiously in an attempt to fill the awkward slence that had fallen over us.

"I stayed home worrying about why you weren't responding to any of my calls or texts. It was so fun!" she jokes nudging my arm with her elbow.

"I'm so sorry Maya. Trust me I would've much rather been spending the day talking to you. I was stuck in my room without anything to do." I say sadly thinking about my crappy Sunday.

"Well nothing beats Saturday night. Katie tells me to call her at like midnight, and I do. She just yelled at me for like an hour about what happened with your mom in your room. It's going to be crazy dating you. Everything gets back to my sister and eventually my mom." She laughs rolling her eyes.

"You know what; I'm not taking the blame for this. It's not my fault that you went in my room and talked about… that." I respond giggling, and she hits my arm lightly.

"I hate you!" she giggles walking down the hall backwards watching me until she eventually runs into someone. "Oh my god. I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." She apologizes to the tall dark haired boy as he turns around.

"Actually, I'm not sorry." She corrects after she notices she had bumped into none other than Zigmund Novak. Maya shies away from the boy glaring down at her and over to my side.

His black eye is nearly completely healed, and he watches the two of us with anger in his green eyes. "What are you two going out now?" he asks harshly gesturing to our joined hands. How did I not notice her grab my hand?

"Yep!" Maya rebuts scowling at Zig and squeezing my hand tightly. I can't tell if the moisture is coming from my hand, her hand or both, but someone is sweating profusely. My heart is pounding in my chest as I fear his initial reaction will be to punch me or something. Yes, I can take him, but I don't want to get in any more trouble. I'm already grounded for a week.

Zig rolls his eyes as a semblance of hurt crosses his expression. "Whatever!" he adds walking away to his next class as the warning bell sounds.

We turn into the French classroom and Maya lets go of my hand wiping her own on her dress.

"Sorry" I apologize figuring that it was my hands that were sweating as my heart rate goes back to normal.

"It's okay." She grins making her way to her seat. I sit down next to Gabby and she grins at me knowingly. "OMG! Were you guys holding hands? Awe! Did you get your girl?" she coos excitedly. I nod my head smiling at the overly excited for me girl.

"That's so great!" she laughs loudly and causing Maya to turn around and glance at us. I smile and wave at the blonde girl who hates her French seat since she stopped being friends with Tori as she shoots me a fake smile.

"When did this happen? Give me details!" Gabby grins enthusiastically.

"Friday, and I don't know. We were sitting on my front steps and we kissed and she agreed to date me. It was pretty straight forward." I tell her blushing as I try to explain.

"Awe! You guys are cute!" she giggles as Madam Jean-Aux walks in front of the class and starts.

"Bonjour classe." Madam Jean-Aux greets happily signaling the beginning of her lesson.

Maya's POV

Sitting by Tori in 2 of my classes and by Zig in another is complete torture. All French class Tori and Tristan were chatting up a storm as I sat there quietly refraining from gouging her eyes out. Of course Tristan would take her side on this, and ditch me. They may have been best friends since they were little and I may have just joined their little group in the sixth grade, but I thought we had been through enough that maybe Tristan would stick with me on this one.

I mean I didn't do anything wrong. She had sex with my boyfriend, and just started ignoring me the minute I found out about it. I haven't even had the chance to tell her off. I can't believe that she would do that after all we've been through.

I'm also realizing how incredibly annoying she is. Her voice literally makes me sick to my stomach at this point. I can't stand it.

Geometry with Tori as my partner makes me want to die. I am forced to talk to her for the first time since I found out about what she did to me, and she scoffs at me like she is better than me. Slut!

"What did you get for number 11?" I ask her curiously through gritted teeth as Mr. Olsen walks by us while we are supposed to be going over homework problems.

"Yes proven by Angle, Side, Side congruency conjecture." She answers with a monotone popping her gum. "What about you?"

"No because Angle, Side, Side isn't a congruency conjecture." I tell her pointing to the list of conjectures in my notes.

"Oh." She pops her gum erasing her answer and popping her gum again. "Idiot" I mumble under my breath irritated at the fact that she can't even check her stupid list to see if she did her homework right.

"You're an idiot!" she rebuts a bit too loudly. Wow… the best come back she can come up with is calling me what I called her. She really is stupid. "At least I know how to do simple math." I shrug smugly looking at my paper.

She rolls her eyes at me popping her gum again and I finally crack. "Could you quit with the gum?" I ask her clutching my pencil tightly in my closed fist.

"Make me!" she comments with a satisfied grin as she pops her gum several more times.

"Why was I ever friends with you? You're annoying and a slut!" I say angrily, but still quiet enough not to draw attention to us.

"I am not a slut!" she responds with her jaw dropped.

"What do you call sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend?" I ask her frowning.

"I was drunk. I didn't mean to. I like Cam!" she claims in a scream whisper.

"I don't care if you didn't mean to. You did, and you should probably know… I'm dating Cam now." I tell her with a satisfied smile of my own as hurt comes across her face.

"You're dating him just to get back at me and Zig? That's cruel!" she rebuts giving me a disappointed glare. She thinks she has this all figured out just like Zig.

"You know what Tori? The whole world doesn't revolve around you. I'm dating him because I like him not just to spite you." I retort as harshly as possible.

"Then why are you still mad about the Zig thing?" she questions annoyed at me.

"Because you're a bitch and a whore and I can't believe I wasted so much of my life being friends with you!" I retort a bit too loudly causing groups around us to watch in shock.

She stands up and spits in my face before going to walk away. No freaking way did she just spit on me? I pull her hair as she tries to walk away and she grabs a hold of mine as she turns around not believing that I was stooping to her level.

Before I know it Tori is tackling me to the floor and scratching me with her long nails as she calls out all sorts of profanities. I fight back to the best of my ability, but my nails are short from years of guitar playing and can't do the same damage.

"Ooh! Girl fight!"The familiarly obnoxious voice of Tyler calls from a few feet over as Mr. Olsen tries to pull Tori off of me.

"Girls! Principal's office! Now!" Mr. Olsen demands after separating us and allowing us some time to regain composure.

Once inside Mr. Simpson's office I watch the wall behind the bald man looking at us disappointedly.

"What exactly happened here?" he asks us as we both start our explanations. "She started it. She spit on me!" I say as Tori rambles giving her own version of what happened.

"Okay, one at a time. Maya you start." Mr. Simpson demands pointing at me.

"We were arguing and she just stood up and spit in my face so almost like a reflex I grabbed her hair. Then she just like attacked me!" I explain frowning as Tori scoffs at what I have to say.

"She called me a whore and a bitch and a slut. How am I supposed to react?"Tori groans annoyed rolling her eyes at me.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have sex with someone else's boyfriend!" I turn to her holding myself back from tackling her.

"Alright girls, I'm not in the mood for dealing with this. Fighting is not a way to deal with your personal issues especially in a school setting. You're both suspended for the rest of the day and you both have 2 weeks of detention when you come back!" Mr. Simpson tells us gaining yet another signature eye roll from Tori and a sad nod from me.

"Go wait outside my office while I call your parents." Mr. Simpson instructs pointing to the door.

"This is all your fault!" Tori adds arms crossed over her chest as she sits on the bench outside of the office.

"My fault? You spit in my face!" I remind her scowling at the girl.

Once my father comes to get me I sit beside him in the passenger's seat as he rants about how fighting isn't an option and that if I have an issue I should talk about it.

"Why were you fighting with Tori anyway? She's your best friend." My dad mentions puling n the driveway as he gives me a disapproving frown.

"Not anymore. She's a whore. I hate her and I hate Zig. That is why I've been hanging out with Cam again. Zig cheated on me with Tori." I tell my dad before getting out of the car and stomping up to my bedroom.

My mom eventually comes into my bedroom to find me crying into my pillow.

"Hey Maya, your dad told me what happened. Do you wanna talk about it?" she asks curiously wheeling into my room.

"Am I in trouble for getting suspended?" I ask sitting up and holding my pillow close to me.

"We'll talk about that later. Right now I want to hear what happened." She smiles sympathetically at me putting her hand on my knee.

"When we were in Ottawa" I sniffle as the tears start down my cheeks. "Zig slept with Tori at a party." I cry into my pillow as my mom looks at me wide eyed.

"Slept with?" she asks shocked as I nod sadly. "And then Cam punched him in the face, and told me what happened, and I didn't listen, but when I asked Zig about it I could tell he was lying." I continue with the tears coming steadily down my face.

"And then on Friday Cam kissed me, and now I'm kind of dating him." I tell her wiping my eyes as I think of Cam and how he has been a constant in all of this. He has his issues, but I'm so very happy that I have a friend on my side.

"Oh… My goodness, Maya, way to keep us updated." My mother sighs sadly for me.

"So… you aren't sexually active are you?" my mother asks worriedly looking at me.

I swallow loudly trying to decide what to say. She has never asked me this before, and I suck at lying. She can see right through me. "Not currently." I reply guiltily looking at the pillow not able to look at her inevitable disappointment.

She raises her eyebrows rubbing her head confusedly "Meaning you have had sex?" she asks me with concern and slight anger in her voice.

I start crying yet again hugging my pillow to my chest before replying "I'm sorry mommy."

She gives me that disappointed look, and I just hold the pillow tighter. "I promise you it wasn't my idea. I didn't want to." I tell her crying into the pillow as she looks at me with wide eyes again.

"Maya, what do you mean you didn't want to?" she asks me in a very concerned tone. Now she thinks I was raped too. Holy crap just because I didn't want to do it doesn't mean that it was rape.

"I thought that if I didn't he was going to get it somewhere else, and I love him. He told me that if I loved him I would do it." I explain sadly feeling extremely awkward talking to my mother about this.

She has a shocked expression on her face as she rubs my knee reassuringly. "Honey, don't you ever let a boy pressure you into doing that ever again! It's not okay." She says holding her arms out to hug me.

I lean down and hug my mother glad that she is being so forgiving. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this.

"You used protection right?" she asks me still worried letting go of me as sit back down on my bed. I nod at her sadly, and she frowns. "I'm sorry that happened to you, baby girl. It'll be okay." She assures me sincerely.

"Should I have a talk with Mrs. Novak about it?" she asks and I shake my head quickly. I just want to forget about it.

"Alright honey, dinner will be ready soon. You might want to come down." She smiles at me wheeling out.

"Mommy" I say having one thing left to say. "Yes?" she asks turning her chair slightly. "Can we not tell dad? I don't want him to hate me." I plead sadly hoping that she agrees to keep this quiet.

"He wouldn't hate you, but we don't have to tell him." She smiles exiting my room.

I have the best mom ever. How did I get so lucky? I wash my face in my bathroom that I used to share with Katie, and make sure that all of the mascara remnants are off of my face. I go downstairs and eat dinner with my parents, and surprisingly my father doesn't bring up anything about my suspension.

Instead they talk about how Katie is coming back next week. It reminds me that I only have about 3 weeks left of school myself. Yay! It's hard to believe that I'm almost a junior. It feels like just yesterday that I was starting kindergarten.

Those were the days. No worrying about anything and everyone was one hundred percent themselves because they didn't know how to be anything else.

I had those dorky pigtails and those dorkier glasses, but things were so much easier. No boy drama… no friend drama. Forget ignorance is bliss. Innocence is bliss.

Cam's POV

"I wish I could text Maya to find out what happened earlier. Tyler told me that there was a fight between her and Tori, but I'm not allowed to talk to her about it because I'm grounded. This completely sucks. I sit at home doing my homework waiting for Lydia or Brady to get home from whatever they are doing so that I have someone to talk to.

This is seriously going to be the worst week of my life… I can't talk to Maya and I can't do anything, but sit in my room waiting for it to be over.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi guys! I got my 10 reviews. It took some time, but you did it! Thanks for all of the lovely feedback. I just want you to know that sometimes I just start crying because I love you all so much. I'm not even kidding. I'm very overly emotional, and you guys just make my life happy.**

**Disclaimer: I don;t own degrassi or Harry Potter**

**This chapter is exclusively Cam's POV again. I was going to switch it up, but I forgot.**

"You got into a fight?" I ask Maya worriedly as I walk toward the girl examining her for any sign of injury.

"We fight like girls. I have a scratch on my arm, but that's about it." She sighs showing me her arm quickly obviously noticing that I was looking.

"So you're alright?" I ask her still slightly worried before she nods giggling at me.

"I'm fine. I'm pissed of that that bitch spit in my face and got me in trouble, but I'll get over it." Maya sighs turning to her locker and grabbing some books.

"What did I miss in Language arts?" she asks curiously fishing for things out of her locker.

"Not much… We started a new book. It's about the Holocaust. It's really sad." I tell her leaning against my locker as she closes hers.

"Oh… What's it called?" she questions nonchalantly starting down the hall toward French.

"I don't really remember." I tell her scratching the back of my head. "It's really short though. "

"That's good." She smiles as we walk down the hall.

"So… are you gonna ask Madam Jean-Aux to move your seat?" I ask Maya curiously knowing that it's probably not a good idea for Tori and her to stay next to each other. "If she doesn't then I will." She adds making it closer to the classroom.

Madam Jean-Aux moves Maya next Miles Hollingsworth III, the only guy in French who actually knows how to speak it.

I had never seen the two of them say two words to each other before today, but I'm not liking how he's looking at her. Her giggling at everything he says is also not helping. I'm just being crazy, right?

Of course… Cam, don't be that overly possessive boyfriend. Those relationships never last.

After class I walk over to where Maya and Miles are packing up their things and I talk to Miles for the first time ever because frankly, I think he's a douche bag, and he's not a person I care to associate myself with.

"Hey Maya... Miles." I wave to both of them nicely.

"Campbell right?" he asks raising his eyebrows at me as I nod my head. "So Maya, do you like sitting over here better?" I ask my girlfriend curiously not really caring to continue a conversation with snobby, rich boy, Miles.

"I do! Miles is actually very funny." She says smirking over at the taller boy. I'm gonna be sick. She's flirting with him right in front of me.

"Well, you're a lot cuter than Henry." He smiles at her and she starts giggling like an idiot.

"So… Maya, my beautiful girlfriend, would you like me to walk you to class?" I ask her putting emphasis on the word girlfriend. She gives me a weird face before saying. "I can walk myself to class. Thanks for the offer."

Miles laughs at her rejecting me, and I feel queasy. What is going on here? Maya can't like this dude. He's a total ass. He makes out with a new girl every week and Maya is not his next victim.

I wait for Maya to exit the classroom and follow her out. Do I confront her about it? I'm not stupid I can tell when people are flirting… and they were. I don't even know if Maya realized it, but she was hanging on his every word.

Why can't she be that way with me? I guess we've known eah other too long to act stupid… I'm actually glad that she's already comfortable around me. It makes things easier, but still… she can't like another dude. We just started dating a few days ago.

I go to gym and decide to ask Miles's best friend, Winston Chu aka Chewy a thing or two about Miles.

I know that he probably still hates me for pushing him, but it's a risk that I have to take.

"Hey Winston, um… can I talk to you for a sec?" I ask him curiously as we walk into the gym.

"That depends… are you going to shove me into more lockers?" he inquires raising his eyebrows at me.

"No… I'm sorry about that, man!" I tell him sincerely.

"Okay… what?" he asks wanting to know my intentions in talking to him.

"Um… Your friend Miles… I think he was flirting with Maya. Should I be worried?" I ask the small Asian boy worriedly, and he nods in response.

"You should be very worried. Miles gets whatever he wants… always." Chewy tells me as we sit down on the bleachers waiting for the teacher to tell us what we're doing.

"Well… can you find out if he has his eyes on Maya?" I beg Chewy swallowing loudly, and he responds."He has his eyes on her. I'm pretty sure that he saw the pictures… Don't hit me!" Winston continues flinching as I slam my fist onto my leg harshly.

"I'm not going to hit you. I'm disgusted. This is such a mess. Zig is an ass. No offense, but Miles is also an ass! Who tries to steal some other guy's girlfriend?" I ask rhetorically not wanting an answer.

"You kind of did." Winston continues looking at me curiously.

I didn't steal Maya. Did I? Zig lost her and I was the first one there to help her. I love her. If anything… he stole her from me when he asked her out. I don't care if I never told him how I felt about her. He had to have known.

"It's different!" I tell Winston rolling my eyes at his comment as we are instructed to go out in the field and play ultimate Frisbee.

At lunch I sit with Maya and she acts normally at first.

"Cam, did I do something? You seem upset." Maya tells me concerned as we sit at a table eating.

"I think that Miles likes you, and you were being kind of flirty this morning." I tell her to get it off of my chest… "It's been bugging me all day." I tell her sadly.

"I wasn't flirting. Miles is nice, but Cam, you're so much nicer and cuter and we just started dating. Don't worry about that crap. I'm all in!" she laughs not being able to believe what I had told her.

It's reassuring. I have to admit that… I believe her.

"Alright… I was hoping you'd say something along those lines. Winston says he probably is trying to get with you, but I trust you. You're smart and you wouldn't hurt me, right?" I ask still a bit nervous.

"I wouldn't… and I highly doubt that Miles wants anything to do with me. I'm nerdy and he could have any girl he wanted." She tells me trying to comfort me. It doesn't work.

"So you think he's attractive?" I ask her curiously, and she frowns at me.

"Of course I think he's attractive, but you're more attractive. It's a miracle that you're dating me. I'm still convinced that it's a fluke." She laughs grabbing my hand on the table.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Maya. You're the only girl that I have eyes for. It's been that way for a long time." I smile at her and she rolls her eyes at me.

"Pa-Lease!" she groans grinning at me.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused. It's the truth.

"I heard about you and Gabby at that party! You freaking hooked up with her, and I'm not complaining about you talking to her and all of that jazz!" she says laughing at me and I shake my head quickly.

"I didn't hook up with her. I've never had sex!" I tell Maya quickly taking any thoughts of what she had heard out of her head.

"Really? Not even oral?" she rebuts giggling and my face turns red. Did Maya just refer to oral sex without giving it a second thought?

"I knew it! Was it Gabby? Was it that girl you dated for five minutes freshman year? Oh my gosh! It was… wasn't it?" she continues curiously not even feeling embarrassed when talking about it. How is she so… like this?

"Not even that!" I tell her shocked with wide eyes.

"Come on, Cam! Are you seriously 100% virginal?" she asks shocked as I nod my head.

"Does it bother you that I'm not?" she asks quietly, and I shake my head.

"Okay… maybe a little bit, but it's no big deal. You can't change it." I tell her with a frown.

There is an awkward silence that falls between us, and it is clear that neither of us know what to say until she finally speaks up. "I'm sorry." She tells me sadly and I shake my head at her.

"Don't be." I tell her with a smile. "You done?" I ask her gesturing to her tray and she nods. I get up and toss both of the trays away before returning to Maya and Miles who had taken my seat.

"What's going on here?" I ask with a smile as Maya stands up and grabs my hand. "Miles was just telling me some stupid story about his dog" she comments pulling me out of the caf doors.

"Yeah… you're right. Dude's totally into me." She tells me pulling me through the hall.

"Where are we going?" I ask her curiously as we pass our lockers and keep going.

"The garden! I want to be alone. It's a nice place to go, right?" she asks me curiously as we exit the doors and head over to one of the many unoccupied benches.

"She pulls me down next to her and starts talking quickly. "I want to murder Zig! I can't believe I ever dated such a scum bag." Maya groans as she looks like she's going to cry.

"I'm pretty sure every guy in our grade has seen me naked. Why is he such an ass?" she says wiping a tear from her eyes. "I haven't" I tell her optimistically hoping it makes her feel better. I've seen her close to naked, but never fully nude. I stopped myself when watching her changing through the window. I feel like such a creep for that.

"You're the only guy that I wouldn't mind seeing me like that yet I look like a whore now because everyone has seen it." She cries pulling herself over to my shoulder and crying.

"What brought this on?" I ask her concerned rubbing her back reassuringly, and she looks at me sadly.

"Miles made a comment about my birthmark on my stomach." She tells me sadly wiping her tears.

"The one shaped like a lopsided lightning bolt?" I ask her remembering the mark and how I used to call her "The Chosen one" because of it. Harry Potter was always one of our favorites and it was funny to me that she had a lightning shaped marking.

"So you did see the pictures?" she asks whining, and I shake my head at her.

"I've seen you in a two piece chosen one!" I laugh poking her stomach where the marking lays.

"I forgot about that!" she giggles pushing hair behind her ears.

"How? You seem to remember everything else." I laugh loving the smile that I brought back to her face. "Don't worry about the stupid jerks, Maya. So what if they saw a stupid picture? They'll forget about it. The picture is gone, and it will all blow over eventually." I tell her still rubbing her back.

She sniffles one last time before looking into my eyes and pressing her lips against mine giving me a very gentle kiss that gives me butterflies.

"You always make me feel better." She tells me squeezing my hand.

"Well, I'm happy to help." I tell her standing up and pulling her with me by our still joined hands.

We walk hand in hand to language arts and I feel a new sense of happiness as people give us looks. We keep holding hands not letting them phase us, and when we get to class we sit in our seats waiting for class to start smiling at each other from across the room.

Saturday…

I'm going over to Maya's house tonight. I'm not grounded anymore and her parents are out going to get Katie from the airport she flew to in New York. I knock on the door a few times holding the second and forth Harry Potter movies in my hand remembering that they were her favorites.

She opens the door wearing pajama short shorts and a low cut t-shirt and I wonder. What is she trying to do here?

"Come in!" she tells me holding the door and taking the movies out of my hand.

"Ooh! You brought 'The Goblet of Fire'! I love you!" she says surveying the DVD cover as she pushes me into the living room. It's been a long while since I've been here in this house, but not much has changed. The couches are different, but the same pictures are up, and for the most part… it looks exactly like the Matlin house I remember.

"Okay… So do you want to watch this down here or in my room?" she asks me curiously still looking excited that I brought it.

Did she just ask that? Wouldn't her parents have an issue with me being in her room? Does she not have rules?

"I'm your boyfriend, and they wouldn't care that I was in your room?" I ask her raising an eyebrow and she quickly shakes her head. "We could do anything that we would do in there down here. They trust you… You're a 'good kid'. That's why they let me have you over when they weren't going to be here." She explains with a smile.

"Oh… That means a lot. I love your parents… I don't care where we watch it. You pick." I tell her rubbing the back of my head as she turns around and starts up the stairs.

"My room it is!" she says running up the stairs with me following a couple paces behind.

When we walk into her room I see that this room has changed a lot. I had seen parts of the change through the window, but it's still very drastic. No longer are her walls floral printed. They're a pink color instead, and her bed spread is striped with pink and white.

It's more grown up for sure. She has candles lit on her dresser which makes me think that she knew that we would be watching the movie up here.

She quickly puts the DVD into the player and turns the TV on getting it ready for the movie. "Sit down!" she instructs me as I nervously look at her double bed wishing that she still had a bean bag chair that I could sit on instead.

I sit on the front corner of her bed as she turns the light off making the room extremely dark aside from the TV light and the candle light.

Climbing on her bed she leans herself against her head board before telling me "You just gonna sit down there? That's no fun. Get over here. Get comfy."

She pats the bed next to her and I hesitantly scoot up sitting beside her as the movie starts and she leans her head on my shoulder watching it carefully.

What was I worried about? This is Maya. She would never miss Harry Potter.

We watch the entire movie getting up a few times to get a drink or a snack, and then we are alone… in her room, in her bed, watching some dumb TV show that neither of us cares about.

Now I can be worried… She sits up taking her head off of my shoulder and flicks the TV off.

"This show is boring. Anything else you wanna do?" she asks with a flirty smile gently moving her hand up my leg.

"Um… we could watch 'Chamber of Secrets'." I tell her awkwardly gulping loudly in the dark room.

"Or… I could open up your chamber of secret!" she says seductively. Was that supposed to be sexy? I didn't find it sexy… It was a bit of an awkward statement.

She catches me off guard and presses her lips to mine moving her head closer to mine quite a bit. She even slips her tongue into my mouth which is a weird sensation, but still nice. I reciprocate to the best of my ability not really knowing what to do as she climbs on my lap straddling my waste similarly to how Gabby did at that party.

The only difference here is that I don't want to stop her. We keep going and I'm pretty sure my heart is skipping every other beat. It's crazy how she does this to me.

She intertwines her fingers in my hair roughly and desperately pulling my lips to hers.

"I love you!" she tells me as she pulls away gasping for air. Hearing her tell me that she loves me makes me happy. I mean I knew that she loved me, but it feels like the relationship love when we're in this position.

"I love you too!" I respond before she comes back for my lips but the time keeping her hand in front of her on my chest. She struggles blindly at the buttons on my shirt and I fear that she is trying to take this a bit further than what I'm ready for.

Making out is great… A little groping… encouraged, but I'm not ready for sex, and I doubt she is either. She probably just wants to do it so Zig's not the only person who she's been with.

"I'm not ready" I tell her as she goes for my belt buckle with her fondling hands.

She pulls away her hands and asks "What's wrong?" in a hurt tone.

"I don't want to have sex." I tell her moving her hands away from my crotch area.

"Do you not want me?" she questions sadly climbing off of me, and staring down at her lap ashamedly.

"Of course I do… I just don't want to move too fast." I tell her buttoning my jeans back up.

"We've known each other forever, Cam. What's too fast about it?" she asks me dejectedly obviously feeling hurt by my rejecting her.

"We've been dating for 8 days, My. How is this not too fast?" I ask her standing up from her bed as I button my shirt back up.

"I don't know" she shrugs sadly starting to cry, and I feel very confused. How did this all lead to her crying?

"What's wrong, Maya?" I ask her worriedly sitting back down beside her and grabbing her hand in my own.

"Nothing" she tells me wiping her tears with her free hand and sniffling. That is obviously a lie.

"Maya, tell me!" I continue rubbing the top of her hand with my thumb.

"I don't want to." She continues crying before leaning on my shoulder and crying muffled sobs into my plaid shirt.

"Its okay" I comfort rubbing her back as she breaks down into me for god knows why. She doesn't seem upset with me. I mean she's crying into my shoulder, but what is bothering her?

"Please My, tell me what's wrong." I plead as she lifts her head from my shoulder.

She pauses wiping her tears before looking at me. "I feel so gross all of the time…I just want it to go away." She tells me sadly through her sobbing.

I frown sympathetically at her and scoot closer to her embracing her in a hug as she cries on my shoulder again.

She holds tightly to me crying and I can't believe how much this has all affected her.

"Is it the pictures?" I ask her shakily barely being able to breathe with how tightly she's holding my neck. I feel her head nod up and down and she continues crying.

She finally pulls away still crying and I hold her hand again. "Maya, like I said… everyone will forget about the pictures." I try to assure her, but it doesn't work.

"He slept with Tori even after I finally caved. I saw him looking at other girls and freaked. That is the only reason I even did it. If I would have known that it made no difference to him then I wouldn't have done it… I know Tori is a lot prettier than me, but I thought he loved me." She cries into her pillow clearly upset.

What do I even say to that? "Maya, I don't really know if I'm the person to talk to about this." I tell her awkwardly feeling really strange hearing her still angry about the Zig and Tori thing.

"I'm sorry" she apologizes hugging her pillow to her chest. "I don't have any other friends anymore." she continues sniffling sadly.

"Maya, don't be silly. You have lots of friends. You always have. Everyone loves you." I tell her with a smile putting my hand on her knee. She quickly shakes her head.

"None of them want anything to do with me anymore. They all sided with Tori, and you're the only person who cares about me anymore. I want to die." She cries clinging to her pillow for dear life.

"I highly doubt that." I tell her rubbing her back as she wipes her tears. She tosses her cell phone onto my lap and tells me to read the texts so I pick it up and scroll through her recent messages.

Wow… her so called friends are real bitches… "Whore", "Slut", "two- faced", and "Bitch" are all adjectives that occur more than once in her recent messages from girls who I thought were above such petty names.

"Maya, don't listen to them. You aren't any of those things. Don't let a few terrible things define you. You're so perfect. I'm hopelessly in love with you, but I can tell now that you aren't over Zig… Maybe we shouldn't be doing this." I tell her sadly still rubbing her back and she looks at me with wide eyes.

"I want to be with you!" she insists shocked that I would even suggest that we break up.

"I'm still upset that I got cheated on, but I've always wanted you." She tells me grabbing my hand with her tear dampened one.

That's reassuring. I hug her again, and she stifles her tears before pulling away.

"Please don't break up with me. I know that I'm not perfect, but I need you." She tells me sadly looking into my eyes with her puffy blue ones that look especially blue against the bloodshot veins in her eyes.

"I need you too" I tell her before moving n for a tender and gentle kiss. Her lips and face are hot and flushed from all of the crying, but she kisses me back tugging on my hair and moving her lips quickly and desperately in an attempt to get closer to me.

My mom texts my phone at 8 telling me to come home, but I ignore it for now. Maya needs me, and I'm not about to leave her after making out with her for the last hour.

"My mom wants me to come home, but I'll tell her my phone was on silent and we lost track of time." I tell Maya sticking my phone back in my pocket.

We end up watching "Chamber of Secrets", and I don't end up going home until nearly 11 after Maya falls asleep. I lock her front door as I cross the yard to my house.

I wonder why my mom wanted me home at 8… My curfew isn't usually until now.

**Thanks so much for reading! I hope you liked it. Love you all! Please let me know what you thought!**


	15. Chapter 15

**I am so sorry that it took me so long to update this. I got busy. I promise that I'm trying. Anyway, thanks for having so much patience as I take forever to update. I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for it. **

**I know you are all super Camaya fans so if you want to check out an awesome story you should read ChloeRM4's story "Little Talks". It's fabulous and you'll love it. Read it! You know you want to! :)**

**Enjoy the chapter. I threw in a curve ball, but not really. I don't know. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own degrassi.**

Walking into my home I am greeted by a sad tone in the air. My mom sits on the couch hugging Brady as Lydia sobs on the chair.

"What's wrong?" I ask them worriedly standing next to the chair where Lydia sits

"Your grandma Betty is very sick. She has fluid surrounding her heart. She's in the ICU." My mother tells me sadly rubbing a crying Brady's back as he sobs on her shoulder.

"Is she going to be okay?" I ask curiously as I begin to feel scared for my grandma's life.

My heart sinks as my mother slowly shakes her head. Tears well up in my eyes as I think about the old woman who I hadn't visited in some time. Lydia was always closest to her.

When dad died it hurt to go visit her. She always has pictures of him out. He was so happy all of the time when he was a kid. She also would always tell me how much I reminded her of him which was weird to me. I don't want to be compared to him. He killed himself.

Despite how much I avoided visiting her, I love my grandma. She's the nicest lady ever, and she isn't weird like some of my friend's grandparents… well ex friend's.

My vision blurs as I sit next to Lydia on the arm of the chair. I put an arm on my crying sisters back and she looks up at me with a red face stained with tears and contorted in a crazy position.

"I'm going to bring you kids to see her tomorrow. You can say your goodbyes." My mother tells us all sadly. She's clearly sadder for us than she is for her own loss. Our mom hasn't spoken to Grandma in quite a while. They were very upset with each other after dad died.

This must be the worst for Lydia. She visits that woman at least once a week, and spends hours talking to her. She's definitely the most loved grandchild even out of our four cousins.

I don't know what to say to anyone. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I'm tired of losing people. I know that death is a part of life and Grandma is 76, but that's still young.

"Is there any way that she can get better?" I ask my mother through the tears streaming down my face as she shakes her head. "Aunt Bonnie tells me she's in very serious condition, and the doctors are giving her a few days. The chances are slim to none that she'll recover." My mom tells me probably because my siblings already know.

"But there's a chance right?" I ask swallowing loudly. I feel so bad for not seeing her since Easter. It's almost summertime and I've told Lydia that I was busy every time Grandma asked her to bring me and Brady with her next time. I lied to get out of visiting my grandma and now she's dying. I'm a terrible human being.

"Don't get your hopes up, honey" my mom smiles sympathetically and I move down to the floor leaning my back on the side of the chair as my sister starts to wipe her eyes before bursting into tears again 30 minutes later completely unprovoked.

"You kids should get some rest. We'll go early tomorrow morning." My mom tells us all as she walks up the stairs heading to bed herself.

He three of us sit there looking at each other sadly and I realize we are together in this. I don't find my little brother to be annoying or my older sister to be bossy. We're just here grieving the upcoming loss of our grandma Betty.

I move over to the couch sitting next to Brady who is sniffling. "We should do what mom says and try to get a little sleep, kid?." I say to my little brother trying to be the strong one for once. It's always Lydia, but this time she's losing the most. She shouldn't have to be the leader even if she is the oldest.

"You should get some rest too, Lyd." I comment guiding Brady to the stairs by his back before turning to my sister.

"Can I sleep in your room tonight?" she asks us curiously and I nod before checking if it's okay with Brady. I probably should've checked. I mean Lydia hasn't done this since the few months after dad died and in that time Brady was a lot younger. He was only 10 so he didn't care if his sister was sleeping in the same bed with him, but being 13 he might care now. He can sleep in my bed if he wants or Lydia can. I don't care. I'm not going to be sleeping much anyway.

We get ready for bed before Lydia knocks on our door. I turn to make sure that Brady is decent before opening it to see my sister with her pillow, and a frown on her face.

"You can take my bed. I'll grab my sleeping bag." I mention walking to the closet and reaching up for the dusty old green bag.

I roll it out on the floor between the beds and my sister shakes her head. "Sleep in your bed. I'm the intruder. I'll take the floor. Thanks for letting me stay in here. I don't want to be alone." She adds sadly sitting next to me on the sleeping bag.

"No Lydia, its fine. You take the bed. I don't mind." I tell her with a sympathetic smile before she slides back up onto my bed lying down.

"Cam" she says later as the three of us lay in the dark room with a faint snoring coming from Brady. "Yeah?" I ask her curiously looking up at the pale ceiling.

"Do you think dad's in hell?" she asks me peaking her head down to look at me.

"I don't know, Lyd." I respond rubbing my eyes tiredly as I start to yawn.

"Do you think that grandma will see daddy?" she continues curiously and I continue with my same answer "I don't know."

"I hope that dad isn't in hell. I know what he did was wrong, but maybe god has exceptions for the mentally ill." She adds hopefully laying her head back on her pillow.

"Yeah… maybe." I tell her groggily starting to fall asleep.

"Hey guys, it's time to wake up! We're gonna go soon. You have to get ready!" or mother says peeking her head in the door and waking us.

I sit up on the floor and yawn before wiping my face. I was crying? I hate when I do that.

We prepare ourselves quickly to visit grandma and as we walk out of the house at 9 I see that I have a few missed texts and calls from Maya. I'll get back to her later. I just need to be with my family right now.

We drive to the hospital and my mom goes up to the desk asking what room our grandma is in as my siblings and I sit on a bench waiting for her to return to us.

When we get to the hospital room the door is open and we can see grandma. She's hooked up to a bunch of tubes and machines and she isn't even awake. After catching a glimpse at her pale skin and all of those machines all hope that I had for her to get better diminished.

No one could make it back from looking like this even if she is my tough grandma who's lived through 2 heart attacks.

Lydia grabs my arm as she walks in and starts crying at the image. She looks like she's already gone. She isn't the person we're used to seeing. She's not wearing any makeup which is strange for grandma and even stranger she's not making any noises. The machines are beeping, but that's it.

Aunt Bonnie walks toward us kids and gives us a group hug. "Nice to see you guys. Wish there were better circumstances." Our father's sister tells us sadly.

We don't see her much either. She lives in the states and she's probably only back after finding out her mother is sick.

She pulls away and instantly I feel tears welling in my eyes again. Grandma is dying.

We each have a few minutes by ourselves with her to say goodbye, but it's hard to think that the bright and vivacious person is in this weak and frail body. I know I haven't seen her in months, but this doesn't look like her.

I say silent goodbyes because honestly, it would feel strange talking to her when she doesn't feel here.

I pray that god let her know how incredibly sorry I am for not coming to visit her more often, and then I'm done. I have nothing else left to say. I don't know her that well. She doesn't know me. We are connected through years of birthday cards and Christmas presents, but I know little about her. I don't even know what she did for a living before she retired.

Lydia takes the longest as expected and she asks mom if she can stay for a few more hours. I don't want to stay. I love grandma, but I hate hospitals and like I said… it isn't her. She's too helpless to be my grandma.

Aunt Bonnie agrees to take her home after visiting hours are over and my mom finally agrees to let her stay.

I sit at home hanging out with Brady for a couple of hours mindlessly watching TV when we get the call that Grandma had passed. She doesn't feel anymore gone than she did this morning. I accepted this a few hours ago, but apparently my little brother didn't feel the same.

He starts sobbing when mom tells us the news and she rushes to his side trying to comfort him.

Lydia has got to be taking this hard. I had less hope than my siblings did. I always have less hope. I'm a pessimistic guy… It might have something to do with my anxiety… I don't know.

Aunt Bonnie walks in with a devastated Lydia and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do so I stay quiet as my mother talks to Aunt Bonnie and Lydia runs upstairs.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Bonnie." My mom tells my dad's older sister sadly embracing the large woman in a hug.

"I'll be alright. Lydia sure is upset though." Aunt Bonnie tells my mother gesturing up the stairs.

"She was very close to your mother. Poor girl." My mom explains before a door can be heard slamming upstairs.

This really sucks… I lost my best friend, my mind, and my grandma all in one month. At least I have Maya. At least I have the rest of my family.

"Where are you staying, Bonnie?" my mom asks my aunt curiously with a sympathetic smile as she replies "I'll probably stay at my mom's tonight."

How can she stay there? Doesn't it feel weird now that grandma is… well gone?

"I'll have to start funeral arrangements tomorrow. I talked to Leo. He'll be on his way up pretty quickly and I imagine that Paul and the kids will come down for the services." Aunt Bonnie explains sadly.

I don't get that either. Why must funerals be planned so quickly after a person's death? It seems like the family has 10 hours to grieve before they're forced to start planning it. It doesn't make sense.

"Alright, If you need anything don't hesitate to give me a call." my mom smiles giving Aunt Bonnie a final hug.

"Love you boys. I'll see you real soon." Aunt Bonnie waves to us before leaving.

I finally respond to Maya's text that reads "Hey, thanks for being there last night. I'm sorry that I was crying like an idiot. What's going on with you?"

"No problem. I'm happy to help. A lot is going on. My grandma died." I respond frowning as I press send. That sounds bad.

Before long my phone starts ringing and I walk out to the front porch just as the sun is setting to answer. "Hello" I say into the phone before she hangs up on me.

Okay… I am about to turn back inside when she comes sprinting across the yard onto my porch wrapping her arms around my torso.

"Cam, I'm so sorry!" she tells me embracing me in her tight grasp. I must admit that it makes me feel a bit better to be so close to her right now. I didn't realize how much I needed a good hug until she was here.

I wrap my arms around her waist as she leans her head on my collar bone sympathetically.

I don't respond with words. I just hold her closer to me until she looks up at me saying something else. "Are you alright?" she asks me with a very concerned look in her eyes as I nod my head slowly.

"Cam, if you need to talk" she adds smiling sympathetically as she puts her hand on my face making me look down into her eyes.

"I'm okay right now. Thank you though." I tell her biting my lower lip still holding her waist as she grazes my neck with her fingers as she brings her hand down from my face.

"Why does everything bad happen to you? It's not fair." She adds sadly while she bites her lower lip still being held to me by her waist.

"Let's not talk about that. It's not all bad. I have you." I tell her with a small fake smile and she chuckles before hitting my chest lightly in a joking manner really. "You're so cheesy!"

"Wow! I love you too!" I joke giggling slightly as she pulls away from me.

"You're sure that you're okay?" she asks sweetly grasping my hand tightly, and I nod my head. "You'll tell me if you need to talk about it?" she asks again with concern lacing her tone before I nod.

"So… I should probably go huh?" she questions pointing to her home gaining a shake of the head from me. I don't want her to leave. I would love for her to hang out a while and get my head away from everything.

"Will you please keep my mind off of things for a while? I'll be your best friend!" I add jokingly and she rolls her eyes at me. "I am our best friend!" she adds before sitting down on the steps leading out of my home.

I sit down next to her and look up at the twilight sky with a few stars shining down on us as I put my arm around her shoulder.

"And you're sure you don't want to talk about it?" she asks again looking at me sympathetically holding my hand that falls over her shoulder.

"Positive." I add sadly. This won't work if she keeps bringing it up. I'm fine.

"Do you think that your medicine is working?" she continues curiously and I shrug.

"I won't know for a while. It might be, but I'm supposed to give it a month to set in." I tell her wishing that she would stop talking about everything.

"How are you today?" I ask not wanting to talk about me any longer.

"I'm okay… Katie's home so that's fun. We were hanging out earlier, but now she's out with Marisol. We talked about you." She tells me with a small smile on her face.

"Oh? What was said about me?" I inquire raising an eyebrow at the blonde girl sitting beside me.

"I told her that you're the sweetest and she said that she knew that and that she's glad we're finally dating. I also found out that my dad and your dad used to say that we're gonna get married someday. I find that funny. Everyone thought we'd be cute together before we were even old enough to date." She giggles slightly. That giggle is just the cutest thing.

Marrying Maya? I hadn't given that much thought, but it could be fun, waking up beside her in the morning, having kids with her… building a life together… That would be a great way to spend my future.

"Would you ever marry me?" I ask her curiously biting my lower lip, and she looks at me strangely. "Cam, we've been dating for 9 days and I thought that you said you didn't want to move too fast. Let's not talk about marriage quite yet." She giggles again moving closer and kissing my lips tenderly. My heart flutters at the contact and I deepen the kiss slightly.

She moves her hand from holding mine to my neck pulling my head closer to her and before long we're pretty much making out. I love this. I love this so much.

"Woah there kiddies!" Katie calls as Marisol's car pulls up and she exits the car.

I pull away quickly and so does Maya both of our faces turning red as Katie walks under the tree to my front steps where we sit now a few feet from each other.

"Hey Katie, how you been?" I ask curiously with a fake smile as the older girl frowns at me.

"I've been okay… That is until I saw you and my sister… doing that!" she comments with a little anger in her voice. "I'm sorry" I apologize quickly before Maya stands up next to her sister. "Katie…" Maya groans at her sister obviously embarrassed and Katie just glares at her and then at me.

"Whatever… Where's Lydia?" Katie asks me switching moods quickly.

"I think she's in her room crying." I tell Katie hesitantly and her happy smile falls. "Why is she crying? Is she okay?" Katie inquires.

"Our grandma died today. She's taking it pretty hard." I tell Katie nervously before she raises her eyebrow at me. "Your grandma died and you're out here sucking face with my sister… classy!" she nods her head rolling her eyes at me.

"Katie, stop!" Maya adds annoyed at her sister while I shy further away.

"Fine… Can I go see Lydia?" she asks me curiously and I shrug my shoulders. "It's not my decision. You can knock on her door and see if she wants to talk to you." I tell her not really knowing what else to say before she pushes past me entering my home.

"You said your sister was glad we're dating? I ask her really not believing it after that little hostile encounter before she nods. "Katie's just hard on my boyfriends. You should have seen her around Zig." Maya laughs hitting my arm lightly as she sits down next to me.

I hate when she reminds me that she dated him.

"So Lydia's upset… How's Brady?" she asks me sadly holding my hand again.

"He's sad too. We all are. I guess I just suck at mourning." I groan referring to Katie's remark.

"You don't. Everyone reacts differently. You're perfectly normal." she tells me poking my side before kissing my cheek. Even a kiss on the cheek makes me see fireworks. I love her.

"Thanks" I say turning to face her smirking slightly as I look into those gorgeous blue eyes.

"You're welcome" she smiles back at me leaning her head on my shoulder.

"So… Cam, what time did you end up getting home last night?" she asks me curiously and I shrug. "Not too late. It was like 11. You fell asleep early." I tell her nonchalantly.

"Well, thanks for staying with me, and being the best boyfriend ever. Sorry for um… being a bit too… fast." She tells me frowning with her face turning red once again.

I giggle slightly at her face and nod. It's okay. I'm glad we talked about everything. You should probably tell someone about those texts though… Katie maybe?" I add thinking about those girls who were bullying Maya through text message.

"No! I'll live. It's not really a big deal. As long as you don't think I'm a whore then I'm fine." Maya responds frowning.

"Oh shoot. I guess you're not fine." I joke causing her face to tighten into a serious frown. "Let's not joke like that." she replies sadly looking down at her lap.

"I'm sorry." I frown back at her.

"Do you remember in 2nd grade when my hamster bit you?" she asks curiously changing the subject

"I guess… why?" I inquire laughing slightly at her randomness.

"I miss Lord Fuzzy Pants." She adds frowning. I can't help but laugh at that. Not only was her hamster named Lord Fuzzy Pants, but she's bringing this up out of nowhere.

"You're so strange and I absolutely love it." I add tapping her nose and she smiles at me.

Katie comes out of the house and looks at us with disgust as she goes down the stairs and head into her own home quickly before returning a few minutes later with a bag and a pillow.

"You're sleeping over?" Maya asks her sister curiously and she nods her head walking inside.

"I guess my sister's sleeping at your house." She frowns at me. "That means I get to sleep in my bed tonight… sweet!" I comment giggling slightly.

"What?" Maya asks with a smile and I clarify. "Lydia doesn't like to be by herself when tragedy strikes so I slept on my bedroom floor and she took my bed." I tell Maya and she nods her head while saying "oh"

"Well, you're the sweetest brother ever aren't you?" she adds putting a hand on my knee and I shrug. "I'm kind of a jerk to Brady." I laugh and she giggles the cute giggle again.

"Okay… No offense, but I'd be a jerk to Brady too. He's kind of annoying… well from what I remember when we were kids. I don't know about now." She replies with a smile.

"He's still annoying." I tell her with a laugh. "I love him though! Don't tell him I said that!" I joke and she giggles at me.

"Maya, time to come home!" Mrs. Matlin calls out their front door and she gets up frowning at me. "Bye boyfriend!" she pouts sticking her lower lip out as far as it'll go.

"Bye... I'll probably text you tonight!" I tell her as she crosses the yard. "Goodnight Mrs. Matlin!" I wave to the woman on the porch calling her daughter in.

"Goodnight Campbell!" she continues waving at me slightly before they both head inside.

I check my phone and notice that it's already 10. I guess we were sitting out here for a while. It's kind of like our spot. We spend a lot of time out here.

Gong back inside I am greeted again by the sullen tone. I sit with my mom in the living room where she's watching NCIS. It's a good show so I watch it with her before heading upstairs at 11 to find my little brother playing video games.

I message Maya while Brady plays some stupid game. "Hey, you sleeping?"

A few minutes later she texts me back "No, I'm about to though. :)".

"Oh. Okay. Sorry to bug you. Goodnight, M. Love you." I text her back. She doesn't respond and I assume she fell asleep. She goes to bed pretty early that girl.

Eventually, I also fall asleep while Brady is playing his stupid video games. Normally I would say something, but hey… kid just lost his grandma. We don't need to fight about this right now.

**Pretty please tell me what you thought. The reviews motivate me more than anything else. You guys are seriously the sweetest readers ever and I love you so much! When I see a review I get so crazy because it means so much to me that you guys like my writing. It's crazy to me that you do, but in the awesome way. Love you all! Have a fansational day! **


	16. Chapter 16

**I don't own degrassi **

Cam's POV

Grandma's funeral was nothing like dad's She had so many people who loved her, so many people celebrating the life she'd lived whereas at his father's funeral, no one could get past the way he died. They celebrated her as a person and all of her accomplishments whereas at my dad's funeral everyone just walked around with grave faces sharing their condolences about how sorry they were about him being sick.

I suppose it's expected. Dad brought his death upon himself, and no one really understood why. They knew he was sick, but no one there knew how it felt to be in that space. To feel like the only option is to leave everyone you've ever loved. I'm not going to say that I do get it, but I think I have a better understanding than most.

I used to not, but lately… the past few days I've been having thoughts. I've wondered what it would be like to just end it. I've thought about how much easier everything would be for everyone if I were just gone, but then I think about him.

I visualize my dad lying on the floor dead, and the thoughts diminish. It's not easier on anyone. Lydia, my mother, Maya, and even Brady would all be so crushed if I were to meet that type of end. I think they would at least…

At grandma's funeral there were people laughing and remembering all of the good times they'd had with her and in all honesty, I learned a lot about the woman. She was a bowler, she volunteered at an animal shelter 2 days a week, and she loved to help anyone in need. I imagine that truths are stretched slightly making her look like a better person than she really was, but at the same time I know that she was a special person. She had so many friends too. I'm sure her retirement community was there. I hope that someday when I die I have a lot of people who love and care about me to attend my funeral. She really did live a full life.

Maya's POV

It's getting unbearable. It's getting really unbearable.

It started out pretty innocent. Tori was just telling everyone what a bitch I was for going after the guy she liked. I could handle that, but then she started with the rumors.

Day after day I've found out more guys I've "Slept with". Random people that I don't even know are calling me a whore when I walk through the hallway. Apparently, I've slept with the entire football team, and I was cheating on Zig the entire time I was with him.

I cry myself to sleep at night because I can't take everyone always coming at me with insult after insult. It never seems to end. I know that I'm not a whore. Scratch that. I knew I wasn't a whore.

It's one thing when Tori and the other girls I used to hang around with call me names, but it's gotten to the point where guys are claiming to have done gross things with me. I only made that mistake once and it was with Zig.

Even though I know I haven't done anything with those guys it's hard to not believe it when everyone is calling me a slut. I swear that I only have one person left on my side and its Cam, but at the same time if he knew everything that was being said, I doubt he'd stick by me.

I brought this upon myself. The only reason anyone believes a thing Tori says is because of the stupid picture thing that already put my rep as a good girl in the trash. Why would I be such an idiot?

The only time I feel safe anymore is when I'm with Cam, and now he's dealing with his own family stuff.

My phone buzzes and I look at the notification. "Tyler R. has tagged you in a picture"

Why would Tyler tag me in a photo? I've never taken a photo with him. I don't even think I've talked to him since grade 3.

I tap the notification waiting for the image to load anxiously. The minute it does, I wish it hadn't.

Asshole photo shopped my head on a naked girl's body. What is wrong with him?

It was posted 10 minutes ago and it already has 40 likes. Oh my god people actually think that this is me? People think I would do that?

The first comment comes from Tori "LOL. What did you do to get this, say hi to her in the hallway?" She's such a bitch!

Report! Report! Report! I click the button at least 40 times waiting for it to load. It finally goes through and sends me a message that the image will be taken down from the site. 40 people have already seen it. He's a dead man.

I glance around my room as the tears start to blur my vision and I notice one last remnant of my friendship with Tori sitting on a shelf. The "Best Friends Forever" frame she got me for my 14th birthday. So much for that…

I slam the frame against the wall and watch as shards speckle the carpeted floor. That wasn't smart of me.

I carefully pick up the scattered glass pieces holding them in my open palm when I feel a sharp pain in my foot. "Shit!" I yell sitting on the bed not realizing that the pain had caused me to squeeze the glass pieces in my hand. My hand drips with blood and so does my foot. Great job Matlin! You're officially an idiot and a whore.

I clumsily hobble to the bathroom cleaning myself up and picking the smaller fragments of glass out of my hand as I rinse away the blood. It's weird, but I kind of enjoy the hurt in my right hand right now. It's dimming down the anger and sadness I feel toward everything and everyone.

Saving the biggest piece of glass I set it down carefully on my bed once I'm finished cleaning up the rest of the mess. I don't know what I plan on doing with it. Something in me just doesn't want to throw it away.

Cam's POV (2 weeks later)

We lounge on the couch in my basement watching a random rom-com for the umpteenth time, but I couldn't care less about the movie. I'm watching Maya. She lays beside me cuddling up into my chest as she giggles at every "funny" thing that Adam Sandler does in _50 first dates_ our movie selection of the night.

She nuzzles her head deeper into my chest and her breathing slows. Maya can't stay awake through any movie I swear. Her sweater covered arm rests on my torso and the sleeping girl begins to emit a barely audible snoring. She snores cutely too.

I watch her sleep for almost an hour before I notice. I'm sure that she wouldn't want me to notice, but I did and I can't really turn back now.

As her arm made a slight fidget and her sleeve went up about 5 inches I notice something I wished I would never have to see in my life. Maya Matlin, the perfect girl, had horizontal scars covering her arms.

I lift her forearm gently noticing all of the little marks that I had been to careless to see in the past. I'm not sure how long she's done this, but only 2 of these are really even scarred over. The rest look so fresh. Why would she be doing this to herself?

"Maya wake up!" I insist nudging her shoulder with the arm that is wrapped around her as I examine her other one closely.

She opens her eyes quickly yanking her arm away from me and pulling her sleeve back up with the groggy look on her face immediately switching to an ashamed one.

"Maya, what are you hurting yourself for?" I inquire concerned as I start to sit up on the couch.

"I'm not! It was an accident." She lies with a frown on her face sitting beside me.

"I'm not an idiot, Maya! Please don't do that! I love you!" I explain to her sadly as the tears form in her eyes. "Maya, tell me what's wrong!"

Wiping away her tears she responds through her sobs "I don't know. I don't know what else to do."

I wrap my arm around her hugging her close to me as she cries into her hands. "What do you mean you don't know what to do? Do you think you need to see someone?" I question with the same worry that I've had since discovering her secret.

"No! I'm fine!" she tells me rubbing her eyes quickly.

"Maya, this isn't fine! Tell me what's going on with you." I comment sympathetically only now seeing the sadness in her deep blue eyes.

She shakes her head not taking her eyes away from mine and I nod mine. "Maya, you need to tell me what's going on."

She's quiet for a minute before finally starting her explanation as to why she'd decided to do that to herself.

"Everyone at school hates me! I can't take it anymore. I have no friends other than you and it's just hard."

"Don't let them do this to you. You're stronger than this!" I add sadly pointing to her wrist.

"You don't know what it's like to be the school whore when you haven't even done anything! You've heard the rumors! Cam, they all think that I'm a slut. Tori has made me out to be some disgusting little hussy and everyone believes her!" she cries.

I knew she was being bullied, but I had no clue how much it was effecting her. A few texts really made her hurt herself?

"That's not true! There are lots of people who don't believe her. I don't!" I add wiping a tears away from her face with the side of my index finger.

"You're the only one! No one talks to me anymore! I get mean texts! Someone even posted a pornographic photo with my head photo shopped on it on my facerange. I ended up just deleting my account, but everyone saw it. It had like 40 likes, Cam! I'm the school slut!" she responds breaking down more.

"Who did it? I'll kill them! Why didn't you tell me?" I add hugging her tightly as she trembles in my arms.

"It's not a big deal, Cam. I reported the image and it got taken down. I'm just sick of all of this. I can't even walk through the halls without someone calling me a mean name. I hear rumors about me sleeping with guys I've never even spoken to before. It's not fair. My entire reputation is ruined just because Tori thinks I like stole you or something." She sobs holding onto me tightly.

I rub her back reassuringly wanting nothing more than for her to be happy. "Did she call dibs or something?" I ask jokingly not really understanding this concept as she nods her head.

"I don't know how I feel about being objectified like that. I'm a person with my own thought and feelings!" I add with the fakest frown I can muster as she giggles slightly through her tears.

"Have I mentioned that nothing makes me happier than seeing you smile?" I grin at her sympathetically as the corners of her mouth rise slightly.

"You're so cheesy!" she groans grabbing the pillow we had been resting on and hitting me with it. She's smiling again at least.

It turns into a bit of a tickle war. "Stop!" she squirms through her laughter as I attack her sides. "I can't breathe!"

I finally stop and let her catch her breath as she smiles up at me. Déjà vu. This is almost exactly the same position we were in when I tried to kiss her before she and Zig were broken up. At least now I don't even have to think about it. I lean down connecting our lips and she wraps her arms around my neck holding my mouth to hers as we participate in what is surely defined as a make out session.

"Oh! Gross! Get a room! Actually don't! Just stop!" Lydia squeals walking down the basement stairs with a hamper of laundry.

We separate ourselves immediately both of us turning red as we stare at the television. As soon as Lydia goes back up the stairs I burst into laughter, and Maya giggles a little bit too.

"Your basement isn't the best place for that." Maya giggles her face a deep crimson as I nod in agreement.

I almost forgot what we were talking about earlier when I see the marks on her wrist, and frown. "Maya, I love you so much!" I tell her putting a hand on her leg trying to make sure she never does that to herself again.

"I love you too." She mentions pulling her sleeves down again to cover the mutilated skin. How could she do that to herself?

At least there's only one week left of school. Soon enough it'll all be over and we will be together for the best summer ever.

"Maya, I need you to promise me that you won't do that to yourself again." I mention sadly glancing down at her arm.

She nods her head sadly in response. "If you need someone to talk to about it I'm always right here." I continue pecking her on the lips quickly.

"Kay" she nods with a smile. It's the fakest smile she's ever given me.

I don't know why, but I don't believe that she's going to stop. I don't think she'll stop until they stop and god knows when that'll be. I've never been in this situation before. Do I tell her parents? Do I keep it a secret?

She's lucky it's been cold out lately. Next week it's supposed to be like 30 degrees though. She can't where sweaters when it's that warm out. She'll have to explain herself to her parents eventually. It's not my business to tell them right?

"Do your parents know?" I inquire pushing some of the hair in her face behind her ears as she shakes her head. "Please don't tell, Cam. I promise I'll stop." She pleads with me.

I don't believe her for a minute. "If you do it again I have no choice. And I'm serious! Don't do it!" I add worried before hugging her one last time.

"Don't you know that I'm supposed to be the unstable one?" I add trying to lighten the mood a bit. It doesn't work so well.

"I'm gonna go home. I'm not feeling well all of a sudden." She tells me pushing away from my hug. "Okay. I love you. Remember you promised!" I add as rushes up the stairs.

Please don't let her hurt herself again. She's the only person who makes me happy and I can't handle it if she's sad.

**Oh my gosh guys. I'm so sorry that it took so long. My last computer broke and I just couldn't bring myself to rewrite the chapter and then I forgot what direction I took it in and had to change it. Anyway, I hope you liked it. I got inspiration for this chapter from watching cyberbully. I'll try my best to update this more frequently, but I have lots of other stories going and it'll be pretty sporadic with all of them. Thanks so much for sticking through my terribleness. I love you all!**

**Your reviews on the last chapter made me see that something else exciting needed to happen, but then I forgot what it was so I wrote this. I hope its exciting. If not I'm sorry I'm inept at writing.**

**Please leave me a review telling me what you thought of this chapter. Suggestions are also super great! I need them right now!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Trigger warning I guess. I'm sorry it took so long. Thanks for being patient you lovely people!**

**I don't own degrassi.**

Maya's POV

I grip the large glass shard in my hand gently grazing my thumb across the smooth surface. Moving my eyes to the sharp edge, I see a slight residue of the blood left from the last time I used it. I walk to the bathroom rinsing the blood off under the cold water before returning to my bedroom closing the bathroom door behind me.

Sitting down on my bed, I glide the sharp edge across my skin watching as the blood trickles out. The familiar release brings a small amount of relief to my demeanor.

I know that I promised, but it's so much easier this way. I feel terrible about lying to Cam, but it's not like this is affecting him in any way. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, and I'll just be more careful about covering it up.

I'm done with my arms. That's where he'll check, and it's been a bit warm. It's hard enough covering it up from my parents let alone the only boy who figured it out. I've moved on to my legs, and sometimes my stomach.

It started out innocent enough. It was kind of just an experiment. I thought "I feel like crap and maybe, just maybe it'll help out a bit." It did. It felt so much better and it became addicting.

"This is the last time" I tell myself time and time again. It never is. I keep doing it. I keep doing it because now I have to. I need it as much as a person needs air. It comes second nature. It's always just there in the back of my mind.

I thought it'd be better when school ended, but it hasn't been. I just feel more alone. It might be because Cam and his family went on vacation to visit his family in the states, and now I really don't have anyone to talk to. Sure, he says he'll call me everyday, but it's not the same as having human contact.

Katie hangs out with Jake a lot now that both of them are back in town, and he finally forgave her for whatever happened in Vegas that she still won't tell me about. The texts kind of stopped, but it doesn't help. I know how much everyone hates me. This just blurs the loneliness with the pain.

"Maya, do you have my green…. Maya!" Katie shouts shocked barging in through the bathroom door.

I drop the piece of glass covering my bloody leg with my hand as she watches me with concern and surprise all over her face. "Maya, what the hell are you doing?" she rushes beside me sitting down on the end of the bed beside me lifting my arm from my leg and revealing everything that I've been trying to cover up.

I yank my arm away quickly lying it back down on my leg. "Nothing. Katie, just go away!" I yell annoyed at her for just barging in.

"No! Why are you hurting yourself? Don't be stupid!" she responds worriedly.

"Leave me alone! It's not like you care." I groan rolling my eyes at the girl beside me.

"What are you even talking about? Of course I care. You're my sister and I love you. What brought you to do this?" she continues sadly.

I roll my eyes again wishing that the older girl who couldn't give a shit about anyone yesterday when she got yelled at by our parents for sneaking in after staying at Jake's until 7 am would go back to that. I don't really want to explain it to her. I don't know how to. She'll think that I'm being overly dramatic, stupid, and letting them walk all over me. She's always been so popular. She'd never understand.

"I don't really want to talk about it!" I snap at her standing up as the blood drips down my leg.

"Well, you're going to. This isn't alright. What's going on?" she asks me standing up and matching my harsh gaze with a worried one.

"Katie, just leave me alone!" I yell at her waiting for her to leave.

She frowns at me before bending down and picking up the bloody piece of glass taking it with her before exiting my room into the hall. I hear her go down the steps, and realize that I'm absolutely screwed. She's telling mom and dad. I know she is.

I walk over to the bathroom cleaning my leg up slightly realizing only now that Katie barging in caused me to cut a bit deeper than usual. I dripped on the floor too. Shit! I try my best to clean it all up putting a few band aids on the deepest cut before my mother calls me downstairs. Wow, that was quick.

I walk into the dining room where my mother, my father, and Katie are sitting at their normal dinner spots gesturing for me to sit. The bloody glass is sitting on a paper towel in front of Katie, and I can't take my eyes off of it.

Cam's POV

Aunt Bonnie invited us to all come down to Ohio for a week, a trip we hadn't made since dad was alive. She doesn't want us to go years without seeing each other again, and I suppose that's understandable. Family is the only thing anyone really has in the world.

We drove down for the first time without dad. It was kind of weird to not have him there to attempt to make us play stupid highway games. Mom never did long distance driving. She was always the navigator, and she was even bad at that. Luckily, she purchased a GPS for the very extensive drive. I guess that in reality 5 hours isn't that bad, but it's still kind of a ways away.

I think the last time that we went to Ohio was the summer before I was in 6th grade. It was really fun when we were kids. The change of scenery, getting to spend time with our cousins, just seeing how happy dad was to be with everyone.

We brought grandma when we visited last, and that was always when dad was happiest. He loved being around his family.

I don't know how it will all turn out this trip. It's not like I've even really spoken to Ricky and Angela recently. I mean they went to the funeral, but we didn't really say more than "Hey, how've you been?" This week will be interesting I'm sure of it.

We pull up into the vaguely familiar driveway, and Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Paul rush out of the home to greet us. "Hey guys. How was the drive?" the man with a grey bowl cut and a very tan face greets us smiling.

I shake Brady's shoulder to wake the sleeping middle schooler before getting out of the car. "It was long. We didn't get lost though! Thanks to the Gipis!"

"The what?" Aunt Bonnie questions Lydia confusedly as she pops the trunk to get her suit case. "The G-P-S. Lydia likes to not spell out acronyms." I clarify to the two confused adults.

"Oh." She grins at us. "Lydia, don't you worry about that! Cam and I got it! Right Cam?" Uncle Paul pats my shoulder before taking Lydia's suit case. "Sure"

I help Uncle Paul carry in the content of our trunk with Ricky being recruited to help after the 1st trip. "Hey Kid, how you been?" the 6 foot tall boy asks me with a nod of his head.

Even though he and Angela are only a year older than me, he always has insisted on reminding me that I'm younger. "I'm alright." I shrug my shoulders dropping the last suit case on their guestroom bed.

"That's cool! So how old are you now, 14, 15?" he asks as if he doesn't know which I know he does. I was born the day after Angela and his first birthday.

"I am still only a year younger than you making me 16." I roll my eyes at him.

He laughs slightly before taking his hand to my head and messing up my hair. "I forget sometimes. You're just so short, you know!"

I fix my hair and walk down the stairs back to where the rest of my immediate family was congregated.

"Hey Cammy!" Angela greets me with a smile and open arms as we walk down the stairs. The blonde haired girl who is about my height hugs me telling me how much she missed me before moving onto Brady who she basically lifts off of the ground to hug. "Brady! You're getting so big!" she squeals as Brady just about freaks out.

"You saw me last month and I should be. I'm 13!" he answers pouting at the fact that a 17 year old girl can lift him. He is quite small, but so was I at that age. He'll be slightly bigger when he gets older.

"Lydipop!" she squeals once again moving onto my sister who is definitely most excited to see her "Angiecakes". It's so lame. They've had those stupid nicknames forever. I think that they still talk from time to time too, but I'm not really sure. They probably do. They act like they're best friends.

"Ooh! Ricky and I are so taking you and Cam to this thing at my friend Jenny's tonight! You can meet Freddy and Cammy, I have this friend who just loves hockey players." Angela adds with a grin in my direction.

"Cam is actually dating our neighbor, Maya Matlin. You kids met her when you came to visit years ago I'm sure!" my mom butts in. "Yeah" I nod my head pointing at my mom acknowledging that what she says is factual.

"Well, your loss!" she laughs. "Wait a minute, that really scrawny blonde with the weird hair and geeky glasses?" my cousin questions giggling.

I frown at her before defending Maya. "Her hair isn't weird and she's not geeky." I rebut annoyed at her for insulting Maya that way. She might not be here to hear it, but I'm very protective of Maya especially since finding out about what she was doing to herself.

"Dude, you got a girl? Didn't think you ever would!" Ricky puts his hand up for a high-five that I ignore. "We haven't spoken in years. You don't know anything about me." I roll my eyes at him. "Campbell" my mom frowns at me.

"Wrong dude! I know how you look and that's enough!" he laughs at his "funny joke" and Brady joins him. "Burn!"

"You look like me so I wouldn't be so amused, idiot!" I say smacking the 5 foot boy in the back of the head.

"Mom!" Brady calls upset for my mother who had turned away for a brief second. "Cam hit me!"

"I barely tapped you!" I insist as my mother scowls at me. "Campbell, act your age please!" she reprimands disappointedly as I nod my head.

Brady needs to grow a pair and stop crying to mommy whenever he's a little asshole. I can't believe I have to share an air mattress with him for a whole freaking week.

Later on

"Wow! No way! She was cutting her leg with glass? …I don't know if he knows. I doubt it. He wouldn't keep that from your parents I'm sure!" Lydia speaks into her phone pacing the floor of the guest room while I struggle to blow up the air mattress.

"Who are you talking to?" I question my sister having heard bits of her conversation. It sounds like she's talking to Katie probably about Maya. I knew it was stupid to believe she'd stop.

"Katie. Do yoy know that Maya's been like hurting herself?" my older sister asks me in a whisper putting her finger over the phone's microphone.

"She promised me she'd stop." I respond sadly rubbing my forehead.

"You're such an idiot sometimes! You should have told someone! Katie walked in on her slicing up her leg with a piece of glass!" she groans before returning back to her phone conversation.

"Yeah! He knew. Cam is so stupid I swear!" she groans walking out of the room. I don't even care about being called names by my sister right now. I feel a bit betrayed. Maya made a promise, but apparently she never intended on keeping it.

What did she think that if she started cutting her legs instead that I wouldn't know? Did she plan on wearing pants all summer? Where exactly did she do it?

I need to call her. I press 1 on my speed dial and it's evident that she doesn't want to talk or she's not near her phone. It goes to voicemail and I speak quickly. "Maya, it's me. I need to talk to you it's really important. Call me as soon as you can!"

It's nearly 10 when she finally calls. "Hey Cam! What's up?" she asks with her fake cheery tone. I can see through it doesn't she know how well I know her?

"Maya, I thought you were done hurting yourself!" I start with an upset tone in my voice. She lied to me. I'm allowed to be angry right?

"I am! What are you talking about?" she asks playing dumb. "Your sister called my sister! I know you were cutting again!" I explain with disappointment in my tone. Lie after lie. What is wrong with just being honest? Owning up to her mistake?

"Damn it Katie!" she curses before returning back to the conversation. "I'm sorry. You don't know what it's like." She claims with an audible swallow. She sounds like she's going to cry.

"You need to let people help you! I did! I couldn't be better! I mean this thing that you've got going on is causing me some anxiety, but I have it under control. It's not okay to resort to self-harm! I love you! I don't want anything to happen to you!" I tell her sadly wishing that for once she would just let me in. She pretended like I'd never found the scars on her arms for the last 2 weeks. She hasn't talked about being sad or anything. I thought it was getting better.

"You don't understand! I'm not crazy! I don't need medication! I don't even need to talk to anyone! I just need for everyone to stop hating me so maybe I can stop hating myself!" she grovels pathetically into the receiver.

"Do I not count? How many times do I have to tell you that I'm fucking head over heels in love with you for you to get it through your head! Your family loves you! My family loves you! Maya, so many people love you! A couple people at school shouldn't matter!" I explain to her getting a bit frustrated. How could a girl so perfect ever feel like she is anything less than perfect?

"Of course you count, and my family has to love me! It's different from people actually liking me. Everyone thinks I'm a disgusting whore with syphilis, and they're all right." She cries. I can barely understand what she's saying through her sobs and loud breathing, but I heard that.

"Maya, is there something you're not telling me? Should I get tested?" I giggle knowing that she didn't mean it that way and reminding myself of what happened on the first night of summer. It was as close to sex as we've ever been, but damn was it fun! Maya knows what she's doing. It does however gross me out to think of why she knows what she's doing.

She's done that same thing to Zig god knows how many times… Don't think about that! She chose you! She loves you!

"No… That's not what I meant!" she sighs sadly. "I know, Maya. I'm kidding." I tell her reassuringly.

"I really miss you!" she adds with a deep exhale. "I saw you yesterday!" I remind her. I know what she means though. Knowing that she is next door in case I need her always helped me make it through my tough days. Me being in a whole different country just makes it hard.

"It's just a week! You'll get through! No more lying to me though!" I add with a fake accusatory tone.

"Okay! I'm sorry." She responds guiltily. We talk for another hour about everything that has happened since I got here and how annoying my cousins are before my mom, Lydia, and Brady all want to go to bed. I say goodbye to Maya, and she bids me goodnight. I promise to call her every day. I know now just how much she needs someone, anyone to talk to.

**I know it's been seriously forever guys. I've just been going through a rough time and school is insane and I don't have time to update everything super frequently. I'm sorry. I'll try for once a month on everything, but I'm sorry if I don't have EHC updated before the 25****th****. My birthday is Thursday and I still have homework and junk. Anyway, thanks for your unbelievable patience as well as all of you who have favorite and followed and reviewed since my last update. I love you guys so much! Tell me what you think! I love knowing your thoughts! Not even kidding! It makes my day even if they're negative!**

**Ooh! You guys should follow me on tumblr if you have a tumblr. Leahbobeah3236! Also, just realized this is ch 17 and I;m turning 17! Yayy!**


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